Any good tips/ways to distract yourself/not think about someone?

oy, that really stinks. unfortunately I would have to stop being around that friend to get my mind off of it. maybe try cooling the friendship for awhile, and try making some new friends (and meeting new girls). don’t feel bad about your feelings, it just doesn’t end up the way we want it to sometimes. heartbreak is a fact of life for all of us. it might take some time depending on how long you’ve had these feelings for this girl, accept this and move on.

Um. Step 1. Don’t post about her to Fluther.

@6rant6 thanks a lot. that sure helped.

@glenjamin Yes, that would be the case normally. I would try to distance myself, so we could save the friendship “eventually”. The problem with that is, that her step father just got cancer in the brain (no idea what that is called), and I’m the only one she relies on, when she’s really down, we’re that kind of friends.

Forget rubber bands on your wrist and get a taser.Use it on yourself whenever thought of this person enter yourt noggin.;)

@OliverYoung I feel for you I know how it feels to be in that position, it just hurts to be around the person. Well at least try to distance yourself as much as you can if you can. I know you want to be a good friend but you have to think about yourself as well. I always hated being that kind of friend to girls I was interested in but somehow it always happened. Try to take yourself out of that ‘nice guy’ role, otherwise you will fall into that pattern and always wind up getting hurt. not that you can’t be a ‘nice guy,’ just don’t be THE ‘nice guy,’ whose shoulder girls cry on, if you can understand that. Don’t let their problems become YOUR problems Good luck

@lucillelucillelucille Aha ! Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind! :)

@glenjamin Thanks! It’s (sadly) a familiar situation I’m in, and this time I wont let it get the better of me!

Stop being around her right now. You really can’t preserve the friendship and keep your heart whole.

fluther

Because she has already stated that she doesn’t feel the same way about you, you are really in a bind. I had a relationship like that once. I was the one who only felt like being friends with the guy, and he was madly in love with me. We tried to be friends, but because he felt much more for me, he was always inadvertenly showing his love for me in little ways, like the way he would sigh and look at me, or “accidentally” brush up against me or touch my hand. I had a boyfriend (and we never had the misfortune of kissing like you did) but it got really un-comfortable for me because I knew he could never be just friends. This carried on for a couple of years, but eventually he managed to get jealous and continually make me feel guilty for not feeling the same way. He finally picked a huge fight with me and I walked away, never to see him again.

Unless you can truly let go of your feelings for this girl (right away) your friendship with her will always be un-comfortable and awkward. You’re probably better off just starting to limit your time with her and then fading out of the picture. In the meantime, hopefully you will meet or already know some other girls who you would like to date, that will feel the same way about you. Sorry this happened. It hurts.

When I was in this situation (on the other side of where you are) it felt awful. I wanted to feel a romantic attraction for this friend, because we had a lot of things in common, but you cannot force yourself to feel something for another person. No one can really explain how attraction and love work. So I felt like crap for not loving him or being able to give him what he wanted, but then I started to resent him and be irritated by him, because he wouldn’t stop treating me in a lovey-dovey fashion, even though I had a boyfriend that I truly loved. Because neither one of us could change how we felt, it was better that we ultimately drifted apart (or rather got ripped apart because he picked a jealous fight with me and I left, forever).

I’ve also been in your shoes. I fell in love with a guy and we dated briefly after he spent a lot of time wooing me, only to dump me and let me know that he only wanted to be friends. Because I loved him, I could not simply be friends with him. It hurt like hell to be around him, especially when he took up with someone else. It was just awful. Luckily he moved away, but I would have had to have left him and stopped being around him, anyway, because it was just so painful. I’ve learned over the years that you cannot force yourself to love any particular person, or to stop having feelings for a particular person, but if you continue to be around someone that you love and they don’t feel the same way about you, your life will be hell. It’s best to walk away discreetly (without causing a big scene or having a fight) and then find someone else who wants to be with you.

A new exercise regimen.
Spring clean your home.
Organize your closets and cupboards.
Create a 6 month budget.
Plan a vacation somewhere.
Catch up with friends and family you’ve been on “one liner” terms with.
Wash and detail your car.
Ask a bunch of friends over for a bbq.
Catch up on self grooming (eyebrows, nails, skin polishing, etc.)

I am in (almost) the same exact situation you are, and whenever I start thinking about that certain someone, I crank my music (happy music, not that sad, depressing stuff) or try to talk to one of my friends. My heart goes out to ya man, hope it all works out in the end.

I was the girl’s situation once. I kissed a guy friend knowing that he liked me, then wanted nothing more. It’s my #1 regret from high school. Sorry about that, nice guys out there.

1. I was also on your end of it once, and to move on I focused my attention on developing a crush on this other guy. That was a bad idea because I convinced myself that I liked this other guy enough that I was really upset when he smooched my best friend after prom (he was MY prom date). So it could be a good idea to distract yourself, but could end in more heartbreak.

2. Try to take on something that will occupy your mind. Plan a weekend camping trip with your bros and spend your brain-power planning meals? Think about stuff you could do for your mom for mother’s day? Learn a foreign language? Just something that you can think about a lot, for a short-time fix.

Or, drink. Always makes me feel better. Good luck!

Thanks everyone. If you want to know, THIS is actually helping.
I guess I’ll focus a lot on my music and on reading in the near future.
Thanks! :)