My neighbor just died from giving child birth , why ?

I am sure you are saddened at her loss and at seeing the loss her husband and relatives are experiencing. I send my condolences.

My daughter died in childbirth as well. America has one of the highest childbirth mortality rates in the developed world. We rank in 40th place with most industrialized nations having far lower death in childbirth rates than us. The same goes for infant mortality and our life expectancy is well below the other developed nations.

We have some of the world’s finest medical care, but it is primarily reserved for the rich. A large percentage of our population is uninsured or under-insured. Standards of care vary wildly from one hospital and doctor to another. I am convinced my daughter’s death was needless, and the result of botched care. This is one of those areas where right-wing stubborn insistence that the US is best at everything is the major obstacle. You are never going to fix what you refuse to even admit is broken.

I’m really sorry about this. Sad as it may be and even harder to realise I myself have come to believe when it is your time to go, you go and there is nothing that can be done about it. And sometimes it may be in the most strangest of circumstances. I don’t know if that’s helpful or not, but being someone who has lost 2 loved ones at very early ages I think I had to think of some kind of reason in all my mourning.

This won’t be a particularly helpful response, but a local teacher just passed under the same circumstances. I, too, was surprised. I honestly didn’t realise that it was something so common until I heard it on the news just this morning. What a tragedy.

It also depends on what you call the finest in medical care.

I chose to have my babies at home BECAUSE of the insistence by my prospective doctors that I would have to have a C-section, and lots of other medical intervention that I believed was unnecessary. I have never had a C-section, and my babes were born healthy, and without incident. Homebirth is not for everyone, but for those who make educated informed choices, it is an option. I have had 5 children (4 of them at home, one of them in a birth center).

My friend had a loved one die in childbirth last year. I think what happened was that she had an allergic reaction to her amniotic fluid (she came in contact with it in a new way during childbirth) and went into anaphylactic shock and couldn’t be saved. Maybe this is what happened?

It is so sad. You’d think that this would never happen anymore.

Hemorrhage is the most common cause of death in childbirth, by the way. But I don’t know what makes it more likely to happen or anything…

Part of the reason you are shocked, besides saddened, is because it seems to me in America there is a willful decision among many to promote pregnancy and birth as wonderful, natural events with little problems or complications. Of course the promise of a new life is a wonderful and natural event on one hand, but without medical intervention women died all too often in history, and still more than you would expect in some poor countries. Significant numbers of women have minor to major health issues to deal with during and post pregnancy.

In America dying during or related to delivery is very rare, but still happens. Massive bleeds would be the most difficult for a doctor to battle I would think. A doctor friend of mine, his wife hemorrhaged in her 9th month, I am not sure if her labor had started or not. She, a doctor as well, happened to be at the hospital when it happened and lived. If it had happened almost anywhere else it is likely she would have died.

Toxemia can be deadly, and gestational diabetes is common enough, and can damage vital organs.

This is inconceivable.The pain that the family and friends (you) are experiencing must be unbearable. If you discover what caused her death, however, I do not think that your “why” will ever truly be answered. Death is mysterious. Your neighbor’s death is mysterious and is, moreover, shockingly tragic. It feels to me like you are wondering WHY? on a much deeper level than the practical facts may reveal. If I am being presumptuous, please forgive me. Is it possible, though, that on some subconscious level you realize that your need for an answer may be a lifelong process? Why did she die? How could a young mother be taken away from her children and husband who need her so desperately? How can life be so unkind? What does this kind of random tragedy say about my life?

These are the why’s that you will seek to answer throughout your lifetime, I believe. After
having read your post, I am pondering the same questions. I imagine that many other
readers of your post are also part of the collective why’s. It appears that, on some level,
we humans are all philosophical creatures. We wonder about our existence. We wonder
about the end of our existence as we know it to be. Most of us are also compassionate and empathic. Your story affects us all.

My heart goes out to you. My heart goes out to this young mother and all who loved and
were loved by her. Though I do not know them, or even you for that matter, I will often wonder about them and forever ask…WHY?

I cannot prognosticate on what has caused it but I am sorry for your and her family’s loss.

@aLittleBit Why is it inconceivable?

@Pattijo I’m so sorry to hear this, please let us know what you find out about her death.

@ETpro , I am truly very sorry for your deep loss. I cannot imagine how you must feel about the loss of your daughter. Did you also lose your grandchild?

