(NSFW) Let's make a story, line by line!
So when I was in high school, we always did this game where we’d write one line as the intro of the story and we’d pass around our paper until everyone had written one line and the story was completed. I figured this would be a great experiment to see how great of a story we could make!
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There once was this man named Gary.
Gary was a total mess, his wife had divorced him, his children ran away, and he lost his job as a trash man.
But one fresh, spring morning, on his walk to the dole office, Gary happened across something truly remarkable.
He had heard music (it sounded like a flute) coming from a bush by the sidewalk.
Then, a platypus in a polka-dot bikini jumped out from the bushes!
The platypus was carrying a magic spatula.
The platypus said to him, in an eerie voice “Son, come with me, I have a world of magic to show you!”.
“Nah uh”, said Gary. “I’m not falling for that line again. Not after what happened with the supposedly magic Komodo Dragon!”
In a flash, the Komodo Dragon had ripped off his platypus suit and torn a huge chunk of flesh from Gary’s calf.
Then, in a fit of sudden adrenaline, Gary transformed into Raptor Jesus and obliterated the Komodo dragon with a Kamehameha.
He finally settled back down and began walking again. Little did he know, he couldn’t return back to his regular form after transforming into Raptor Jesus.
After walking for a few more minutes, he came across a black cat, with scary yellow eyes…
The cat hissed and growled at Gary because of the way he looked.
Gary, unafraid of such hypocrisy, grabbed the cat and deep fried it for dinner.
After he ate the cat, he felt a bit guilty—but only because his doctor had warned him to stay away from fried foods.
After his sudden and unexpected dinner,Gary had to walk all the way back to work again.
When he finally got there, he was an hour late. This meant that Gary would have to work till 5 instead of 4.This was a dilemma for him,as he had a date with Celia at 5.
Gary decided to call Celia and reschedule his date with her, but wondered if their new relationship was only based on looks or could it survive his new transformation…...
Meanwhile, three blocks away, two Toyota Priusses collided head on.
“Wasn’t Celia also a proud owner of said Japanese vehicle?”
The explosions were only minor, since they don’t run on much gasoline.
Gary’s boss was a bit lenient after hearing of his girlfriends accident, so he let Gary off early at 3 so he could go to the hospital to meet her.The doctor he met there said she wasn’t hurt too badly ,,,only….
three broken legs, five and a half dismembered fingers, and three concussions.
“HOLY SHIT! AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T BREAK A NAIL!!!”
Gary went over to her and held out his hand to touch her…but just then….she began to dissapear….
Suddenly, life has new meaning.
Gary screamed again, this time for want of not losing her….
Suddenly…gary woke up in his bed, his gf Celia beside him sleeping soundly.
“Phew, it was just a dream!”, then Gary woke up AGAIN, this time Celia was gone.
Gary, quite confused by this turn of events called out to Celia, “Darling, will you bring me some Tums? The fried cat seems to not agree with me.”
Celia replied “course I can,you’ll just have to wait another 5 mins…I’m doing number 2..”
Then the house exploded. The end.
yes…The end of Celia and Gary…but in the house opposite,at the window…there was a masked guy,,,with a detonator in his hand….
Little did he know that the detonator was also rigged with explosives.
Just before his own house exploded, he jumped out the window… BOOOOMM!!! Then Michael Bay yelled, “CUT!”
he congratulated the so called “Gary” or Bruce Willis at another scene well done….
raaahhgl a’evna ava’a bvarraaa
…was Bruce willis’s reply as he had stuffed his mouth full of chips
One of the chips came to life and screamed, “Nooooo! Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids!”
In his surprise, Bruce spit the unfortunate chip across the room and began to suffer cardiac arrest.
“Oh no!”, said the chip. “Bruce Willis is choking!”
Samuel L. Jackson stepped onto the set and said, “Not on my watch, motherfucker.”
This attitude was, sadly, accompanied by a grenade launcher..
The grenade launcher said, “Everyone, chill the fuck out! I know CPR!”.
Several minutes later, in the ruins of the studio, those who survived had only one thought running through their minds… Who gave that grenade launcher a CPR license?
Bruce Willis got up and calmly walked out of the wreck of the burning studio.
He thought to himself as he walked to his Porsche, “I’m nearly 60! Isn’t there more to life than being an action star?”
But the quiet reflection turned to hysteric depression, as he remembered that he was, in fact…
Japanese Bruce Willis! (ブルース ・ウィリス)
But he was comforted after he realized that being Japanese Bruce Willis is sometimes a whole lot better than being Nicolas Cage .
Ahh, but old habits Die Hard with good old Brucie boy. He had a Sixth Sense something wasn’t quite right…....
