Which is more important: family or friends?

Hmmm. Your family is still your family i guess, but i would pick my friends if they were the only ones supporting me. I would try and sort things out with my family though. =]

It sounds a bit harsh – that they want you to die that is. Something must have made them think that too. Maybe it’s not all their fault?

i would just choose myself, in the end, your own mind and soul is the only thing you can trust

I agree with iwmoto. Love yourself first. But I am assuming u are young still living and relying on your parents or family that is. So its tough. But you should do your best to have a good relationship with them. If not when you get older u may regret

“Friends are the family you choose”

First off, to me my family is my pillar of strength and I know that I can always count on them to help me through any problems that I have on any subject. I’m sorry that you’re feeling your family is trying to push you away… and I would suggest trying to work that out because a supportive family is all-important (to me).

Friends are great too. I know sometimes there are things you can share with your friends that you’re certain your family doesn’t want to hear or you just don’t want to tell them. The unfortunate aspect of friendship is that it can end (I hate to be pessimistic, but it’s true). For this reason I would have to side with my family. But don’t get me wrong, friends are really important to have too. I think it’s situation dependent.

@missbabyboo judging by this and your other questions, it sounds like there are some major underlying problems here that probably won’t be resolved on a question and answer site. You may almost be better off talking with someone to get through some of your problems. I know I speak for most other Flutherites in that we don’t like to see a fellow-Flutherer down.

@hollister0221:
im sorta not living wiht my parents..i live with my older sis who i do not get along with at my parents house..my parents moved somewhere else..im like supporting myself right..food and money all on me by myself..they dont give me any and im barely in high school

@adrianscott:
thank you

wow sounds like skid row. I’m very sorry for you inconviences in life. Number one keep trough keep your head straight and please do your best in school

@hollister0221:
thank you and i am doing my best in school right now..well or at least trying =P

well at this point in your life. I believe that is all your focus and attention should be on. I know you were asking Q about guys. Hey all I can say and I’m sure other ladies out would tell you is forget them for some time. Focus on you. If a guy does come into your life he has to be willing to be patient with you a share your time with your a schooling

sorry for the typos. I’m still getting used to typing on this iphone

I think the question frames your answer, and in this case in a way that I wouldn’t choose to have it be framed. By asking an either or, the questions assumes that your family and your friends are two separate entities. While this is often true, it isn’t always the case, is it?

just a thought..

I agree evan. Why separate the two. Why choose. Cuz I general both should ultimatly care what’s best for you. But however, what is best for you can and should only be decided by you

I understand where ur coming from. My dad’s fam is cruel, harsh, hateful, & deceiving, & in that case, I would absolutely choose my closest & dearest friends. But when one feels such an intense void, the only one that can replace that missing love is God. I’m so deeply sorry 4 ur unfortunate predicament, & I wish u the best of luck & may God bless u n all u do.

This is one of the most hardest question i’ve had to answer on fluther.

Me personally would have to say family, 1. Because they give you shelter, 2. Food, 3. Virtually anything you want lol, 4. And the last one, they simply love you and will never stop.

Even though friends are the people you can trust have a great time with ect, you can also do all these things with family!

Me personally is going for family

people in your life that love & support you & whom you can depend on is what is important. The biology of who those people are is irrelevant. I think it is typically your family but there are those circumstances that you described when your bio family is just too toxic & it is healthier to disconnect with them.

@missy not too pile on but I agree with much that has been said above. Focus on your education, it is what will most benefit you in the future. You might want to consider getting a mentor to help guide you through some of the difficult choices you are being forced too make at such such a young age. If you’re hooking up be safe.

Good luck sweetie. One of my best friends grew up in a similar situation & she has made a wonderful family herself. You will too!!!!

family

I’d say friends, because family will use you, and you’re obligated to be used, or they’ll turn on you. but you’re obligated not to turn away. With friends, it’s temporal, no matter what. I also prefer to choose the people I’m around, which is why friends are better.

Can’t they be the same thing? Mine basically are.

