My SO has a family member who is Pentecostal. She believes that gay people are going to hell. What would you say to her (if she kept posting anti-gay stuff from the bible)
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Jude (
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March 12th, 2011
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58 Answers
You betcha. But then, I have a low tolerance for intolerance ;)
(I’ve blocked an uncle who says bigoted, racist things. Oh, I argued publicly and privately with him first, but a mind that closed is toxic, and I refuse to be poisoned.)
“God loves every one of his people and we are not in a position to judge who he will throw in hell…. ” there.“Or
“Who the hell are you to say anything?”
If it’s fb you’re referencing then just delete her posts from your wall. If she brings it up, having noticed the deletions then remind her you like girls more than you like her anti-homo rants, it’s your wall so you’ve decided to keep it friendly for all your friends.
Tell her we all fall short, and it is only by the Grace of God that any of us make it into Heaven.
Yes, even those who are gay.
This is a battle you cannot win. Unless she is mentioning names (in which case it could be libelous), I would no longer bother reading anything she wrote. (I am not familiar with the techniques of receiving or not receiving mail on FB).
Save your breath. Continue to be the admirable and loving person you have always been.
Bigots are rarely convinced by rhetoric.
Nothing. Or break up with my SO if it bugs me that much. Each have opinions and the right to express them even if we disagree.
I would just stop reading, and block her from reading anything of mine. People like that cannot be educated. If my SO was sharing her anti-gay opinions I’d dump the SO too.
@12Oaks “Or break up with my SO if it bugs me that much”
I am asking this on her behalf.
My partner and I are a lesbian couple.
“Bigots are rarely convinced by rhetoric.”
You’re definitely right about that, Gail.
My initial reaction would be to spam some anti-christian songs on her wall, but a more mature approach would be to block her as @downtide said. I’d also ignore her irl. My only intolerance is against intolerance.
If it’s the posting that is bothering you, defriend her. If she wants a response, then you can charitably respond with something like “either we’re all God’s children or none of us are”.
There is no reason to continue being FB friends, or personal friends, with someone whose personal beliefs are so abhorrent. Just explain nicely that since your life is apparently so offensive to her, it’s better for everyone not to subject yourselves to her hatred.
You are not going to change her beliefs. Like Gail said, save your breath.
If she posted directly to my wall, I would consider that aggressive and I would unfriend her and block her. I would also probably say something to her in PM, like “I cannot continue to have you posting anti-homosexual views on my Facebook, so I am unfriending you.
However, if she just posted it on her own wall, she has a right to her opinion and she has a right to put it on her own FB page, so I would just block her stuff from coming onto my page.
Tell her to stop eating shrimp.
Lol…. Bible Thumpers can’t be reasoned with…..If you try reason, or decency you will always lose…..You can win more or less if you fight fire with fire…..or completely ignore them….
I’d just hide her posts from my news feed. There’s so many people out there with off the wall notions. To each their own and all that. You could also prevent her from posting on your wall, without having to de-friend her.
I would tell her that she has a terrible responsibility judging the world and that she best make sure she does it well. Let her know that being God is a hard job and wish her well. I’m sure glad it is not up to me to tell others where they are going.
I have learned that there is no sense in debating with a religious zealot.
I would say that it seems then we will have plenty of time to get to know each other better. ;)
Using facebook posts seems like a very passive-aggressive way of attacking you. Would this person have any hesitation to unfriend you if you routinely posted “Pentacostals are a cult of Satan’s minions!”?
For the record, she posted anti-gay/religious crap on my partner’s uncle’s boyfriend’s Facebook page. He is someone who has AIDS. It was a post on gay marriage (that he put up initially), and she had to come in with the whole Sodom and Gomorrah crap.
I’ve had some success by misunderstanding them. For example, there was someone who posted about preventing that Islamic center from being built in New York. And I said, “Hell Yeah! And then let’s kick out the Catholics! NYC religion free!” Or some such.
No one posted to the thread after that.
@Blueroses That cult thing about the Pentacostals…just a rumor. Sure a lot of people are saying it. A LOT of people. And I heard that FOX did a story on it. But it might not be true.
Not a darned thing.
You aren’t going to change her mind, and attempts to do so are only likely to cause a fight.
Charlie Sheen can make a “porn family”, Kelsey Grammar can end a 15 year marriage over the phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, and Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE. But, same-sex marriage; THAT is going to destroy the institution of marriage! Really?!
Not only that but there are passages in the Bible to suit any taste. According to the old testament, we can own slaves, and can be stoned to death if we do any work on Sunday!
