Can you accept yourself just as you are, or are you constantly trying to improve?

@chelle104 : At almost 57 I find I’m more comfortable in my admittedly saggy, chubby skin than I have ever been in my life. I like feeling this way.

It could just be how each individual person is. My whole life, which hasn’t been that much yet, I am forcing myself to not accept myself and try to do more. When I reach the wise age of 60 I may be the same way but I find myself disagreeing right now. I feel like always staying active in learning strives you to new heights. Maybe there really is something you would like to learn but don’t realize it, but who am I to say that?

I also think staying the same would put you into a routine, and I think that’s good for a while but I would find myself getting bored with it after a long while.

@2CDenzy : I may be wrong, but I think the OP was just talking about accepting herself, not stopping the learning of new things.

Nothing wrong with trying to improve. Nothing wrong with being comfortable with yourself either. They are not mutually exclusive.

Oops! I didn’t read the question that way but I think you’re right @JilltheTooth . In that case I always think you should accept yourself, no matter what. Accepting yourself is the first step to everything in my humble opinion.

I accept myself as I am, and fuck what everyone else thinks of me. When I try to improve, I do it for my own benefit, and not that of others.
If you like yourself as you are, then all the power to you. :)

Great responses! I do like learning all that I can…........but I’m ok with me, just the way I am….It leaves me free to take small strides and not be in any hurry! Thanks guys and gals…..

I am who I am and I hope I will always strive to be more than I am now. When I settle down and view my life as I have lived it I want to know that I gave it my all and that I learned to progress my entire life. Thanks for the question…

I accept myself, of course. Anything that I don’t accept are just by-products of screwed up socializations of women in this society.

The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. I can accept myself as a growing, learning, changing being.

I’ve long been dissatisfied with myself, but it’s a pretty specific experience. I have an ideal self that has existed in various forms in my head and on paper—someone who excels at a number of things such as relationships with family and friends, gardening, creativity and artistic pursuits and so on. I was that person for a time as a young adult—at least I was on the path, but probably caved to the inevitable roadblocks (or created them myself, who is to know). Anyway, so for a long time I’ve lived with an unwell/stunted/shadow actual self and have felt that that (now) nebulous ideal self is almost completely inaccessible—like looking up at something from underwater or forgetting the face of someone from your past. It’s difficult and miserable at times.

Another analogy is the feeling that I missed my train a long time ago and have had no clue how to decide what to do next.

Anyway—poor me. So, while I bought it a long time ago, I recently realized I probably could benefit from reading the book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, which theorizes (with research and brain imaging to back it up) that (chronic) negative mental states and perceptions such as mine are the result of overactive/underactive imbalances in particular areas/systems of the brain. The whole paradigm seems to have significant traction both relative to my personal experience and to many of the concepts that anyone who has experienced depression/anxiety in the last few decades (such as the once ubiquitous chant of “chemical imbalances”).

I’m anticipating this doing some good and looking forward to feeling more in the flow with the things my ideal self embodies.

there’s actually some psychological term for one’s perpetual dissatisfaction with self, but I don’t remember it, and it’s too difficult to find at the moment

I accept myself as I am, but there’s always room for improvement. Right now, because of my circumstances, I’m trying to be even more patient than I normally am. I now have to work on things that seem to be slipping such as cooking. I love to cook, but I’m finding it harder to do things that I used to do automatically. So I slow down and try not to be distracted. I’ve given up thinking it has to be perfect, but I keep trying because that’s how I’d like it to be. I don’t intend to stop trying to do better until I’m 95, if I live that long.

I’m always trying to be better.

No, that’s not wrong.

One should always accept who they are because you cannot change what has happened. But you can now begin to examine your view of the world around you and create what you need to progress in the direction one wants to go. We really are perfect beings but our past history is something we cannot change. One can only help create a better future.

The latter. I am constantly wanting to improve but not always making efforts to. What does it feel like to accept yourself completely? Must be like crawling into a warm featherbed.