In an argument where would you say the point of no return is?
At what point has an argument gone pass the point of no return? If two or more people are in a nasty heated argument then someone brings up a fact than no one knew up until the moment it got said in the ear shot of others like ”at least I didn’t lose my dad to prison because he was molesting me since I was 11yr”, _“at least I didn’t steal $52,000 from the union pension fund I was entrusted to manage”, at least I didn’t have sex with my cousin’s wife the night before their wedding”_, ”I didn’t have to have sex with my cousin in order to break my virginity”, etc would that be past the point of no return? To out someone’s deep secret like that is there any give back you could possibly do to make that better? Once out you can’t put a genie like that back in the bottle. And if it was a friend or family member you outted like that is the bridge burned forever or in time you could build it back?
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9 Answers
When the name-calling begins.
Years ago (twenty) when my wife and I were dating, I outed her in an argument about something private. We were on the phone and no one else heard, but she was so hurt. I have no idea why I said it. She was pushing and pushing and pushing and was relentless in her attack on me. Instead of being smart enough to walk away from the fight, I pulled out this “wild card” bit of information. The minute it left my mouth, I knew I had gone too far. You could almost hear the needle scratch off the record. I went from being right and embattled to instantly wrong with that statement.
She started to cry, said, “that was low”, and hung up the phone. I was an idiot. I called back and apologized profusely. It took a few months for her to “get over it”. She probably still thinks about it. I know I do. I regret it constantly.
And…no one else heard. I imagine if I was stupid enough to say that within earshot of someone else, she would have left me.
A situation like in the OP would certainly take an argument past the point of no return for me. So would any situation where the other person is so embattled on a point of view that they cannot be shifted, or compromise, or “agree to disagree”; there is no point continuing and that is when I would walk away. If we can’t agree on something then let’s let it drop. If we can’t let it drop then it’s a serious enough issue to make a relationship unworkable.
I agree with @YARNLADY and when the yelling starts in earnest.
When I have them in a choke hold rather than a hug.;)
@lucy: I thought, for you, choke-hold = hug. ;^)
@mowens There is a lot of damage that can be done without ever firing a shot, as they say the spoken word can be quite powerful.
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