Is graverubbing respectfull?

They’re dead. Being respectful is for your own good, not the deceased.

You’re getting a picture of something you consider to be beautiful that they payed way too much to get set upon them to commemorate themselves. A rubbing just extends that commemoration. If they did know you were doing it, it should be taken as a compliment.

I think it is almost indirectly paying homage the the deceased.

Was this person of any relation to you?

@peedub: i wasnt talking about myself. a friend of mine does this a lot. many people are against this, although i dont know why. maybe its because he does a lot of weird things in cemetaries i.e. have sex in them, smoke pot in them, just chill with friends (but not me, im creeped out)

Either way, does he know them? It sound like no. I don’t think it really matters anyway, aka it’s fine. I just wouldn’t be caught doing it when visitors are around, unless he is related, hence why I asked.

no, hes not related. he just likes to do creepy things and follows many gothic criteria. a few words that describes him are “unique”, “oblivious” and “likes to piss of today’s society”.

I don’t see the harm in it aside from it possibly being borderline creepy and it sounds like your friend wants that kind of persona anyway.

Maybe his appearance has something to do with why people are giving him a hard time.

I’ve found that its very very common for the unaccepting of death to make light of it.

i dont think its that. he dresses in black jeans and usually a vintage style t-shirt, and has a few piercings, but dont all younger people dress this way? he teaches an american gothic fiction course, and he has absolutely no problems with death. he tells creepy stories of his childhood about how he would dress in black robes in the middle of the night and have a candle in his hand and his family would send him to counseling. also, he’s in his 30s, 36 to be exact.

When you said ‘weird’ and ‘gothic criteria’ it painted a certain picture in my head. I think what he does sounds cool.
I am, however, listening to Dead Can Dance right now in a room filled with black candles.

@Mtl zack:
Sounds to me like a fairly normal fellow. Let him rub.

I think he’s turning it in to a fantasy, instead of what it is. That sounds like fear to me.
Get him in a morgue for an autopsy and you’ll probably see all that behavior disappear.

that would probably be the best experience of his life.

I don’t think so… if it were he would have already taken a gross anatomy class.

All I can say is N.E.C.R.O.M.A.N.C.E.R.

Peedub, you mean necrophiliac, I think…

Yeah don’t most goth like folks wanna check out dead people anyway? I mean c’mon, its goth for Christs sake….No pun intended.

Maybe, or maybe not.

Truthfully, I don’t hardly ever know what I mean.

Many goths think that they want to check out dead people and most of them completely change that behavior when presented with a corpse.

and I do know what necromancy is, peedub. :p

I know, I just like throwing that word around whenever I get a chance.

Hahahaha, understandable.

Seriously, I’m going back to read up. I’ve been using it for years in the DARK.

I need a nap.

I have a good friend who believe it or not is a mortician and also a HUGE fan of goth. I dunno, he also likes stuffed dead animals and birds.
He also is a fan of NECROMANCER. He lives in Kansas City….I find that weird.

I love taxidermy, I have tons of it. Am I a necro-wizzard?

@delirium: he has an actual human skeleton in his room that he puts in different poses before he goes to bed and wakes up. Its real skeleton though. He also has dead birds and squirrels in his house and also a decorative box with an eye staring out of it. A REAL eye!!

Dude, I want to see the REAL EYE BOX. He should keep his sun glasses in there.
@peedub:Yes you are a necro-wizzard. You now need a van that reads FREE CANDY on the side with stuffed dead German Shepards in the back

That crap is trendy these days. It sucks because now its hard to find.

I have a skeleton. <.<
And plenty of people like taxidermy. Its pretty cool.

actually he should keep a monocal in there. Its only 1 eye.

And an eye patch.

This is what I mean.

just one more creepy thing about him before I go to bed. He came over for a channukah party and dressed up like an ss soldier just in order to contradict modern society. When he entered the door, everyone, especially the older people, ducked under tables. That was extremely innapropriate because it was a Jewish holiday where we celebrate being alive. He just went too far. He learned to not make it that extreme though in the future.

Wow, he sounds like a real character. I hope he wasn’t goose-stepping.

he just wants to contradict everything that modern western society has to say.

If your friend is the sort of person who keeps a real human skeleton as a toy, he’s probably not taking graverubbings as a sign of respect. Whether the dead person knows/cares is a matter of your own personal religious beliefs, but I would err on the side of caution—taking graverubbings to cement your goth cred is disrespectful. And if he’s going to do it, he needs to make absolutely sure that nobody is around, because it could be really hurtful for a relative to see a creepy goth-looking person interacting with a loved-one’s headstone.

As an art historian living and working in England, I find that grave rubbing is an invaluable tool to make a visual record of the inscriptions and images on the stone, especially in very old churchyards. Also, sometimes in historical cemeteries the moss covers the incisions rendering the grave illegible, and the paper and crayon (or charcoal) will pick up the subtleties. Most of the time, I just ask the keeper (it’s a good idea at historical churchyards, not least because sometimes the grave stones are very old and susceptible to damage.