Help - where did my nooks and crannies go?

SENTIENT DROID PHONES.

They’re behind everything like this.

Seriously. They send a message to the toaster saying “dude, don’t defrost that muffin” because they know it’s going to make you weak and hungry if you can’t eat it. IT’S HOW THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, MAN. They’ll wear us down and then when we’re too weak to press the “Off” button…. we’re doomed.

I don’t know you very well, but I must say that you have beautiful nooks and crannies.
Sounds like you need a Do Over!

@janbb Have you considered and got out the electric drill or router to fix that ? ? ?

Perforate it with a fork. Some of the lesser English muffins require you to do this all the time.

Fork it?

Use a hypodermic needle to insert butter. Eat as sandwich.

I pull them apart before I freeze them. I can just take one out, break the frost connection and throw them in the toaster. It takes a little longer to cook, but you avoid the depredations inflicted by the microwave. Which boils out the water, essentially freeze drying the muffin, which makes it cave in on itself.

Cut them apart with a serrated knife!

Read ” Who moved my cheese.”

You may re-title it ” Who moved my nooks & crannies.”

One must be prepared for inevitable change.

Don’t cry over lost nooks and crannies. lol

I just realized this was a “mirth and silly” question and I blew it. IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY IN THE MORNING! Take the little muffin to a plastic surgeon, dear. He’ll restore the nooks and crannies so that it will be delectable again.

Your nooks and crannies have been taken to a secure location. CIA

@janbb: Sorry, I think you are out of luck!

An undisclosed location. You may find Dick Cheney already there.

Your nooks and crannies fell into my plaid pants.

@WillWorkForChocolate
LOL

@Coloma
WHAT? bob_’s in there too. Somewhere…

Well, these things have a habit of drying up as you get older you know? Ahh…..wrong end of the stick again.

I managed to fork it hard but I’m lurving all your suggestions too!

I’m sorry, but “Fork it hard!” sounds so dirty. Perhaps it’s just me…

There is never a double entendre that I didn’t entend. Just sayin’

Okay, I’m glad to know it’s not because my mind is stuck in the gutter today.

I’m thinking that right about now we should start bashing the mods, for no good or apparent reason.

I may never look and an English Muffin the same way again!

My plan is succeeding then: X-,rated English Muffins, English Muffin snuff films, Debbie Does !English Muffins, Top of the Muffin to You!

@blueiiznh Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

Don’t you just hate the new Fluther?

Stop touching my muffin, it makes me uncomfortable.

@janbb I do hate the new fluther, I’m only here for the pancakes.

@cak a good thing, but I just got kicked out of the grocery store for it.

English muffins and pancakes – now that would be a Breakfast of Champions!

@blueiiznh Do we need to collect bail money?

I want to know what @blueiiznh did to the muffins in the grocery store.
Do we need a NSFW warning?

I haven’t had much luck with any kind of English muffin…

If you know what I mean, @janbb.

Indeed I do (sends a friendly hug to Austin.)

@wilma news at 11. I didn’t know you couldn’t fondle fluffy fresh muffins in public.

@Austinlad
LOL

@janbb Diving on MUFFINS.

Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin maaaaan….

Another great profession gone obsolete, along with goose herding.

Forget about your nookless muffin and try one of my happy brownies. lol

Who wants to contribute to @blueiiznh‘s bail fund?

(And just what is an @blueiiznh anyway?)

@Coloma Was that you they busted for selling “Herbal” brownies and such on the internet?

@Tropical_Willie

Haha, no, I just make them for my self and to share the happiness with a few close friends.
But, it could be a booming biz. I am sure. lol

@janbb: I’ll contribute and I want to know that answer, too!

I’ll throw in a $10 for @blueiiznh‘s bail, and I’d like to purchase some happy brownies from @Coloma. Oooohhhh….... I wonder if you can make happy muffins? With or without nooks and crannies; I don’t mind either way.

@WillWorkForChocolate

Haha, yes, I do make the BEST happy brownies on the west coast, I am certain of it!
Kinda fun, being middle aged and digressing back to my youth. lol

Pssssst, if I give you my address and send a check, can you fedex me some? teehee

@Coloma mmm brownies

@Coloma screw the muffins and bring out the happy brownies.

I’m starting to suspect there is a thief among us. Someone stole your nooks and crannies! It was probably the same bastard that stole my chocolate. That shit is like xanax for me and I’m getting antsy over here!

@WillWorkForChocolate: Back away from the ledge! We’ll guilt the jelly who stole your chocolate. still working on a plan, but we’ll get the chocolate stealing jelly.

I have a Hershey Kiss, will that help?

I’m not sure. Do you only have the one?

Only one, but I will give it to you.

If you have only the one, I’m afraid there’s no hope. Please scrape me off the frizzer if you find me.

it’s a sad day at Fluther when we can’t rescue a jelly.

I can think of only one person who would steal one’s nooks and crannies: a crooked nanny. Are there any of those around? That’s where to start. Look for one with a muffin top.

@WasCy: excellent!

@WasCy Great idea! They probably have my chocolates too!

We all know it was @WasCy
Trying to lead us astray with the crooked nanny bit, heh…he’s composing his ransom note right now undoubtedly.

Yep, floats like a butterfly but stings like a bee. ;-)

They took away my chocolate question, because “it wasn’t really a question”. I’m even more depressed now.

Hey @janbb you still looking for those nooks and crannies?

I think I found them in the bottom tray of my toaster this morning ! ! !

@Tropical_Willie Oops!