Stay close to those who care the most and genuinely have your best interest at heart. Those people might not be blood relatives but it doesn’t matter either way. Keep your distance from anyone who treats you poorly or unjustly – family or not. Remember that sharing a gene pool doesn’t give anyone the right to treat you poorly. At the end of the day, your biological family is still just a bunch of regular people (and sometimes people do messed up things). There’s no need to allow them to be in your life just because you’re related. Your true family will be made up of whoever you choose – friends and anyone else who loves and supports you. I can tell you from experience that what you’re going through isn’t easy, but it’s completely possible to succeed in life. Be strong, surround yourself with positive people…and most importantly, ask for help and direction from the people who care about you. You’ll need responsible adult advise (even when you think you don’t), so take it and make the best of it. Allow others to give their opinions, but stay true to yourself. Don’t let yourself get to distracted by the current family-related stresses in your life. It’s terribly unfortunate, but there’s more in your life than family problems. School should be #1…keep going and stay focused.

I agree with adrianscott . I think you need someone in real life to talk to. Try talking to your school counselor. At your age, you need someone supportive to talk to and if you aren’t getting that from your family, a school counselor can help you find resources to get what you need. Also, If your sister is not feeding you, she is guilty of child abuse or neglect. do your parents know of this situation? Why did you not move with them when they moved? How old are you?

@scamp:
i have talked to a school counselor before but they are no help at all..they would just tell me parents are always right and they love me and all..they just dont really get it or understand..
i did move with my parents but i came back for my education…i am a teenager..im still attending high school

I’m sorry to hear that. What about your firend’s parents? Could you talk about these things to one of them? There has to be an adult who can help you. What do your parents say about this?

i love my best friend like i would my own brother so he is family and my family is always there for me even though ive put all of them through trials and tribulations. i think you should try to love and help everyone if you can. i might give give give to a friend or family member and get nothing in return but at least i can live with myself knowing im a good a person and i tried.

@scamp:
ive never told my friends parents these things because its my own problem.i dont need them to be caring for me because its my own family problem..ive talk to many adults they helped me but none of them can solve this problem. my parents ignore they say theyre good parents and do the best for me but theyre all bullshitting..its like theyre twofaces

Mi familia, homes.

I’m often bothered by how much stock people place in horrible familial relationships. Just because someone bore you, or happens to be in some way related to you, doesn’t excuse them from common human decency. No person is entitled to treat you badly, even those to whom you are related.

Thanks Poser, my sentiments exactly. I fully agree.

depends on your relationship with your family.
family is blood but not all blood ties are strong.
some friends end up being closer than true blood family.
my brother is my blood and I love him. i consider my bestfriend a brother from another mother and i’d take a bullet for him and he would do the same for me. my brother would too but i’d pick my true blood brother over my bestfriend any day.
it’s a hard choice….

missbaby

I had not read this when I was responding to your question about lying.

Family or friends, we need people who truly love us. I have an adopted son. He’s a fabulous man, and he was a fabulous kid, like you. His life is still very affected by not having had good parents from the get-go, and your life will be too. It’s not your fault (I think you know this), but it’s your problem anyway. How can we best help you to solve it?

You know you can talk to flutherers privately if you want to, right? You’re smart to be using this collective the way you have been. Continue. You’re very cool.

depending on the persons, friends and family are equally important. Friends are the Family we choose!

Family. They are yours forever no matter how mad you get at them they can never deny you.Friends will leave your ass in a heartbeat.

If you’re in a fight with your parents or family, they’d probably just say that to make you feel down because they want to win the fight. Family should go first, i agree with bunkin. They’re related to you by blood, will be with you no matter what.

some families don’t deserve your love and only you can be the judge of that. if your family doesn’t treat you like family, but your friends do; the answer is simple. I wouldn’t shut my family out entirely tho. I have a small family…we’ve gone for years without talking due to one thing or another. I’ve learned to let go some of the hurtful stuff and move on. Friends can turn on you too….I lost some good friends recently, when I inheirted some money. Long story. Just goes to show…you never know what may happen in the future to change people.

I don’t think there’s any “right” or “wrong” answer to this question.

I totally disagree with people who happen to dislike their father/mother for wathever reason and then feel immense guilt because “it’s their family”. Just because you are blood-related doesn’t mean you have to ADORE them to bits or pledge your undying loyalty! Friends can be just as important or more important than family and that’s okay.

For me, I don’t really know what’s more important. I only have a few close friends and my family is small and strange. I think I can’t compare because they are so separate and I like them for different reasons.