How to stop these dreams I'm having about my ex boyfriend?

It sounds like closure issues, and I am so sorry you went thru all this.
Because he is such an ass, I am not suggesting you meet with him, and I don’t know how to advise you on how to get closure, except your going to get counseling.

Abusive relationships are hard and thats why people tend to go back to them. All I can suggest is going to get counseling it is the best thing, maybe even a group type thing so you can hear your not the only one that has ever been through something like this and what others have done in your shoes have done to help themselves get through.

I analyse my own dreams so I know a little about it. I think that he isn’t with the girl in the first dream you mentioned because you are fooling yourself into thinking it never happened, and that you do have a good man somewhere who’s alone and waiting for you to come back. It’s not so. I think he is lost in your dreams for much the same reason, you want to find him, but he’s not there. He is NOT there.

@Sammikins maybe you’re going through a lonely part in your life and now you’re grasping at strings. He was no good for you, was he?? You need to go out and find a man who would really love you, then the dreams will stop.

So go put your lipstick on, go out and be with people and go get youself a date.

@lemming Excellant advise regarding going out and moving on… it will be the best thing for her. The better she feels about herself the less she will think about him.

But one thing to always always remember you never ever deserve to be hit or abused by anyone and I mean anyone! Walk away and never come back at the first sign someone is going to do this to you again because they do it once they will always do it. It will never go away and be a good healthy relationship.

You might want to consider some short term therapy. There can be powerful repercussions from having been in an abusive relationship.

Could be a bit of PTSD. You may need to deprogram yourself, but getting used to these scenarios. One treatment is to expose yourself to them over and over until they no longer affect you. Perhaps your mind it trying to treat itself by doing this.

When you find these images in your dream, become conscious. Remember this is what happened and you don’t want it to happen again, but also that it is over and won’t happen again. It is safe to go out again.

Whenever you find yourself obsessing, the 1st thing you can do is the rubber band around your wrist trick. When you find yourself thinking about him or the situation, Just give it a slight snap. Doing this will allow you to see how often you think about it. To stop the dream, sit in a corner, in a safe place, alone and force yourself to think about the painful situation for at least 1 hour. Do this every day and if your mind isn’t tired of it by then, start increasing the time to an hour and a half. Eventually, your mind will be so exhausted, it won’t want to think about it anymore. Sounds crazy, but it really worked for me when I dated a hoe and thought about all the dudes she had been with. Best therapist I ever had gave me this advice. Try it out. It only makes sense.