Is it too soon to assume he can't hold a deep conversation?
I met a guy through a mutual friend about a week ago. Due to me being kind of shy when we exchanged numbers we texted instead of called each other. I wanted to feel him out first in fear of awkward silences. Well, we texted for several hours back and forth as if it were chat. We hung out Saturday for the first time and had so much fun!
I wanted to start talking on the phone but I developed a sore throat and completely lost my voice. So I’ve been unable to talk for 3 days now! Sunday we went skiing and snowboarding even though I couldn’t talk but had fun interacting with eachother.
He’s cute, a good guy, my friends that know him talk highly of him, and he’s adventurous. It bothers me that we have yet to have a deep conversation. You know? The kind where you get really into and you can talk about everything no matter how weird haha.
But then again, we’ve only known each other for a week, hung out twice, and yet to talk on the phone (though we’ve been texting every night for hours). I guess we’ll see when I get my voice back..
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11 Answers
Have you figured out what his interests are? Everyone has an area of interest that they enjoy discussing. Try finding his. What are his hobbies? What does he collect and why? Does he volunteer anywhere? If he had a million dollars but could not spend it on himself or friends what would he do with it?
Oh and yes- a week is far too early to decide he is incapable of holding a deep conversation.
Yeah, he’s really into active things like snowboarding which I find very interesting. He is into cars which I’m not into. We have yet to discuss things about our past, stories, families, etc.
It sounds like a series of circumstances that have kept you from having a deeper conversation. Why not tell him that you want a chance to do that in the near future?
Could be he is waiting until you can talk before having a “deep conversation”...... Texting is a *%$# form of communication
Yeah, give it time, everything seems to be great for now, sounds like.
I agree with the others, give it some time and see what happens once you are able to have an actual conversation with him (that doesn’t involve texting).
Most deep talks I have with people aren’t planned, they just happen. Sometimes with larger spaces than a week, even with people that I’ve known for almost 10 years. Just wait, you’ll be going through some odd topics that link together more loosely than Wikipedia surfing before you know it. =D
Too soon, in this case. If there’d been a bunch of chances to have deeper conversations over the course of the week and it still didn’t happen, then I’d probably be wrinkling my nose and inching away if I were you. But your circumstances have been crap, and you said the not-so-deep conversations have been fun, so I think you should give it some more time.
Good luck! :D
There’s not reason to have deep conversations the first week you know someone. Don’t worry about it until you can actually speak. Deep conversations can come months from now and it won’t be too late for them.
Is there anything to have a deep coversation about? Some people are more “in the moment” than others… are you by chance trying to project a former boyfriend’s characteristics onto this guy?
Haha, I was able to talk to my ex about everything but I was also able to talk about everything with a couple other people who I wasn’t dating.
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