We now often feel quite removed from the dangers of childbirth, but right here we know of people who have experienced this tragedy. Let’s hope that we continue to make progress in the care of woman during pregnancy, delivery and the post-natal period.

I think we tend to take for granted that in this time of all kinds of technology and medical intervention, death is only for accidents, the elderly and diseases for which there is no cure. However, there are some things that doctors cannot do, and when it’s your time, it’s your time. It is very sad for the family involved.

@JLeslie It is inconceivable because I cannot “conceive” of this kind of pain. I am pained simply thinking about this tragedy. Do you feel similarly?

@aLittleBit I understood your statement differently. I thought you were saying dying during childbirth is inconceivable, not the pain associated with the loss. Of course it is a horrible tragedy. I cannot imagine dealing with that loss while at the same time a new baby being brought into the world that will now be motherless, and its siblings as well, let alone the spouse’s shock and grief.

@wilma Thank you for your condolences. My daughter died 3 days after the successful birth. Her straining during labor had caused her rectal tissues to rip internally, and the hospital somehow didn’t notice that, nor that she was feeling worse by the day till the third day when they rushed her into surgery, but too late to save her life. She died of blood posioning. I blame the hospital, the Norfolk Naval Hospital. But nothing could be done to hold them accountable, as they wrote the record of it as they wished. Fortunately, the baby was fine and is now a grown woman and looks like a carbon copy of my daughter. She is doing beautifully. She has two children of her own now.

@jca It is true that “there are some things that doctors cannot do,” but it is unfortunately also true that there are many things doctors can do that some just don’t bother to do. That is a good part of why the USA rates #40 among the world’s nations in deaths from childbearing. Other issues are our poor dietary choices, smoking, lack of exercise, etc.

@ETpro: true, there are things that negligent doctors cannot or will not do. However, we can’t expect doctors and medical technology to always be miracle workers.

@ETpro that is just tragic. I’m sorry what you had to go through, a hospital in my area was negligent with my husband, twice and the second time killed him! I get how you feel. Hugs. I’m also glad your daughters genes got carried on in life.

@Meego Thank you so much.

@ETpro incredibly sad. So sorry for your loss.

@JLeslie Thank you. I am so sorry for @Meego s loss, because it sounds like she has had much less time to heal from it.

I failed to read @Meego answer. Thank you for pointing it out.

@Meego My condolences to you also. Medical negligence is very hard for me to accept and deal with, I can’t imagine how hard it has been for you.

@ETpro Thank you so much yes it has only been just over a year. Maybe I would of been better to say you know how I feel, not that it’s a great feeling or anything, but heck you know what I’m getting at.

@JLeslie It’s ok. It was and still is hard for me to deal with as well. The hospital was negligent with my husband and caused his loss of total vision which was completely fixable. Then years later he went back to the same hospital and somehow from home to hospital I had a guy who was breathing fine they would not let me travel in the ambulance with him it took me an hour to get there, 10 minutes after I got there they had him intubaited and they would not let me in until after. My husband was deathly afraid of the hospital, his last words as he got put in the ambulance and they told him where he was going were “I can’t go there”. I had to convince him I told him I would be right behind him. I never got any answers from the hospital. I believe they intubaited him because he was scared and not properly communicating with them if at all. Think of a scared child. Anyway I believe he was needlessly intubaited because after that it was downhill, why would they not try other oxygen measures first. I guess I’m not a nurse or doctor and I think I’m solely going on emotion here. Ultimatley not only did the hospital take his ability to see they also took his ability to breathe on his own. And his life they stole with they took his sight but the real point of it all is that they believed they were doing the right thing, and everything happens for a reason and again when it’s “our time” we will go.

@meego Your story stirs all sorts of emotion in me, the most prominent being sadness and anxiety. I am currently dealing with a medical issued and am terrified about decisions I have coming up, and doctors doing the wrong thing. I just made an appointment, and hung up teary and trembling I am so nervous I am not going to see the right doctor.

@JLeslie My sympathy goes out to you and my hopes that you recover quickly and fully.

I’m gonna pray for @JLeslie :) for a safe recovery.

Best of luck @JLeslie. Keep us posted as you can and would like to.

Awww. Thanks everyone. I don’t want to give details, but I will let you know how its going.