When did hugging become the greeting of choice for so many?

I really don’t know but I wish it would go away. I’m tired of people getting offended when they try to invade my personal space and I put a hand up or take a step back. I probably don’t think you’re gross or anything, dude, I just really hate to be randomly touched. Ugh.

Hugging, especially male to female, sometimes takes the place of a handshake. It’s just a form of greeting.

I come from a family of huggers. No, I do not hug strangers that are men. I shake their hand. Hugging a person can have many meanings. I was once told that if a male hugs a woman for more than 5 seconds, that he is flirting with her. Where did this come from? Who knows.

Although I do not hug trees. I have been known to hug many people, especially those that have lost a loved one. This just comes with the territory in law enforcement.

After 67 years of hugging, I have yet to have one person complain.

@john65pennington Thank you so much for a great answer. I just want to be sure for all to know that this shouldn’t be taken as a comlaint. Hugging’s not my thing, for sure. If it is your thing, that’s great. Variety is the spice of life and all that jazz. I just see it more and more often, as am sure many do, and am just a touch perplexed by this. And if I had to actually stay in that tree house thing and hug a stranger (if I were in the middle, I would not have left and stayed and beared it for I didn’t want to ruin anybody elses fun who actually enjoys that sort of thing) my heart rate would have been closing in on the four digit per minute area and their wouldn’t be enough mops at that arboretum to clean up the sweat left behind. This would happen if it were a male, or even a hot female whose body my arm would have been required to wrap around. I just hope she wouldn’t be insulted with absolutely no eye contact between us.

Again, I’m not judging or criticizing anyone who does enjoy this sort of thing (there were close to 1,000 participating in this tree hugging event) but am more curious about this pop-cultural custom.

Lol….At best they get “Hi”...If they are lucky they get a handshake…If they try to hug me…Their health would in danger I absolutely hate being touched by random people…especially if they insist…. But fortunately no-one has tried as of yet…

Hugging is great if it’s a spontaneous, heartfeltI and mutually agreeable gesture. When it’s scripted, as in the “tree-hugging” episode, insincere, or imposed, it’s an abomination.

Boundaries are tricky. On one level, it’s important to recognize that yes, fundamentally we’re one big family and all our personal boundaries are relative and permeable. But those boundaries still serve an important social function. Pretending that they don’t matter isn’t realistic.

Each person needs to be in control of their own boundaries and set their own rules for when they can be crossed. Someone may decide to be very liberal with their own boundaries and let in all comers. That’s great. But you can’t just impose that same standard on everyone else. For some people, it almost seems like a public proclamation of how open and free they are with their love. That carries a passive-aggressive message that if you don’t play along, then you must be some cold, withered soul. Yuck.

There are worse pathologies than over-hugging, for sure. But for the sake of preserving the true meaning of real, sincere hugs, let’s not overdo it.

@john65pennington GA

I come from a family of huggers and although I do not usually hug strangers, it is not out of the question, because I have such a strong since of empathy and can detect immediately when someone is hurting. You never know how an act of affection can change someone’s day usually for the better so I’m willing to take the risk.

I think it all started with Leo Buscaglia. He was always pushing hugging. Not that I mind, but it is epidemic at the middle school. You’d think these kids hadn’t seen each other in months, but it’s usually since the midmorning break.

Personally, I like it amongst friends and family, I don’t hug people I hardly now.

Where I live everyone around my age hugs, pretty much. Not to strangers, but greeting people you know even if you don’t know them so well, is common. Handshakes are a bit awkward, for whatever reason. Some will use a ‘nice-to-meet-you’ hug.

In my personal family, my mom’s side is a mostly a bunch of huggers, my dad’s side not so much, so I’m used to both.

There’s different kinds of hugs, that all mean different things. A few:
The I’m-just-being-polite hug, which is quick and a weak hold;
The hey-buddy, arms out as they walk towards them, sometimes accompanied with a pat on the back if you’re just that special;
The are-you-okay-? where they squeeze you and rub your back a bit;
The I-really-missed-you where they pull you close and hold on for a bit;
The congratulatory-hug, long and tight and usually accompanied by jumping or spinning or something if they’re the exhuberant type;
The casual-we’re-friends hug, which is a very spontaneous sideways hug;
The let-everyone-know-we’re-friends where they hold onto you in a sideways hug.
The surprise!-my-close-friend where they come from behind to hug you—you’re closer still if they stay like that.

The closer you are to the person, the closer your head gets to their shoulder. The less you know them, the higher you raise it, looking out.

Ahaha—I gues with the increase in hugging comes and increase in the subtleties of the hugs. A lot is said.

Me, I don’t mind physical proximity so long as it’s not intended to reach me emotionally in any way. Hug me just stay out of my mind.

But there are ways, I found, to deter. If you can read when the person is still deciding to hug you, or just about to move to hug you, slightly lean or step back, or look at them blankly or something. Anything to very slightly say a pre-emptive “no thanks” with your body. Something small and natural-feeling. Not mean, just not inviting. They should pick up the cue and, to avoid feeling awkward themself, not hug. It’s worked for me when I’m not in the mood, or find the person irritating for whatever reason.
Maybe it’ll help?

Wow all the things I’ve learned from living in a huggy place… I didn’t even realize

@DancingMind That’s really good advice for deterring hugs, I think, but my personal problem with it is I can never read if a person is trying to decide to hug me. I’m just never looking for it. Until they’ve actually gone through with it, it never occurs to me that they might even try because why would you do that? Despite years and years of it happening, it still surprises me every time when people voluntarily step into others’ personal space.

I’m a hugger, just quick hugs so you know I care about you, so obviously not with strangers,

It started out as a Euro thing, didn’t it?

I don’t really know. I’m not okay with this. In Russia, we give nods. I prefer it that way.

@KatetheGreat Here’s noddin to ya :)

@woodcutter Thanks! nods back

Just read this on Slate.