How do i become most confident in bed with my husband?

What feelings go through you to make you feel like this?
It is a physical sharing of how you feel and I may be wrong, but it sounds like you are thinking of it as only a physical act.
Ask your husband what turns him on. Suprise him with notes or texts or thoughts of some sensual desires to keep him thinking about it all day. Learn what turns him on and use that to your best.
I don’t think he would make fun of you and would actually think opposite if you opened up and explored the intimacy of this a bit more.
Is there anything you have come across that makes you more arroused or feel less inhibited?
Seeing a therapist to work this through certainly is a good option to try to get to the core of why you may feel like this.
I think it all comes down to being comfortable to open up your confidence.
The best adage i can say on this and other things is:
Practice, practice, practice, practice

Well I think it might be about me being insecure about my body or maybe the fact that in past relationships its been made a physical and all about pleasing the men not about me and I could be acting the same way with my husband although our relationship is much different… idk??

Get a little drunk before you engage in intercourse and think he is not just having sex with you. He married you because he loves you. He is simply trying to show you physically how much he loves you and is looking for you to be fully engaged in the moment along with him. Opening your eyes and looking at him as you engage in sex tells him that you want him as much as he wants you. By closing your eyes you are robbing him of the intimacy that he is looking for. That is probably why he doesn’t understand your reluctance. When you married you both vowed to be there for each other every step of the way. How can he trust you caring for him if you can’t even look at him during a time when you both bear all too each other? Trust that he loves every inch of you and that he believes you have nothing to be ashamed of as far as he is concerned. However closing your eyes may also make him feel he may not be so attractive to you in return.

tell your husband what makes you comfortable and what gives you pleasure. Say “I like it when you do ____” and “I get turned on with ____ ”

Is there anything you do for him that gets you excited? What gets you aroused?

My best answer would be to say that my most satisfying sexual experiences have been when I just give in to sensation, find the primal you. Try new things. Of course a little drink or 2 might relax your inhibitions a bit as well. In my experience, men never mind a little dirty talk.

talk nasty, be nasty. it works

From a long time of experience, I will say this to you…........just be yourself. your husband is very familiar with your body parts and please believe me, if he loves you, he loves you just the way you are. let “things” just take their natural course and most of all RELAX and enjoy the moments. you are not an actor and each performance does not have to be a standing ovation. you will learn this over time.

I forgot to mention that surroundings and state of mind has a huge impact.
Setting a romantic mood or place can help. Music can play a huge part in feeling the music and allowing it to move you in a way to deepen the experience.

When you are not in bed with your husband, talk to him about your feelings.

Engage in sensual touching without having sex. Give each other massages.

This is an interesting question.

In what way do you not feel comfortable with him? After all, he is your husband and you are having sex with him. Both of those facts seem to indicate a certain ‘comfort level’, and yet you say that you aren’t ‘comfortable’. I’m not dismissing what you say, not in the least, but it’s curious.

The part about having lack of confidence issues with one’s body is pretty normal, and I understand that for some reason this applies more to women than men (at least in the USA). And I have no idea why, because women generally look so damn much better than men, in my opinion. Not that I’m dismissing those issues as irrelevant or immaterial, either, but it seems to me that anyone with a ‘normal’ (i.e., not wholly conceited) outlook on life recognizes the imperfections of his or her own body, and perhaps magnifies that sometimes (and maybe does that ‘more often than normal’, even, which doesn’t make the feeling itself abnormal). So at a certain level you have to accept the reality of “it is what it is” and just ignore some of the ‘feelings’ you have about that.

I think one way that you might overcome some of that feeling is to open your eyes (put aside the discomfort that you might feel to see what can happen) and set out to deliberately seduce your husband next time you’re in bed – or next time you’d like to take him there. That is, gently but firmly and completely take control of the foreplay and watch his reaction as you touch him in the ways that he likes, and do ‘more of this’ and ‘less of that’ as you see what does and does not turn him on. Make it last. The longer you keep him aroused – and non-orgasmic – the longer you’ll have him in the palm of your hand. Maybe literally.

Most of the time (speaking for myself here) when I sense my partner’s excitement level rising, it has the exact same effect on me, whether or not she is ‘doing’ anything to me or not. And you can tell these things by touch and by sight even more ‘honestly’ than you can by what a person says. Bodies don’t lie too well; when you find his erogenous zones and slowly tease him with them by taking complete control of his reaction I think you may find your own confidence as a seductress increasing to the point where he may feel a bit intimidated by you.

Robert A. Heinlein said it better in fewer words: “A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best.”