Is it ok for two gay partners to have a gay roommate?

It depends how much you trust your partner. If you honestly trust that he wouldn’t cheat, then yeah, why not have another roommate?

If your partner is going to cheat on you, it won’t matter whether there’s another guy living in your place. Someone who wants to cheat will find someone to cheat with.

Three could share an apartment. It’s been done many times before.

I think you should let his friend stay, people can have perfectly platonic friendships, even with attractive people.

Talk it over with your partner and see if you can get the reassurance you need that he won’t cheat. Are you so sure that physical appearance is that much of a lure to him? If you don’t feel safe with it, then maybe it shouldn’t happen.

It certainly can work out if all 3 of you discuss the situation (together and separately with the potential roomate) kind of mapping out the arrangement and discussing expectations. I would be very frank with your boyfriend and let him know that you feel a little bit insecure about this whole situation, but you would like to give it a try and that you hope he is being honest with you about his feelings (just friends) with the potential roomate.

There should probably be some limits set up ahead of time like not walking around the house in a towel in front of the roomate (and suggesting that he doesn’t do that in front of either of you) and that the roomate doesn’t go into your room unless both you and your boyfriend are home and think it’s ok. You just don’t want to set up potential situations in which things could ever get flirty or out of hand due to drinking, and have anyone misinterpret anyone else’s actions. It’s not that much different when a straight couple takes in a roomate who is a friend of one of the couple. It can work out very nicely, if you make everything clear up front.

I would do it – short term. There should be guidelines established prior to him moving in, including a maximum amount of time he can stay while looking for another place.

Yes, rules exactly like what @Kardamom just posted above.

If you could use the extra rent money and it will help the friend out, I say give it a try. The worst thing that can happen is your boyfriend cheats on you with him- but if your boyfriend has it in him to cheat on you he is going to eventually do it anyway. So, why delay what may be inevitable? I purposely put guys I dated in situations where they could cheat if they wanted because if they would I wanted to know. What good is someone who is faithful only because you kept him out of sticky situations?

@BBSDTfamily You are so right! And you are also much braver than most people to actual let your boyfriend be in the path of temptation, but you are so right about finding out whether you’ve got a cheater right away and/or finding out that you’ve got a great non-cheating boyfriend who avoided temptation. Yea for your answer and tons of lurve!

Do you think that he will cheat on you if you don’t have the roommate? The worst that could happen is that because you are away, they develop a close friendship, and have inside jokes that you’re not a party to. Is the friend dating anyone right now?

I would be more concerned that if the guy is having a hard time with money, it might be easy to let him slide. Work out some sort of roommate contract, so you’re not stuck with the guy if you need him to leave. You and your partner aren’t responsible for this guy, but you could become responsible if you’re not careful.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

If he wants to cheat on you,he will whether or not there is anyone living there.You either trust him or you don’t.

I lean towards don’t do it.

Of course it’s okay – your insecurity is the problem here. As others have pointed out, he’d cheat anyhow regardless of roommates if he is the cheating kind.

I understand your apprehension (I dont know if being a part of the gay community has anything to do with that) and I would probably be just as cautious, regardless of how many times either of them swore nothing was, is, or will be going on (maybe because I’ve been situations before where both friend and partner swore that absolutely nothing ever happened and I’ve went on to find “text message” evidence that they were both absolutely lying to me w/ a straight face). In this particular situation however, as already voiced, your partner would cheat regardless if he had it in his heart and therefore if you trust him, it shouldn’t be an issue. Still, this wouldn’t sit well with me, I wouldn’t like my partner under any amount of tension or temptation (if any).

Doing my best to separate my biased experiences from the question, perhaps the friend is in genuine need of help and would really appreciate the place to stay. On the other hand, how long exactly would he be staying and how much would he be giving? Would it cut into your private time? There is the practical aspect of this as well – which, I think, deserves consideration.

If it were me, my place and my lover, “friend” better be either living in a cardboard box or in fear for his life before I’d accept him.

I don’t see why not, if stuff happens- it happens. Unless it forced then that’s another story….