Is it a bad thing to go out with the guy your good friend likes?

Confess the truth. Tell her about the four days you dated, the profession of forever love you two made to each other, and your plan to have his child at 24. Maybe tomorrow you could confess this all to her, then go out shopping for a wedding gown for you and a bridesmaid dress for her. Never to early to plan for forever…...

…and apparently they still don’t teach sarcasm in school.

Did you pursue him or did he pursue you? It doesn’t matter in the end if he never had any interest in your friend, even knowing she likes him. What does matter is she will feel betrayed because you’ve known all along she’s liked him and as much as she can be accepted to let it go because he likes you instead, she won’t like knowing you got what she wanted.

Usually friends don’t do this unless they know quite a bit about the other person they want to date and see enough positive and reciprocal there to ruffle a few feathers, even lose a friend over. In the future you will probably have to weigh a situation just like this one against lust, friendship, social standing, etc.

Since you did not know, it is OK. You should tell her before anyone else does though.

Consider saying to her, “You told me on Tuesday you like Joey, did you know he ad I went out last weekend, and we’ve been talking every day?”

Kindly but firmly, make sure she knows you started seeing him before you knew your friend liked him.

You’ll have to tell her. If you only found out that she likes him after you began seeing him, well, this is just one of those “life lesson” things for her, you know? “You can’t always get what you want” and so on.

If she gets upset anyway, well, you can’t control her feelings, but you did nothing wrong, so don’t feel bad that you’re seeing this boy. It’s not your fault that he’s not interested in her.

Fix her up with one of your boyfriend’s friends?

How come you didn’t know she liked him? How come she didn’t know you liked him? Most girls tell each other these things. Is she only an aquaintence? If she is, then it’s ok that you are going out with him, because you would have no way to have known that she liked him too. If she’s your best friend, then I would say that there might be a slight problem because you probably should have known that she liked him. Girls don’t keep that kind of information secret from their best friends, but again, if she’s only an acquaintence, then it’s ok.

If you truly did not know that your friend liked him, then I think it’s ok for you to go out with him and not feel too badly about it, but you need to let her know that you had no idea that she was interested in him, otherwise she will think that you purposely went behind her back to seduce this guy (which would have been really mean). Just tell her that you are sorry that it worked out this way and that you hope she will be ok with it. Then tell her that it’s your goal (whether it is or not) to help her to try to meet another guy that she likes better and then you guys can double date.

If you actually did have some idea that she liked him, then you will have to really be nice to her, and try to convince her that you didn’t know that she liked him. If she finds out that you really did know that she liked him and you persued him anyway, then she will think that you are not a very good friend, fickle, boy crazy and mean. But somehow, I don’t think that that is what happened here. So I think you’re ok. Just be kind to her, she’ll probably be feeling a little blue when you tell her (tell her immediately or she will think that you were hiding the ugly truth from her). Just be nice and sweet and supportive, don’t accuse her of anything. She’ll probably feel like crap for a little while.

Well we used to be bestfriends but then she just gets realy annoying and we have been falling further and further apart. She seems to think she needs to know everything and the day after me and my bf started going out, she told me that she has noticed me and him were flirting and that if she ever found out that me and him were going out or did like eachother she would be very upset and hurt, and we wouldnt be able to be friends anymore. I told her no body can control who they liked and fell for. I never denided that we were or werent going out and now that me and my bf are always together at school, she would just walk past and give us dirties. I have asked my other mates that knwo about me and my bf and they said to not worry about her because as long sa i am happy with him thats all that matters.

If you didn’t know, it’s okay. I agree with @marinelife, tell her. I smooched two of my friends’ crushes in high school and they heard through the grapevine rather than from me, and it was not pretty. The longer you wait, the worse it’ll be for her.

@rebecca_harris9 It doesn’t sound like you intentionally set out to hurt her, but try to see if from her point of view. The timing was really bad. If I was her I would probably think that you did it on purpose (even though I believe from reading what you have said that you didn’t)

Even if you are kind of sick of this girl, she was/is a friend and is probably hurting right now. Try to sit down with her and gently tell her that you really had no idea that she liked him, and that you and the boyfriend got together just a couple of weeks ago. Tell her that you had no intention of hurting her and that you hope that she can understand. It’s ok for you to be happy about your new relationship, but don’t leave this girl hanging in the wind (even if she’s a pain in the you know what). You will be the better person for explaining it to her. Be prepared that she might start crying or even yelling at you. Don’t give in to that. Just be kind and gentle and let her know that you didn’t mean to hurt her and had no idea that she was interested in him. Then leave it at that.

thanks so much and yeah i will talk to her at lunch cos at the momment im in class at school :)

She might get annoying because she’s bugged about something & she doesn’t feel free to really talk about it. She might be a little jealous of you, maybe she even admires you too. When she said she saw you flirting with him. She immediately said she’d get very hurt & upset if things progressed with you & your bf. She sounds a little controlling & she’s trying to guilt you for liking a guy. She doesn’t sound like the best of friends at that moment & she seems to have problems saying that she feels that you’re slipping away. She’s hurt that you’re choosing a guy over her.