How would you react to these song lyrics?

reminds me of weird al’s “Angry white boy polka”.
i would probably laugh

I’m not a polka kind of gal, but I’d probably be staring in stunned silence, too. It’s hard for me to find anything humorous in the suicidal refrain. I get that you’re being sarcastic, and maybe that’s the deflating quality to it. The refrain seems too harsh up against the “easier” lyrics that precede it, in my opinion. Guess I’m not much fun at the polka party.

@picante When you said ‘The refrain seems too harsh up against the “easier” lyrics that precede it, in my opinion’, that is exactly what we were going for there. There was another verse where the fast food drive-thru got the order wrong (with predictable results). Was trying to find the biggest overreaction to the smallest of lifes problems. You got the fun. You would be fun at a polka party!!!

This song makes me want to commit suicide. Hahahahahaha, just kidding. Ummm, I think the suicide thing is a little heavy. Lighten it up a little bit and either make that line a little less blunt.

Then, you’re a master lyricist, @12Oaks, and I’ll expect an invite to the next polka-fest!

If you ever revise the lyrics, I do think you can achieve that goal of “biggest overreaction to the smallest problems” by taking a funnier slant on the suicide option (if suicide can be funny). Something like—“I would hang myself, but I’m already at the end of my rope.” Wrong cadence and length, but you get my drift.

@picante Oh, sure, and I do appreciate the input and honest critique. I hadn’t played in a band since my daughter was born over 5 years ago, so really no need to edit that dead, if you will, song. Was just thinking about it at work today and thought I’d send it to the Fluther and get their input. I still do play it on occasion on my own for fun, but since my daughter was born, we been having a ball singing “The Poop In the Pants Song.” Not a polka. LOL

Err, i’ll get my coat…...taxi! ;¬}

I love to polka, but if that was the song, I think I’d stop dancing too. I think people who polka are more upbeat than that and suicide is definitely a downer. Congratulation though, on singing the lyrics so your audience can understand them!

I’d chuckle at it, and I’d probably crack up laughing if I saw the crowd’s reaction you describe. Drinking, binging and other bodily abuse is how people kill themselves slowly and in denial, so calling a fig a fig and singing about it, well, I guess you found out how people react! Laugh! :-) Good job; people reacted to your music!

120aks I always laughed as a kid at the Too Fat Polka, maybe because I came from a family of string beans, lol.
“I don’t waner, you can haver, she’s too fat for me, she’s too fat for me, she’s too fat fer me”you get the idea

@Earthgirl Not only do I get the idea, but it was on the set list. I did find it funny that, almost every time, all the heavier woman (or most, anyway, and some skinnies) would hit the dance floor and just shake it until it hurt, and the guys seemed to love that. When in the band you’d always want to smile and act happy, regardless of what’s going on, but this truly put a smile on my smacker.

I don’t like the lyrics. I can think of no good reason to write a song saying you’ll just commit suicide. Either you want to entertain or you don’t. This doesn’t do it for me.

If you want lyrics with heavy drama, write an opera next time.

Reminds me of country music.

Both are in the suicide music category.

I’d offer you and your co-conspirators plenty of encouragement.