How would you comfort / advise your son?

I’ve read that it is OK to take someone to the prom as a good friend, and then hope to meet someone there. I don’t have any actual knowledge of it.

He needs to talk to her and explain that he was looking for a BF/GF relationship and is now disappointed.

I took my best friend to the prom. She happened to be a girl and it was totally platonic.

I would advise him that open communication is the best way to rectify this situation. She may not even have a clue that she hurt his feelings. He should give her a call and clarify.

Every prom I went to was with a friend. I didn’t care if they were dating someone or not…we went to have fun together.

It wasn’t a platonic thing…she told my son if she was going to date anyone, it would be him.

@GoJessGo Then, he should address that. If she lied, then he should ask her why? Possibly she’s not out of the closet with her family and was hoping he’d be her cover.

Well, my son just found out that his prom date is in a relationship…with a girl. Apparently she has been for a while, but still wanted my son to take her to the prom. He is hurt and confused. He doesn’t want to take her to the prom, not because she is in a lesbian relationship, but because she lied to him and led him on.

Actually after thinking about this further…I again say communicate. How did he here about her relationship? Rumor in the hallway? Did she tell him? How does he know if it’s true? Does he know if she’s bisexual? Monogamous? oh HS assumptions…so glad this is long in my past

Awww, the poor kid. I know when your children are hurting, you hurt right along with them. I would just say, “sorry, baby” and be there to comfort him. But kids that age tend to work things like this out better on their own, so I would take a back seat as far as advice.

Is the girl “out” at school? Is homosexuality generally accepted where you live? Maybe she really is excited to go to prom – maybe going with a guy is the only way she feels that she can go. She likely doesn’t have any idea how much she hurt him. He should talk to her about it.

“She lies and manipulates. Is this the type of person you’d want to be in a relationship with?” He’s almost old enough to live on his own and make all his own decisions, but this little bit of guidance will hopefully help him make the right decision, about this and all future relationsips.

He’s 17. He’s able to decide what’s right and wrong by himself. :) Tell him that it’s nothing to make a fuss about, and it really isn’t.

Urge him to go. At least it is someone he likes.

Romance can wait

My problem with this is simple. She led him to believe she just wasn’t ready to date him, yet. She lied. She is dating someone.

If it was a matter of her not wanting to come out, yet, and she wasn’t dating anyone…I’d say take her! Or, if the school isn’t open to homosexuality, they could have gone as just friends. However, she led him to believe that she did like him and that she just wasn’t ready.

If she had handled this differently, I’d say take her. However, she showed him zero respect by leading him on. He should go with true friends and have fun. Tell him to explain why he doesn’t want to go, the real reason, that she led him on and lied to him. That is has nothing to do with her being a lesbian.

I don’t know if you can comfort him, but you can certainly commiserate with him. You’re lucky that he confides in you. It sounds like you have a good relationship with you.

I wouldn’t offer him any advice. I would listen and maybe ask a question here and there. The questions might be aimed to guide him towards making a decision he can be comfortable with. You might tell him stories about decision you’ve made in situations like this. But I would let him make his own choices, and refrain from offering him advice, as hard as that may be.

As for the prom, he must go. He will have a blast. It’s a prom. Doesn’t matter who he’ll bring. Didn’t matter who I brought, everyone gets mixed up and separated.

I would tell my son that regardless if the young lady is a lesbian or not, she didn’t act very well in leading him to believe she liked him back. He should tell her he’d like to back out of the date in order for her to go with someone else and for him to be able to go with someone else.

Frankly, I hate deceited people. She knew all along that she was just using your son, in order to go the prom. Why didn’t she and her girlfriend team up and go to the prom? Is this a deep dark secret she is hiding from the world?

I would tell your son that this was hopefully a learning experience for him. To ask someone else, that he trusts.

Sorry for this turn of events for him. Its just part of life.