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Pandora's avatar

Grandparents did you suffer from sleepless nights once the grandkids where born?

Asked by Pandora (32398points) March 4th, 2011

I’ve recently realized that I may not want grandkids any time soon. Both my kids are no where near to having any but in talking to some friends who have grandkids I realized I like my sleep a lot. Something they now seem to lack because they always have some concern over the grandkids. My youngest has moved away a year ago and I realized the it took a while but I’m able to sleep soundly like I was able to when we had no kids. Its back to being all about our relationship like when we were first married and I really like that. We have no real obligations except to each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love our children a great deal but it was always kids first than ourselves. Its nice to be a little selfish again. However, I notice many of our friends seem to have the slipped into being psuedo parents again via the grandkids. My mom would always say, you worry about your kids but worry twice as much once the grandkids are born.
I love children and would like to have them back in my life but I just would like the fun without the constant worry like when I raised my own kids.
So to those who are grandparents. Are you a psuedo parent because your just a natural worrier or does that only happen to grandparents who suffer from empty nest syndrome or is it from lack of faith that your own kids lack parenting skills you feel only you have?

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7 Answers

janbb's avatar

I’m not finding it the same experience at all. My grandson lives about 2 hours away from us now and we see him about once a month. My son and his wife are great, great parents and while I love seeing Jake, I don’t feel I have to think or worry about him all the time. I’m sure if there is ever a problem with him I will be very worried and very involved. Meanwhile, as things are, we are happy to be adjunct parents, not pseudo-parents, who continue to have our full adult lives.

Judi's avatar

Nope! I get all the live, the parents get all the worry. It’s the BEST!

Pandora's avatar

Good to know it doesn’t have to be that way. Lately it seems all I know is grandparents who seem to do all the worry as the parents go off to play. And I knew two grandmothers who always seem to be their childrens business all the time since the grand kids where born even though their kids seem to be responsible parents.
I was beginning to think being a grandparent some day my not be so much fun. I know so many that seemed to lose their freedom and peace of mind once they became grandparents.

Judi's avatar

My kids love and hate that I have a life outside of the grandkids.
I love them more than anything, but it’s not my job to parent them. I just get the fun stuff.

Pandora's avatar

@Judi Yep, thats all I want. The fun stuff. My friends were starting to make me wonder if that was ever possible. Maybe it does have more to do with how much people believe in their childrens abilities.

john65pennington's avatar

I am going to love answering this question. Wife and I have three grandchildren. My daughter took off with a website bride to Seattle and left the two grandaughters with us to raise. Needless to say, we had the generation gap of a lifetime. We all learned to adapt and respect each other. My form of punishment came out of the 50s and they could not believe what they were receiving. Standing in the corner and timeout does not work. They both told us so. So, we turned toward the belt as a means of corporal punishment. I did not actually whip them. Just the site of a police belt was enough to keep them in line.

We made it, but I will never go through this ordeal again.

Pandora's avatar

Sorry to hear that. I’m sure you love them like heck but at the same time wish they would hurry up and grow up.

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