To his surprise, his Porsche changed into a giant robot/alien/thing and ran off. Bruce Willis thought that he could almost hear the car speaking about having to battle to save the planet. “Like hell you’re doing that without me,” He said, “I’m Bruce Willis!”. But what he didn’t realize was that on the other side of the city….
…Demi Moore was seducing the Last Boy Scout this truly was Sin City after all.
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Demi screamed, she looked like she’d seen a Ghost!
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They danced all night until the Red Dawn
Coincidentally, it was Gary’s workmate ,Frank ,who stumbled upon the remains of the party in the morning and had to clean it up.
Frank stepped in something very sticky, a goo of some sort….
He looked down and there were big giant globs of green boogers stuck to his shoes. Thinking what shall I do now….
Frank was a very irrational man, so he preceded to run into the glass window at the office and jump off of the 12th floor.
And realized he had forgotten to screw on his head.
Because Frank was really a robot sent from way in the future to…...
Send Frank back to the future.
But there was a problem with security and Frank missed his transport.
The transport was under a big W
The W was for Walmart (Transport On Sale)
Frank was taken to a back room in the Walmart Homeland Security Department.
Where he was cavity searched for weapons of mass destruction.
“Oh baby!” Frank exclaimed. “Be gentle, please”.
“I could explode! I could be reduced!” he blathered.
Then a dominatrix entered the room and spanked Frank.
Until the second dominatrix walked in…
“Jeezel!” he cried, “where have you been?”
And then his wife walked in the room…
And she knew just the right buttons to spank and he was reduced by two inches.
He then decided to randomly go through the “divorce stage” and told his wife he wanted one…
She said “Fine”, then she left, arm in arm with the second dominatrix.
And then Frank woke up again
This time in a brothel….the nasty bugger…
With his clothes nowhere to be found. Dammit! Frank thought…..
He got up and noticed he was alone in the room….little did he know….
He only THOUGHT he was alone. There was….this presence. At first he did not notice it. Then
the dark figure crouched up behind him and covered his face with a cloth doused in chloroform.
Everything went black. He fell senselessly to the floor. The dark figure bent over him, sniffing. (he had a chloroform fetish)
Then, the dark figure leaned over and pushed a red button on the wall.
The dark figure sat and waited, hunched over, snuffling…
The faint smell of chloroform made him quite loopy, so he preceded to dance around the floor, gently touching his nether parts.
Frank groaned, and rolled over, exposing his expansive stomach, while the red button glowed ominously, and the dark figure swayed in the gloom.
Mel Brooks tackled the dark figure and yelled out “Don’t press that button!”
While the button continued to glow mysteriously, ominously, invitingly. Mell Brooks discovered he couldn’t take his eyes off of it.
then suddenly he reached over, slammed the cover down over the button and shouted “NO DEAL!”
Just then he heard the voice of Howie Mandel say you need to pick 3 suitcases until the bankers next call. He looked up to see…....
the sexy models displaying their silver suitcases prominently, until one of them started stripping.
When that sight met his eyes,
his hand flew to his flies,
and proceeded with a shameless unzipping…
But to his horror, he discovered that his penis was missing!
It was then that Frank remembered that he was a robot and that he’d handed his member in to get the tattoo of Jeezel removed from it.
What a coincidence! His phone rang and it was the tattoo doctor calling him back to let him know that his robotic penis has been finished.
Frank made a beeline for the door of the brothel, intending to go pick up his tattoo-free penis, but…
Julie cut him off and said that she wanted to…
Frank agreed but only on two conditions:
one: She has to be wearing a pink leotard and
Two….
She agreed to his terms and they started humping on the sofa, only to their dismay the dark figure had stopped dancing and wanted to be part of the action too….
Frank agreed but only on three conditions:
one: He had to take the stinking cloak off
Two: He had to stay behind him as he didn’t want to share the model
and three…
Frank looked up to see the sun shining outside. That seemed odd to him because 5 minutes ago there were no windows in that room.
Plus it was raining cat and dogs, kind of weird since there were no clouds.
Frank decided he was just hallucinating from the chloroform and continued humping…
Little did he know that there was a hole that had appeared in cat and dog heaven., hence all the cats and dogs falling from the sky.
Frank had been humping for so long that Julie had fallen asleep, until…
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Frank got so high, he swore he saw a unicorn fly by and take a dump in his lawn.
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Being an ex-trashman, of course Frank knew what to do with the doodoo.
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So, he took a picture of the sparkling pile of shit and posted it on Craigslist.
