How would you re- write computer error messages so that they are clearer and maybe even witty?

On my first computer, I changed all the sounds it made to appropriate sounds from famous movie computers or robots.
On start-up
Closing Windows
Critical Error

I also had messages from C3PO, Data, and the robot from Lost In Space.

@filmfann ROFL!!

For me, it would be from “Internet: no access”, to
“The damn wireless is acting up again; give him a 10 sec time out in unplugged, will you?”

And maybe from “unexpected crash”, to
“If you didn’t open up so many windows, lady…”

Ha ha ha ha! Awesome both of you!

You’re fucked!!

A bit of honesty

404 not found. Try 405 instead.

Along these lines, I’ve always appreciated Windaz for Australians.

I can’t find the damn thing. Let me look in your underwear.

Someone put together error-message haiku once, which I thought was clever. Don’t remember what used it, though.

:) @Nullo!

@Nullo IIRC those error messages are from the Jargon File.
Btw there is an OS called “Haiku”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku_(operating_system).

“You have fucked up, once again. Call the geek.”

“Your toast is burned, try again.”