Well, it’s true. If it bothers you, you might ask her to stop.
@6rant6 FOX is a cult of Satan’s tapeworm’s minions
@Nullo We tried. She felt as though people were attacking her.
if she’s so hostile, just unfriend her and block her and don’t spend any more time thinking about her and her negativity. life is too short to let yourself get caught up in someone else’s prejudices.
I would not try to convince her of anything. You aren’t going to change her mind anymore than she is going to change yours to her point of view. Spare yourself the anger and misery of trying.
BUT – I might post something on her wall (before defriending or blocking her) about how if Jesus were around, he would be appalled by her hate, and that if you were her, you would get that hate in check before her final days.
I repeat, from experiece with anti-Semitism, save your energy for things that are good for you.
I’d unfriend her or block her. You will not change her mind, and you don’t need to read stupid stuff. I’ve had to unfriend a few people for racist comments, and for posting trashy comments on my wall about women we work with. I’ve also blocked someone keeps posting Sarah Palin fan club comments; I don’t want to read it.
I have to say in all cases, I don’t miss the contact with the posters. It’s like sticking your fingers in your ears and saying, “LALALALALA I can’t hear you.” Works for me.
@Jude, I would have to say that by her own concept of eternity and judgement, it’s most likely that she’s going to be in for a rude surprise and a warm afterlife. You can’t really improve on that. Somehow she’s missed the “Judge not lest you be judged” lesson. If the family’s into labeling family members, she could be “the mentally unbalanced one” that everyone makes exceptions for because she’s not right in the head.
There are two subjects I never discuss with other people.
One is religion, the other is politics. There is never a good ending.
I suggest you avoid this family member, if at all possible.
This is just what I was referring to, in my first sentence.
An AC/DC lyric comes to mind: “Hell ain’t a bad place to be”
Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that she developed her ideas based on reason, so reason isn’t going to change her attitude.
How about “I would rather enjoy people as they are, rather than find excuses to condemn them.:”
I don’t think you should allow the remarks to stand, because silence can imply that you consent to the ugly remarks.
Dig up a bunch of biblical quotes promoting acceptance and such. That, or all that silly shit in Leviticus keeping people from planting multi-vegetable gardens, wearing polyester, eating rare steak, and associating with rabbits and such.
Here is a comeback to tell her, “I guess since your perfect you get to cast the first stone”, and if she doesn’t get it and does think too much of herself use this, “God’s not going to judge you till the end of your days, so why do you feel like you have the right to judge me”. To anything else she says, say “thats up to your God not you.” Hopefully some of this will be talking her language and provoke some thought on her part.
Take a look through The List…..Lots of interesting little tidbits…lol
Better yet, post the list on her wall!
Wow. In looking at the The List, I’m seeing a great board game in the making, where you try to move forward to heaven, but each turn you draw a card and if it’s a good thing, like “love your neighbor as yourself” you move forward, but if it’s bad, you move backwards. So while you’re trying to get to heaven, you end up in hell, because of “the list”.
You could remind her that being a lesbian hasn’t given you memory problems i.e. you heard her the first time. She can move on to saving other souls, maybe from that devil’s jazz music or somesuch.
I would defriend her and not acknowledge her existence unless she came to me first and it was completely unrelated to the obnoxious things she’s posting on her wall. It’s not worth it.
Where does she post this ”‘stuff.” You should be able to ignore her; that’s what we adults do. If she confronts you personally then you can decide whether to discuss it or simply tell her it’s none of her business. If you are talking about Facebook, I would simply block her—end of problem for me.
@Jude
“For the record, she posted anti-gay/religious crap on my partner’s uncle’s boyfriend’s Facebook page.”
Does your partner ever see her cousin’s cerebral stools on her Facebook page (if your partner has one)?
Do you think your partner would rather have a rebuttal to her cousin’s crap or just completely avoid her?
Sadly, intolerance is almost like it’s in our genes. I’m not homosexual, and I’m deeply religious, but out of the MANY (military, stationed in different places) churches I’ve been to, only one had preached on a level where they pretty much wanted to start a witch hunt for homosexuals. I’d de-friend her in an instant, and let them know that is they wanted to slander online, they should do it in the persons face.
Then I’d make a air shot motion and go “BOOM, IN YO FACE!!!” lol
@Jude I don’t think it’s fair to call Fox News the devil. The devil at the least has spell check.
Pretty sure the devil could find Egypt, too, which is a skill that eludes anyone at Fox News.
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