Why don't more same-sex couples get married in Canada (or another country that allows it)?

Unless you are in Massachusetts, it would still not be legally recognized. That is part of the problem.

That is, if they are looking for it to be legally recognized in the US. I think it’s still only Massachusetts that recognizes same-sex marriages. Otherwise, it’s still not considered a legal marriage in the US. They are still at square one.

I bet it has more to do with legalities than anything. Some states don’t recognize even gay marriages from other jurisdictions. So if it isn’t recognized at home, what’s the point when you could just have a non-legal ceremony at home that also isn’t recognized by the state?

Because what’s the point of getting married in a civil ceremony if your marriage isn’t legal, or civilly recognized, where you live?

@cak I could have sworn that the US, by law, recognizes all marriages created in another country (assuming it was legal there). So if you got married to 3 women in a country that recognizes polygamy, it’s still a legal union here.

@MyNewtBoobs

“I could have sworn that the US, by law, recognizes all marriages created in another country (assuming it was legal there).”

I suspect that with the DOMA still in place, the US still doesn’t recognize any same-sex marriages, although Obama’s refusal to continue defending the DOMA is a positive development.

However, I bet iamthemob knows more about this than I do.

@MyNewtBoobs: I’m going to have to disagree, without a source, just instinct. I can’t google right now…getting ready to put a kid to bed.

@MyNewBoobs:

link

This document points out that marriages will only be recognized in the states where same-sex marriage is actually legal.

@MyNewtBoobs Nope. My father got married to a woman in china and the U.S. didn’t recognize it until over a year later (AND they had to file marriage papers in the U.S. to make it recognized here). And that’s a man/woman union.

DOMA forbids recognition of any marriage that is not between a man and a woman by the federal government. So – no, we’re screwed.

Trust me, don’t you think that we would have done that already?

@iamthemob I thought DOMA was just between the states, not international. Huh.

Nope. It sets the federal definition of marriage.

Weird, yes – because it’s a federal definition of marriage, which has been the province of the states until, you know, the point of DOMA.

I didn’t read everyone else’s response so this may have already been said, but as a same sexer I don’t see the point of getting married in another country or state only to come back to your own country or state and have it be a fairy tale with regards to the legality and legal protections you would have. We pay for over 1100 benefits via our taxes etc. that we are never afforded access to why waste more money taking a trip and paying for a ceremony that means nothing on a legal level when we get back home? I can play pretend here in my own country in my back yard and get the same result without spending money on anything but a new outfit and the alcohol/food for the party afterward. LOL

People don’t always just get married so they can say they are married – things go along with it like legal protections with regards to inheritances, medical choices, child custody etc. and if the country/state you live in looks at all of it as just a pretend game then why waste your time? Getting married and then coming home trying to act as if it is real is similar to me to a little kid playing dress up – pretend marriages aren’t gonna help you when you need equal protection or religious freedom under the law. It could mean the world emotionally but that doesn’t make it real on a legally functioning level.

The US (aside from states that have already legalized gay marriage) does not recognize marriages that don’t abide by it’s particular standards no matter what country or state the marriage occurs in. In some other countries people are afforded multiple wives but when those people move to this country all of those wives don’t have legal protection – only the first wife is recognized with regard to taxes, medical choices and so forth. The federal definitions of marriage are the standard and though many states accept marriages from one state to the next their fall back is their own state’s legal definition of marriages. I remember reading a story about someone who had legally married in their state of residence and then later moved to TX and as residents there they filed for a divorce. The state of TX refused to deal with the case because to do so would be to create a legal loophole & precedent where they would have to legally recognize the marriage. So that couple was trapped in a weird limbo where they couldn’t file for divorce in their old state as they were no longer residents and couldn’t in their new state due to the laws there.

I have many LGBT friends from other countries where they were legally married and yet here they have no legal rights – One of my friends who is from here but got married out of the country to a foreigner ended up going through drama getting citizenship for the foreigner when with straight couples it would’ve been a matter of some paperwork and a few interviews. Then to make matters worse after they were together for 14+ years with children together, the American one had a medical emergency – even though her partner had power of attorney paperwork the American woman’s estranged mother was able to convince the hospital to keep her partner away. By the time the legal system had addressed the case it was too late and her partner was gone having suffered in the hospital without her life partner & in a way that was contrary to her final wishes.

@Jenniehowell I was under the impression that if you got married in Canada or another country, that would be a way to circumvent DOMA.

