Do you think people are more interesting when they have problems?

No.

I think we do find them more interesting, but from a distance. We’re fascinated by them in books , films and the internet, but we’re reluctant to entangle our lives with them.

Everyone has problems that they deal with.
It is how one deals with adversity is what really counts in my book.
The people that I find interesting are the one’s who do not whine,complain,blame others,feel sorry for themselves,look for sympathy,bitch and cry about their problems.
They handle life well and are an inspiration to others.

No. Everyone has some issues that he or she struggles with, broods about, revisits, or otherwise ponders.

I have a good friend who has chronic environmental allergies (including severe nerve pain when near sunlight and electricity), porphyria and some undiagnosed stuff that cause her misery.

She lives in a house with no electricity, smoked glass on all the windows and door glass, and can go out only when the sun has set. We can’t wear perfume, aromatic make-up, lotions or shampoos when we visit.

I visit her weekly; she makes a delicious lunch on her gas stove; we play piano duets together by candlelight and she is as much interested in my life and the outside world as her own miserable conditions.

I rarely hear her whine; we try to problem-solve together, we can laugh, we can weep, we can discuss the news, books, astronomy, music, etc.

When she is forced to go somewhere by car, she has to crouch in the back seat covered with very large sheets of aluminum foil.

I think it’s more about the fact that people are more interested in finding how people are dealing with problems when they themselves have problems.

No one is interested, really, in finding solutions to things going right in their lives.

“All you ever wanted from the day you were born was to contribute.”

When someone has troubles, it’s easier to think you can be of value to them. So yeah, there’s an attractiveness to people with troubles.

Of course, as you become closer at some point their troubles become yours and you are forced to do the calculus: are they worth it?

No I don’t think so. Well maybe some people do find other people interesting when they have problems. Then they could “try” and give some advice and so from their on you have maybe created a relationship with that person.

I personally think that I am more interesting when I am happy and I do not have any problems. If I have problems then its very boring talking to me because I would only be thinking of the problems.

I think it is an innate trait that has been in the animal kingdom for tens of millions of years.

Did you ever watch wild kingdom? Every week they’d show some predator taking down a prey animal. After the lion grabs a gazelle at the watering hole, what happens? Do the other run? Do they help? No. They go about their business but watch as the victim gets eaten. Maybe they learn from it. Maybe they think “Hey I told Tubby not to eat so much. Too much grass makes you run slow. ”

On the Thruway why do we look at the Nissan pulled over in the opposite direction getting a speeding ticket? We can’t help it. We figure “Hey,. serves him right. If the poor bastard had a Valentine One he’d be on his way. ”

There is an expression: “Everyone likes to watch a train wreck.” I don’t think we can help it.
Go to Youtube and look up “accidents”. There will be hundreds of millions of hits. Clearly it is more than just one or two people looking. It must be part of human nature.

While I might want to look at a train wreck, I wouldn’t want to be involved in one. Same with relationships.

No, problems are interesting but so are people. It is when people don’t have problems that they can be artistically creative.

Nah, quite the opposite in fact. Those folk have a tendency to suck the energy out of an unsuspecting individual. Living with a cloud over your head can spread to those around you. I prefer sunnier climes.

I want to say no, but something inside me really wants to scream “YES!! People who live blissfully on the surface of things are intensely more boring than those of us who have problems, issues, and baggage!” It’s just an irrational feeling I can’t explain. I can’t back it up terribly well.

Honestly, they wear me the hell out.

I don’t care about whether or not someone has “problems”. Since everyone has them, it’s a non-issue. What’s important to me is what they do about the reality of their life. Drama queens are not in my future. People with a healthy sense of humor and an imagination are.

Well, everyone has issues that they deal with. We’re not all on the brink of suicide, but we all have issues even if compared to other people’s they seem “unimportant”. Personally, I’d rather be around people who do not have such serious issues that I need to constantly watch myself or else set something dangerous off. I find it interesting to talk about issues, but personally I find it more interesting to be around people who are not so gravely issue-ridden and at least have some stability in their life; I have my own life to deal with; I don’t need additional negativity and difficulty from people with “serious issues”. If it comes up I’m not going to try and weasel away from it, but I’m not going to seek it out.

No. I have zero interest in others angst and drama, most of which is self induced. lol

It is true that once one transcends their own dramas, and practices only speaking of present moment stuff there is virtually nothing to say. haha

Think about it. If you only speak of what is happening right NOW in your life, just this very moment, this practice would eliminate 98% of what most people chatter on about, the past, the future, everything but right now.

I joke about this all the time, but, people like their dramas.

when people express that they have problems it doesn’t mean that they are more interesting, it just means that they are demanding more of our attention. someone can be a very interesting person and ‘have it all together,’ so to speak. The only difference is that we might not know that they are so interesting because they don’t express a need for help or conversation. What is potentially interesting about a person remains concealed because we don’t search for it and they do not present anything to us. Take me for example, I’ve been told in the past that I was ‘intriguing,’ and that was at a time I had alot of problems and was very social as well. Now that life has slowed down for me alot (I still have problems, just not as many) I sometimes used to think maybe I am boring as a person (for instance, if I wrote a short story about my current situation, would anyone want to hear it?). I don’t believe that I am boring per se, just that I have less to talk about as things have winded down to the ‘status quo.’ There is not too much difference from day to day, and if I spoke with you a week ago not much has changed from now to then. If someone asked me about my life story, or interesting experiences I’ve had, or if any of these stories/experiences came up in context, they might find me very interesting indeed. But under normal circumstances all of these interesting things I might have to offer remain below the surface, only brought out upon context or special situations. My life is not in such a state of flux or as volatile as it was in my younger days, so therefore I have less to talk about with regards to everyday conversation, which mainly revolves around present ongoings.

