(NSFW) What's the psychological thought behind S&M/BDSM being an alternative sexuality (as opposed to being the outgrowth of "daddy" or similiar issues)?

Can you elaborate? Why would an interest in S&M mean you have mental health issues?

Here is what one therapist says:

“I’m looking forward to attending the Third Annual Alternative Sexuality Conference by the Center by the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities.

My learning focus will be on BD/SM relationships, as there are several excellent workshops designed to help the clinician work with people in this population. I’ve been told by many people that it was a relief for them to find me as a therapist, and that my tolerance and understanding of their lifestyle allowed them to feel safe enough to work on longstanding emotional issues, many of them not having anything to do with BDSM, but were things the client never got to with other therapists because they never got safe enough because they felt judged.

While many people are comfortable with the idea of gay rights being a natural part of civil rights, less are comfortable with polyamory, consensual BD/SM, the genderqueer movement, and transgender people.

liatherapy

I know that mixing pleasure and pain is a kind of neurological “hacking” that causes the pleasurable sensations to be radically more intense. Obviously, people get into that stuff for a variety of reasons, but not all of them are pathological. IMO, as long as it’s consensual and everyone is an adult, it’s none of my business what people want to do in the bedroom (or the basement—as the case may be).

I’m just trying to clarify here – are you looking for thought on why BDSM represents issues of a mental health nature or for thought showing the opposite?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Stuff on why BDSM doesn’t necessarily mean you were abused as a kid, or have battered wife syndrome. Basically, everything I’ve found goes “nah-uh!!!” to that theory (that if you’re “kinky”, you’re also fucked up), but no one puts forth an alternative theory beyond denial (that I’ve seen).

@MyNewtBoobs You can begin here.

@gorillapaws Which answers some of why people might like being spanked or whipped, etc. But it doesn’t answer why people would enjoy being restrained, humiliated, really anything that isn’t purely physical.

@MyNewtBoobs I think some of those things may be related to the adrenalin related to fear. I’m not a fan of scary movies (because I don’t particularly enjoy being startled) but some people love being terrified. There is a strong sense of trust that must exist as well, which would probably brings participants closer together.

Also, I suspect there’s a freedom in playing by a different set of rules (i.e. in real life Mr. Doe has to behave like a CEO, but in this room it’s ok to wear a diaper and drink out of a bottle). I think people enjoy being silly and letting down their hair, and some of this stuff is related to that angle as well.

I’m not a psychologist, and I’m not really into this stuff either, so feel free to take my best guesses with a grain of salt.

One of the primary dynamics at work beneath whatever activities are included is consensual power exchange.

That’s often overlooked in the discussion of some of the more sensationalistic stuff happening but is in reality quite integral for those involved in this lifestyle.

And if you really want to get info straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, check out this website. There is a kinky therapist who participates in the message boards there.

Gloria Brame and her husband wrote a very comprehensive book a number of years ago entitled “Different Loving” which addresses your question and much else that people have wondered about regarding all types of alternative sexuality.

www.Gloria-brame.com