@MyNewtBoobs nope – just like getting married in another country doesn’t afford you legal marriage rights for multiple wives it doesn’t afford you rights regarding same sex marriage. My brother and his wife got married in Mexico but just to seal the deal they got married in the US first. No matter if you are hetero or homo there are no guarantees that your marriage will be recognized by your own country. At least if you are hetero you have a better chance but until the federal law is changed and the supreme court backs it up – homosexuals will not have equal protection under the law with regard to religion and marriage. (I say religion because I am Pagan and according to my religious beliefs homosexual marriage is ok, but I am not permitted in this country to abide within my own religious standards with regards to marriage because in this country the Abrahamic religions seem to take precedence with regards to marriage)

The link @cak already provided is a good starting point reference Here it is again http://www.glad.org/uploads/docs/publications/canada-marriage-faq.pdf

In fact the purpose/design of DOMA was so that individual states could have the right to refuse recognition of marriages that happened in another state as well as to further cement the federal definition of marriage to be between one man and one woman.

“The [DOMA] act is divided into two major sections. The first section deals with authority given to the states, and says, “No state, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other state, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other state, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.”

The second section provides a federal definition of marriage as an institution between one man and one woman, with the word “spouse” referring only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or wife.”

reference: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/law/gay_marriage/act.html

Aside from not having that marriage legally recognized in their own country or state, I’m sure there are plenty of couples who’d rather stay unmarried as kind of a protest until same sex marriage is recognized where they call home. Married people enjoy some benefits other than social.

@cak: A few states have gay marriage, including most of New England. New York also recognizes it from elsewhere, but won’t perform it themselves. It actually has strong popular support in New York, but the political system is so dysfunctional that it hasn’t been able to pass yet. (New York is odd. Probably the most tolerant and open-minded state, besides maybe Massachusetts, but also far and away the most dysfunctional.)

All told, you could probably gay marry elsewhere and move to any of 7 states: New York, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, and I guess still Iowa, Maine, and New Hampshire. A Republikan/Teabagger backlash might overturn it in the latter three states though, if it didn’t already.

@bolwerk – Interestingly, I’m pretty sure that NY recognizes marriages performed in Canada as well.

Part of the dysfunction is that we’re kind of like two states – NYC and the proximate counties (part of the New England/Mid Atlantic area) and upstate NY (which, apart from the university areas, is distinctly midwestern.

@iamthemob: Yes, it does. But the only parts of NYS that are kind of midwestern-ish are the far western counties, including most notably Buffalo. (Although I suppose the accent is more widespread.) The upstate/downstate socioeconomic split is pretty distinct, but I’m not sure the NYC area fits neatly with New England (or the mid-Atlantic region).

@bolwerk: I couldn’t remember the states that still recognized same-sex marriage. I lost track sometime around surgery #3, last year.

The part that I’m thinking would prevent a couple from doing this is the issue of the entire US doesn’t recognize the marriage; which they should, it’s ridiculous. While there are states that recognize this, wouldn’t it become a federal issue – taxes, federal benefits and such? I understand that a single state may recognize it, but nationally; we’re still pretty backwards.

My husband I and I were talking, we probably wouldn’t marry until our entire country recognized our status as a wedded couple. It is sickening to me that in this day and age, we’re still in pretty much the same place. Can’t figure out how the reasoning stands where it does. You love who you love.

@cak: Well, New York does and presumably those other states do recognize them (why wouldn’t they?). There isn’t really any federal recognition of marriage period, except incidental ones, having to do with taxes and entitlements – these are the ones homosexuals can’t enjoy. I think the only other thing the feds say in the matter is that states don’t have to recognize each other’s recognition of gay marriage.

That’s not to say federal discrimination against homosexuality ends there, but I think that’s the extent of marriage discrimination.

@Very true, I really think it comes back to the one feeling I had about this…it may boil down to the fact that same-sex marriage is not recognized the same way as heterosexual marriage. It may come down to the main issue, the fact that it’s 2011 and we’re still trying to legalize same-sex marriage.

If everyone runs off to Canada, or one of the other handful of countries that recognize same-sex marriage, nothing is accomplished here.

Well, we’ve come a long way since 2004, when gay marriage possibly helped propel George McBush to victory. Now there are even polls suggesting a majority of Americans even support gay marriage (which is probably a nicer way of saying they don’t care, but still a positive turnaround).

@bolwerk: Hopefully, we can only go up from this point.

@bolwerk Polls that look like penises…

For a positive note, the last poll I looked at showed an increase in gay marriage acceptance in every state. That’s a step in the right direction in my opinion.
HOORAY!