So my conclusion is that part of being ‘interesting’ at any given moment is all about whether a person’s mind is being tapped or whether they are coming forth with their own feelings/concerns/thoughts. When all of these lie beneath the surface (as they often do during ‘normal’ times), how is anyone to know whether a person is interesting or not? Obviously we think our close friends are interesting, and surely this isn’t based on the fact that they always have problems, right? But we know our friends on a level that others (acquaintances and strangers) perhaps cannot see because they are only presented with the seemingly shallow projection of themselves (that everything is ‘honky-dory’).

I hope you can make sense of my ramble lol

The most interesting person I have met was a homeless veteran that lived near Avila Beach in California. He spent his days wondering around the town and the local nude beach making friends with everyone he met. He had such interesting stories to tell, but what I loved about him the most was how kind, happy and generous he was. Most people would think a life like his would be problematic. I’m sure it was in some ways, but he didn’t let his homelessness define who he was as a person. I’m lucky to have met him. He was unforgettable.

As opposed to someone who doesn’t have problems? No such animal.

Those who constantly talk about their problems are tiresome, as are those who never discuss anything of substance in their lives.

People are absolutely more colorful when the problems stack up. The ones who amaze me the most are those dealing with normal day to day BS problems and then mock the people with issues that barely rank close to their problems and then pile on the “I deal with my health and money issues and don’t complain, if they only had my problems then they would have something to complain about. My ex and her brother were champion non-complainers!

It depends. I think ‘problems’ and whatnot can be interesting. I mean, when you read a book, see a play, or watch a movie, the characters aren’t living blissful, perfect lives. What makes things interesting is conflict and how the characters work through it. ‘Problems’ can give someone some depth or help you understand why they are the way they are, based on what they’ve gone through.

That said, people who are all drama, all the time, those that talk only about their issues, complain about their lives, and who are ‘Oh, woe is me’ all the time… no, I don’t find that interesting. To the contrary, actually. I find that rather boring and tedious.

I also can think of plenty of very interesting people who are interesting because of what they do outside of their problems, which everyone has to some degree or another. Like, maybe they’ve traveled a lot or done fascinating things I could only dream of doing.

I don’t think they are more interesting, but they certainly are talked about more. They spill out their drama for everyone like some toxic waste spill that requires haz-mat to clean up. I find people who make efforts to silently solve their own problems and who, in turn, work tireless to help others solve their problems infinitely more interesting than the average run-of-the-mill “wait-til-you-hear-what-happened-to-me” egoist.

People are annoying when they have problems.

Do problems make people annoying?

Oh gosh, no. Having been “raised” by someone with very serious problems who tried to offload them onto anyone who’d relieve her made me race in the other direction from similarly-burdened people. These days, I don’t exactly run, but I find that people who are issue-laden and not getting help makes me very wary to be in their company.

I know this probably doesn’t make me seem very empathetic, but until I feel I can handle being around people having serious issues with compassion – without feeling automatic guilt for not solving their problems or enmeshing myself with them – I stay away.

There are problems and then there are problems. Someone who is upset because he can’t find the model of car he wants at the price he wants to pay.. bleh!

Someone who stays and stays with an abusive or just wrong partner and wants to unload all the pertinent crap… bleh!

Someone who plans to buy me a present but is abducted by aliens and so can’t make it to the store – this guy I’m willing to help work out his problems.

Not really since most people have problems.

I hope so. Problems are about all I have. I’ll have to try to make them as interesting as possible.

My work and family is filled with people with problems and I love ‘em, but no. I need some peace in my life. I am lucky to have balance with a crazy family and job but supportive husband and friends that help ground me. I find wise, thoughtful, kind people to be the most interesting.

The most interesting people I’ve met are the ones who’ve dealt with their “problems”(which every living person experiences) in a positive way, i.e. those who’ve allowed themselves to learn and grow through dealing with a tough experience.
Those who don’t fall into victim mode inspire me hugely and I love being around that energy. I find those who see themselves as a victim and take a back seat in life to be draining and tiresome.

I think that when you can see the problems that others have that it helps you to identify with them. For instance, if someone seems to be struggling financially somewhat, then I immediately identify with them because I seem to be in a perpetual state of being short on money. Also, being highly empathetic, I can usually put myself “in the person’s shoes” when they are having problems.

Finally, seeing someone with problems just makes me love them more, because they seem to need it, as opposed to those who always act like everything’s okay. Everyone has something they’re going through, but those who act like everything’s perfect make me more suspicious…

@stardust

I parrot your sentiments exactly!

@stardust @Coloma; Me, too.

Add my name to Stardust’s fan club. Lurve for you SD!