Glenn Beck is a secret _______? (See Details)
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ETpro (
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February 3rd, 2011
Glenn Beck’s exposition of the looming worldwide conspiracy theory got a new chapter added this week with the unrest in Egypt. Now not only is Obama secretly a far-left anti-American Socialist Communist Nazi who secretly hates white people. He is also secretly part of George Bush’s push for a New World Order and—wait there’s more—George Bush’s New World Order conspiracies are secretly in cahoots with Obama and with the Muslim Brotherhood to usher in a Muslim Theocratic Caliphate covering all of Europe and the Arab World. And there is more. The secretly Muslim Obama has got his Muslim operatives into right-wing conservative organizations and they are destabilizing them. Perhaps George W. Bush helped with that part of the plot.
Now I’m willing to listen to theories and wild ideas. So I have listened to Beck as each new thing that happens in the news fits perfectly into his massive conspiracy theory that now involves secret ties between most of the Earth’s population outside of Glenn Beck and his loyal listeners. However, it occurred to me that it’s equally possible that Beck himself is the one who is secretly something or another. But what? Fill in the blank, Glenn Beck is a secret _______?
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32 Answers
Fucking idiot. Oh, sorry, that’s no secret.
Entrepreneur-Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Glenn Beck is a secret egomaniac, profiteer, media whore who will say or do anything to make the world believe – as he believes – that he is a prophet.
You guys are cheating. Those aren’t secrets.
socialist
wouldn’t that be a hoot!
Ghost writer for High Times.
muslim! he’s an undercover instigator.
Nazi.
oh, yeah. That’s a surprise!
All great guesses. Thanks everyone. But I think @zenvelo may be on to something. He’s hoping to make the secret Obama conspiracy to build a world Caliphate look so ridiculous that none of us will believe in it. Then when the Caliphate takes over, he bashes Obama in the head with a shovel like he’s always talking about, and he rules in Ancient Babel-on.
He is not-so-secretly insane.
I’m not sure if this counts as a secret, but some people have claimed that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.
Now, I’m not saying that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. I would never say that. I mean, I don’t know if he did or not. I’m just asking questions. But if Glenn Beck didn’t do this horrible act, why hasn’t he provided any evidence to the contrary? Isn’t that awfully suspicious?
@Qingu Sounds pretty suspicious to me.
@Qingu I believe you may be thinking about Joe Scarborough.
@bkcunningham Scarborough is connected to the suspicious death of Lori Klausutis, a 28 yr old staffer of his, whose body was found in 2001. @Quinqu is referring to a rumored rape and murder by Beck in 1990.
When I say he was a monster, when I set fire to his name, it does not matter where you hear it from, whether truth or lies, it gets said all the same…..... whatever’s on the table plays.
(Song lyrics, but oh so true)
I think good ol’ Glenn is actually a drunk clown at childrens’ parties.
Sane.
It’d be a pretty good act.
@Qingu Wow. I hadn’t noticed it till you mentioned that. But did you know Beck’s connected to Jeffrey Dahmer and to the Craigslist murderer, Philip Markoff? Connected how? I drew arrows on my chalkboard connecting their names to the Glenn Beck’s name.
We can be grateful that Glenn Beck is compulsively transparent. We should have few doubts of who he is and what he promotes.
He’s a secret mod at Yahoo Answers.
@Dr_Lawrence, I don’t know about that. Sometimes I get the sense that he doesn’t actually believe his own bullshit.
I suppose most fraud cult leaders have to skirt that line. In some compartment of their brain, Glenn Beck, Tommy Thompson (Scientology spokesman), televangelists, etc must know that what they are saying is nonsensical bullshit or outright lies, but that part is simply overruled by the other parts of their brain.
I seriously believe he “secretly” relapses into alcohol and drug addiction from which he states he has been in recovery since 1994. However, I know this to be untrue at least in one case. As late as 1999, I personally saw him doing lines and downing shots in the VIP area of a high-end martini bar in Tampa, Florida called Malo’s. His waitress complained that he had groped her. He had to be carried out by his companions after the management threatened to have him arrested. Although he has frequently described his period of substance abuse in detail, insisting that he has been sober since 1994, he has never admitted to this event. As current evidence of his failed recovery, I cite his increasingly manic outbursts and wild gesticulations which are inevitably followed by spontaneous crying, often within minutes, as classic signs of substance abuse exacerbated by an earlier diagnosis of ADHD.
I am confident that anyone exhibiting his emotional instability in most white callar positions would be terminated very quickly.
He has had 3 “unscheduled” vacations since 2007 besides those described in his contract, two of which he took without his family in Connecticut to parts unknown for two weeks at a time. One of these was directly after his rants attacking Obama as a racist which caused a severe drop in advertising during his FOX NEWS time-slot.
As to the accusations that he raped and murdered a young girl, this was posited on a website created to falsely accuse Beck and bait him into publicly defending himself in the effort to give him a taste of his own medicine—the same type of wild accusations he has inflicted on others for years. The site clearly stated that it was satire. Beck’s lawyers contacted the owner of the site and within a few weeks it was taken down without comment.
@Espiritus_Corvus Great answer. Thanks. Glad you were able to find mooring with an Internet Connection.
Very Tenuous, but for what I’m paying, it’s good enough.
Can’t you put a satellite dish on the boat?
As far as I know, the movement of the boat would cause the dish to lose signal, but tech may have improved in the past few years. There is always satcomm outfits, found mostly on larger vessels, but that is out of my budget. AT&T and other providers have satellite USB cards now, but they are dependent on phone towers which aren’t reachable offshore and therefore not worth the money or the hassel of a contract which in itself is counter to the lifestyle I have chosen (for now). So, I either pirate off unsecured bayside motels, etc., or use the Wifi at various docks. But the docks in the secluded areas in which I usually stay – far away from cities and surrounded by large expanses of gulf hammock—invariably depend on dishes, and they often lose signal when the slightest wind blows up (Another reason not to sign up with DishTV). I’m happy with the iffy Wifi I get at the slips. It’s cheap and non-contractual and I have the onboard radios and a pre-paid cell phone if I really need to communicate with the world.
At the moment I’m fogbound in a dead calm, so the signal is very good.
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