Why do I want a ring? I surely don't want to get married!

Because society has brainwashed you. You have no want or need, so this is the only reason why.

Just buy a fake one if you want to wear one around the house, but if you don need one, want one or want to show one off, what other explanation is there?

Because some of us like pretty baubles.

I have plenty of those “showing off” rings. I just for some reason want one from him, and cannot for the life of me figure out why it is so important to me.

If you don’t know, how can we?

@gailcalled I dunno. Trying to figure out, at my advanced state of independence, why the fuck I care. Seriously, it’s bugging the crap outta me why I suddenly find this small weird thing important. I love him, he loves me, we have it soooo going on, we both know where we are (and aren’t) going in life. But just so recently I’m like “hey! where’s my ring??”

Because you want him to do something to make your friends jealous. It’s not about the guy, it’s about one-upping your friends.

As Cher said in Moonstruck, “Snap outta it!!!”

I see nothing wrong with wanting a lovely token of your guy’s affection, something that symbolizes how he treasures you and something that makes you smile and feel good every time you look at it. Symbols are powerful things, and we would be foolish to underestimate them.

Also it can be nice to have some outward sign that you are “taken,” even if you don’t have any trouble fending off the idiots.

There are all kinds of rings that aren’t engagement or wedding rings. A nice topaz or amethyst, for example, can be beautiful but quite modest and does not announce “engagement.”

I think you might be torn about this because you don’t want to fall into some traditional thinking rut that just isn’t “you,” but at the same time you feel the tug of the very same impulses that gave rise to those traditions. Before you say anything to your boyfriend, how about going to a jewelry store by yourself and trying on a few rings just to see how you feel when you imagine wearing one?

I think you should ask yourself if you would be just as content with a necklace or a bracelet.
Otherwise I’d be questioning how confident you really do feel in your relationship. If you have no desire to get married, it would seem to me that with you craving a ring (which is traditionally symbolic of commitment and ultimately marriage), I can’t help but wonder if what you really want is for him to make some kind of grand statement about his commitment to you.
For the most part, society has conditioned us to take these steps. We find the person that we want to be with, fall in love, get married.. and so on and so forth. Not that it necessarily applies to all couples in today’s world, but the idea has been firmly planted in most of our heads.

You want your cake and eat it too! Nothing wrong with that IMO as long as it is diamond encrusted dark chocolate cake!! Happy “V” Day!!

nothing is wrong with you- i have a perfect carat center stone, and after five years of service in which I was treated like a slave, my husband has met someone else. So I am going to sell my perfect carat. I’ts always a good thing to have

Don’t fight it. be like everyone else and prop your finger out for the ring. once on your finger, you will understand its true meaning. yes, its a showy thing, but hey, that’s what all the girls like, right?

Although you may not want marriage you may want an outward sign of the commitment you both have or at least a sign of his commitment to you so you can show others. The longer you are with a guy the more friends and family will ask what is wrong with him. Maybe subconciously you want something to get them to bug off a little.
Or you simply want him to spend a lot of money on you and want the opportunity to brag about it.

Sounds like you want the best of both worlds. I surmise you are not whole heartedly on board with this guy. You want to be, and you crave everything about it, being in love with him, and you want to wear this beautiful ring, but deep down you know, he isn’t the one.
Sorry, I don’t like being so cruel, but that’s how I read it.

Maybe you actually want to get married, and you just haven’t realized it.

I’m guessing that you’re not quite as secure about everything as you say you are. Maybe your mind thinks one thing but your heart feels another. Or maybe you don’t have a need to show the world you’re engaged, but you’d sure like to join in the conversations your friends are having about their ring/wedding plans/etc. Also, people take your relationship more seriously once you’re engaged…. is there a family member you want that from?

You love sparkly things? What could be wrong with that?

Just tell yourself it has something to do with the Lord of The RIngs! Easy.

I want the same thing—I don’t want to get married, but I’d love to wear a ring my SO got me if/when I find an SO. I don’t think it means you’re subconsciously insecure, just that you want to celebrate the relationship with something symbolic, but not with the governmental papers that usually follow the symbol.

And, I think @Jeruba nailed it.

I think @Jeruba is spot on.

The only thing I can think to add is maybe you want the experience of getting a ring. He is making a show of his love and commitment, you get that rush of excitement and get to show all of your friends. I know that sounds shallow, but it isn’t – at least as far as I’m concerned.