When faced with bad news, what is your reaction?
Asked by
mazzkat (
305
)
March 27th, 2011
I got into a discussion with someone about all the jokes about Japan that are being made right now. I said there was no respect and she defended by saying, “My friend told me her dad had died and the first thing I did was laugh. I didn’t mean to, it was out of nerves and not knowing what to say. Sometimes humour is a defence.”
My problem with this is, is the earthquake and tsunami wasn’t something you were just told about on an intimate level with a friend. It’s in the news. Of all the things to joke about, I couldn’t understand that someone would carefully construct a joke about it to the world online, instead of have a giggle in the privacy of his own home.
I’m aware humour can be a defence mechanism for bad times, but why at the expense of the ones who’ve been hurt the most?
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7 Answers
It took me a long time to realize that I’m not a horrible person for not having extreme emotional reactions to news like the Japan earthquake.
I mean, I feel upset. I feel terribly upset, but I don’t, you know, cry or anything, even though I cry at the drop of a hat about little bad things happening to me. For a long time I thought it was lack of empathy for other people’s problems but I realized that that’s not what it was, because I realized that I also don’t usually cry when really really awful stuff happens to me, either. For the big stuff, I think I just can’t completely wrap my mind around it. It’s more of a state of shock than it is one of grief, at least at first. I don’t joke about other people’s problems because that feels sick to me. I can understand that other people might get some relief from joking, but for me it feels wrong. I joke about my own problems, after the intial period of getting comfortable. It makes me feel better about them and it helps other people realize that the subject isn’t untouchable.
Laughter isn’t even a defense mechanism, really. It relieves tension, much like crying does. Although it may seem “rude,” it really is just as natural as bursting into tears, for some people.
I go through the phases of grief just like most people do. That means that usually, my first response to bad news is “no way.” Or some form of denial.
As for tragedy in the news… I think that, unfortunately, many of us have become so desensitized to tragedy that there has been this shift in what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. I think, for a moment, people forget that those are real human beings suffering.. it isn’t a movie or a video game.
When I receive bad news, I take it like a man:
kick the dorg
punch a wall or two
break something
kill the messenger
cry in private
Denial, usually. I do enjoy making jokes, but I find the ones that don’t diminish the horror of what’s happened.
Fatalistically. I’m usually surprised when things go well.
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