If love occurs during the context of a mental disturbance, is it really love?

Since there was never a relationship, does it matter?

Considering perception IS realty to the one perceiving it, I’d say it was as ‘real’ as it could be for the parties present level of consciousness.

So the answer can only be that it was AS ‘real’ as it possibly could be given that persons state of awareness.

I agree with Coloma: perception is reality. That love existed.

Psychosomatic pain still actually hurts. So, yes, I concur, that was really love.

Love, in and of itself, can be described as a “mental disturbance.” You can never really predict whom you will fall in love with, so if a person “thinks” they are in love, then they are in love. That doesn’t mean that it is a good situation. People fall in the love with all sorts of “wrong” people even when they aren’t in the middle of a mental illness or mood swing.

So yes, the love part was real, but it doesn’t even matter, because the relationship part was not real. It didn’t exist.

Having been in that position, when I look back on it, I still think it was love. It was a crazy kind of love, but then, I was crazy. The passion was off the charts, but the length of each relationship was around a month.

You could easily argue it wasn’t love because it didn’t last long enough. Or that you really couldn’t tell the meaning of your feelings because you weren’t thinking the way you think now.

I wasn’t thinking the way I think now. But I sure knew depression when I felt it. I don’t see why I couldn’t recognize love when I felt it. Or didn’t feel it.

@wundayatta

I dunno…sounds more like infatuation and dopamine than ‘love’ to me.

That’s why so many relationships never fully launch.

After the chemical cocktail of ‘meet, mate and procreate’ wears off nothings left. lol

Sure, if you perceived it as ‘love’ then, in your minds truth, it was, but in real reality, doubtful.

Whats that saying..’ immature love’ ( infatuation) is hot, ‘mature love’ ( real love ) is warm.

Slow and steady wins the race. ;-)

you all have such great responses! keep them coming :)

@Coloma can infatuation be long lasting (meaning like a year and a half) and extremely intense?

@glenjamin

Sure. The average length of the ‘honeymoon’ phase of relationship lasts about 12–24 months, then ‘reality’ sets in. lol

Most of what people call ‘love’ is nothing more than the dance of hormones, unconscious psychological attractions and ones own need to be ‘special.’

‘True’ love is all about anothers happiness and growth over your own, even if that means freeing them to be with another.
Very few people have the mental, emotional and spiritual maturity to engage in true love. To be able to say ’ I love you enough to never keep you from whatever it is you need that will foster your growth and life experience.’

Most of what we call ‘love’ is nothing more than selfish clinging and attachment to getting one’s OWN needs met.

Sure.

Is there another context in which romantic love occurs?

@ratboy good point, but assume the circumstances were not solely based on the love (in other words there were also [uncharacteristic] anger issues, e.t.c. – a mood disorder like bipolar)

Why not?

My friend Katherine would love this question. She is constantly in psychiatric wards and assisted living homes (she’s 27) for the psychotic breaks she has due to her bipolar disorder. She is constantly getting severely obsessed with guys from her past, to the point where they end up calling the cops on her and getting restraining orders because she texts and calls them so much. i think she would say, yes, it is real if it is in your head.

We all feel love in different ways , depending on the circumstances and there are many kinds of love , it could have been a special bond they felt ,blended with the feeling of love .
We all need different people for different reason , sometimes the love will fade away , though the friendship stays intact or it fades away as well .

I don’t think it is love. There are a lot of dark cycles to it, generally, one person can get dragged through the mud – for little to know reason. I think the disturbed person wants it to be love, because they are wanting an emotion that they may not be able to feel fully, at that moment. However, not to cheapen how the person feels. I believe they feel it is love. No one can take that away from them, as long as they move forward.

I see it as very close to what we call young love or puppy love. Teens are ruled by their hormones and lack of experience, and they fall in and out of love accordingly. The love is real, but not the lasting kind of love life partners have.

Who is to say who is disturbed or in love?? Everyone deserves their own desires realized un-adjudicated by third party interpretations.

First ask yourself if you really know what is love ?

@appans Baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more…

@Cruiser I ask this question because of my own personal experience. When trying to sort things out for ones’ self, the answers aren’t always so clear.

@glenjamin I do know what you mean and mental disturbances aside, I think we all have been there a time or two or three. Yes an outside opinion can help make some sense of things, but it is after all up to you to sort it all out. Meditation and not over thinking the situation usually helps me see things for what they really are on my own.

I remember well my divorce where I had all sorts of opinions and psycho mumbo jumbo filling my head at that time till one day it dawn on me there was nothing wrong with me at all and shook off all the despair and was back to my happy old self once I let go of attempting to assume responsibility for her problems. ;)