Have you ever been through a stage in life when you have had no friends and have had difficulty forming new friendships for various reasons?

Right now.

@deni

if you dont mind sharing, howcome?

going through that time now… it sucks.

I call this growing up.

I’ve been there for several years.
I have one close friend nearby and we associate quite a lot and another that I see every couple of weeks. The rest are scattered and too busy to be available very often.
Between this and also letting go of several people whom were no longer a blend I am at an all time low for friends.

I have no complaints really, I’m a happy camper, it is what it is.

I completely understand this. It’s a tough thing to be going through. In my case, I started to drift from different friends for various reasons – let go of toxic/dead friendships, moved away and had to go through that adjustment period for a while, which I suppose I’m still going through. I’m a very private person – sometimes overly guarded and so I can block opportunities to meet potentially great people.
It’s a lonely place to be, but I think it comes around in its own way for people. I’m slowly starting to meet new and interesting people so things are looking up.
Someone once told me to remain true to who I am and I’ll attract the right people into my life. I think that’s pretty sound advice. Good luck!

I felt very alone after my first marriage ended. Everyone I knew was part of a couple and sometimes, single women can be seen as pariahs. It meant when I did have time without my children (which was also rare and in itself meant it was hard to organise time to go out as an adult with friends) there were few people to go and socialise with.

Nope. :)

lucky you @incendiary_dan… how do you do it?

No idea! I’m not even particularly extroverted. I guess just luck. Or my pretty face.

<—-

Now.

Yes for twenty years because only parents of autistic people understand how difficult my life is.

I went through a time when I had friends, but felt very lonely. In Jr. high my friends who I had known for years began doing stuff I was not really into. Drinking and partying more for instance. Many of them became cheerleaders and I was not really hanging out with them anymore. They were never mean to me, but I simply was not as friendly with them as I had been. What really helped me was a I got a job. People at work were so nice, and I was good at my job, so I felt good about my accomplishments, and had some spending money. Plus, the teenagers at work did not drink, so a lot of peer pressure was off of me. We went to the movies after work or grabbed something to eat. Funny enough at school, the other kids thought I was really cool, because I worked at a popular jeans place, and I didn’t really feel cool at all, I sort of felt on the outside among them.

My advice is actively put yourself out their to make friends. Invite people over, or to have lunch, or to a movie, etc.

How old are you? Not that it really matters, my advice would be the same for a 15 year old as a 50 years old, you can’t wait for people to come to you.

My family moved several times a year when I was a kid so outside of my schools, I had no true friends for several years. Knowing we’d be leaving a house every few months made me feel it was pointless to go around the neighborhood looking for other kids to get to know. Because of this, I spent most of my time indoors reading which annoyed my parents to no end.

My whole life has been like that so far. I’m pretty sure it’s because I have little tolerance for most people. Luckily, my boyfriend happens to be my best friend, so it’s not as lonely. I still wish I could meet people I actually liked.
I think Fluther’s a good place to come if you have trouble making friends. The people here are pretty good.

When I was 7, yes. But that’s because I was a pupil desegregating an elementary school and the neighbourhood kids at the school were told by their parents not to talk to us. As for the other kids who rode in on the bus, they called me an oreo and were not inclined to talk to me, either.

2nd grade was a rough year, yo.

@aprilsimnel How long ago was this? Was it an all white or all black school?

1976, I was transferred to a previously all-white ordinary K-6 grade school. The Milwaukee Public Schools finally desegregated the same year as Boston, but with less overt violence. In 1977, I was transferred out to an all-city magnet school for the creative arts with heavy Montessori influence. I wish I had remained there.

@aprilsimnel: I was a Montessori kid too. It seemed to me that’s where all the non anglo kids went… I had no idea of the real world and also wish I’d been able to experience Jr. High and High School there but it wasn’t available past elementary levels.

I don’t have a relationship such as I did in high school anymore. There are a few women that I would consider good friends, but they all live in other areas and I don’t have anyone that I could call to go out for lunch or to commiserate with. I don’t have any kids, and it is hard for me to form relationships now after the injury.

@GracieT

If you don’t mind sharing; what kind of injury and how?

No. That isn’t a stage of life, but is a stage in some people’s lives brought to them individually for many reasons.

Yes the past 5 years and thank goodness I’m coming out of it .
They called it depression and it really wore me out , everyday, every second and now I’m doing better and better everyday . Though some days are still a little tough !

+ up

I’ve only had a 3 friendships my whole life where I felt like we really got one another. I’ve had complications like having a complete breakdown and not being very sociable. I couldn’t be a good friend through that time.

In other times I found it hard just finding people who share the same interests I do.

So, when I do find someone I click with I hold onto them for dear life.

Yes. I like to call this “everything from 1971 until some time in the future”. I am terrible at making friends. I’m really only good with people online, so I didn’t even start having friends until I was in high school and online almost all the time (and at great expense). Whether those count as “real friends” is open for debate.

I have acquaintances and co-workers, but no one I truly consider a friend.

I appreciate all of your replies. I have a few responses I would like to make but I am very busy at the momment. I will get back to you as soon as I can!

@raven860 well I moved away from all my friends to live in the same town as my boyfriend…I don’t regret it, I love it here, but for some reason I’ve just been really awkward socially lately….and somewhere in the mix I became too dependant on my boyfriend as my best friend and my whole world and forgot that when he’s not here, it sucks to be totally alone. But I’m making progress. I guess it’s not that I have no friends, it’s just that they’re far away. And for some reason, I now feel really weird asking my coworkers and other aquaintances to hang out for the first time…

@deni Don’t be shy, go ahead and ask. You’re awesome, and I am sure all your coworkers think so. Honestly, the hardest time is when you arein your 20’s and many of the people around you have very young kids. Young kids make it hard for people to socialize.

@deni Don’t feel weird about asking your coworkers and others to hang out for the first time. As one who has moved many, many, many times, people do realize moving to a new area can take some adjustment. They may be waiting for you to ask.