What do you think lasts longer in a relationship, passionate love or love & affection?
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SincereNyc (
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March 15th, 2011
from iPhone
Going through a bit of heartache people, so I hope to get some real answers, men preferably, give me some honest perspective here. Thinking in terms of the qualities you would need for a long term relationship (aside from honesty and trust, that is a given), What is your definition of “passionate love”? Would this be a deal breaker for you to end your relationship if you did not have it? Please advise.
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7 Answers
Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!
Wait. Uh.
I’d rather have really solid, platonic, friendship. Someone I could depend on to help me out when I’m stuck, call me out when I’m being an arse, hang around and watch TV with me, and go away and leave me alone when I need to have a sulk.
Intimacy is overrated. It just gets in the way of things. Takes up too much time, too.
Speaking honestly, I get bored if the relationship I’m in doesn’t involve “passionate love.” That’s only because I’m young, male, stupid, and a hopeless romantic, though, so you can’t really count my opinion that much.
Psychologists and relationship experts, however, say that in most strong, secure, long-term relationships, “passionate love” levels off and disappears after a while to be replaced by a mutual companionate love that lasts for life hopefully with occasional sparks of passion peaking to the surface.
Passionate love at the start of a relationship is often infatuation. It’s important, but isn’t sustainable without commitment, respect, and a genuine connection.
hmm,the fact of the matter is,in my opinion is that love and compassion lasts much longer than passionate love,although passionate love is what kicks it up in the first place.
So,it depends on what type of relationship you want…a lifetime one or a few years one….
In a long-term relationship, passion does not sustain its initial level. It tends to be cyclic.
However, it can be, and should be, nurtured.
Through communication, through date nights, through making an effort.
A good book, if you are so inclined, is Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want.
I’m sorry that you are going through a tough time.
Observing men in relationships (I’m female) I’ll say they want passionate love more than emotional love otherwise they wouldn’t say the lack of of why they cheat on otherwise good partners.
Friendship punctuated by moments of passion works best for us.
As @marinelife said, unbridled passion is cyclic and a good solid friendship is perfect for sustaining you through the down cycles.
Sorry you’re having a rough time of it. Best of luck.
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