God is a rather sloppy carpenter. Have you ever looked at a construction site? Ever notice all those scraps of wood and heating duct and insulation and God-knows-what lying around on the ground? Some of it is pretty big and sometimes there is an awful lot of it.
Or maybe God’s just a big baby. They make quite a mess, too. Ohh. And they slobber all over it, while they’re at it. Yeah. One of those giant babies, sitting on the…. nothing in his diaper, picking up everything and putting it in his mouth and putting it down again.
So, he’s playing with nothing, and twisting it this way and that, and tasting it to see if it might be good to eat…. Well, no, not really. Babies taste stuff to learn about them, not necessarily to eat them.
Did you ever wonder what nothing tastes like? I mean, before there was anything to compare it to? Nothing was the only game in town, and God was definitely into it.
So babies do what babies do. Pooh.
Basically, God ate nothing and poohed out something. How’s it feel to know you’re a piece of shit balancing on the cusp of nothing?
But God, like I say, pretty messy. Left a lot of leftover nothing lying around, while he went on to grow up, attend Oxford and The Sorbonne and get an engineering degree. Or maybe it was a linguistics degree.
Unless he went to MIT and is now working on the large Hadron collider. Seems he’s trying to figure out what exactly he did when he was a baby. I think he thinks that if he can get the grand unified field theory of the universe before anyone else, he’ll be able to rein in all that nothing and put it to good use.
Or maybe he’ll buy Google stock with it.