And, using a litter-picker,
picked up the shit-glitter,
to have it scientifically assayed in order to determine of what it might consist…
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Yes that’s right, the Spice Girls were indeed about to reform. Oh joy, rapture :¬(
But before they did, Frank was now on a new mission, instead of boning Julie repeated, he must assassinate all of the Spice Girls.
It wouldn’t be an easy thing to do, since everyone knew that they were actually aliens from a distant galaxy with ambitions to rule the world with cheesy pop jams. But, what made Frank confident that he could succeed was his secret weapon:
his potato gun. It launches 5 pph (potatoes per hour) at a distance of 4m (millimeters).
Just then, Mr Potato head declared war on Frank.
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Frank threw naked Julie into his room and barricaded it from the outside. “Stay here, you’ll be safe from the evil Mr. Potato man”, he said.
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Frank stood in awe as she somehow went right through the door as if she were a ghost.
But nay, it wasn’t a ghost: It was merely a hologram, being operated by the spice girl standing… right… behind him!
Just then Mr Potato Head broke down the door with the help of Mrs Potato Head and….
…was promptly sliced, fried, and salted.
Tasty said Frank as he ate one of the sliced, fried and salted peices
But the Potato Heads were not through with Frank, just yet, because they had initiated a plan before getting toasted, with two little words…
Mrs. Potato Head said, “Cowabunga, man!” and lunged for Frank’s jugular. Frank promptly…
…was distracted by a small spider crawling up his wall. Mrs. Potato head moved in for the kill.
Charlotte had written “French Fries” in her web.
Frank round house kicked Mrs. Potato Head in the face and promptly made french fries of her too. Only this time he double-fried them which made them doubly delicious. All of the sudden Julie came back dressed in nothing but roller skates.
But Julie brought back a very sexy man named Julio Bobert Von Raucshen Bubkin the III.
“Just call me Rauschie!” he said with a smile. That Rauschie was wearing green sparkly Hammer pants and a Charlie Brown zig-zag T-shirt detracted not one iota from his smouldering appeal.
Frank suddenly questioned his sexuality upon gazing at Rauschie’s square jaw and bulging biceps.
Raucshie asked Frank to waltz with him.
They waltzed and waltzed until the night came and passed. Upon sunrise, they realized they left Julie upstairs all alone.
At the least, all the truffles would be gone.
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Julie also had a huge problem. When she was depressed, she would keep eating and eating. When Raucshie and Frank were done waltzing, they found that Julie had gained at least 200 pounds overnight.
They both decided that they weren’t interested in girls after all and went back to Frank’s house for a make out session,leaving Julie to eat away.
She bacame so large that she ballooned to the size of a small whale, and began rolling toward Frank’s home, crushing everything in her path.
Luckily for them,Frank and his new boyfriend were out dining when this happened and were therfore saved from being squished.
News was breaking out about “rolling Julie”, so Obama declared a mandatory evacuation for the whole town.
And then he bombed Julie because his name is o-bomb-a
He then got sued by Julie’s family and lost his job.People began to wonder who their next president would be….
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This new president was hated by all the people around the world as he banned all things potato in the states,including chips,and banned all imports of “Potato products”.
Mr. Potato head told them about his travelogue website (http://www.spudstravels.com/), and the people settled down when they realized how cool he really was.
Until he was bombed by osama bin laden…
Osama took out that spud by bombing him and turning him into on big sea of mashed to be picked up and dropped on……...
Just as he was singing his next big hit, Justin heard a big boom and down came a big pile of mashed spuds on him knocking him out
Unfortunately,this meant he had to eat his way out,resulting in a very fat boy.Girls all over the world got over him and unfollowed him from twitter/facebook etc.
And this was said to be the biggest victory in the 21st century. But a new despicable teen came into power, his name was…....
Bjorn Gustavious Liechtenburgh.
but the real power behind him was Kate the great
Who pretended to be just his manager…
but instead, she was trying to take over the world with her Jedi mind tricks!
Bjorn saw through her thinly veiled trickery and decided to take matters into his own hands.
By introducing her to Fluther and thus the world was saved from kate the great as she had become addicted to this site.
But that wasn’t the end of his ‘crimes’.
The crime was this became the neverending story
The literature police burst into the thread and arrested all the participants on charges of non-sequitur, nonsense and general silliness.
Also for unapproved usage of a Hasbro product.
Suddenly The Rain Maker entered the room with Erin Brockovich at his side.
and Erin shouted to the police, “just a minute officer, I represent these people”
Erin then collapsed and broke out into a seizure.
wearing nothing but Julie’s roller skates.
And then Frank woke up again, but in his pajamas this time.
Then Frank passed out once more, and woke up on the planet Zorgabiletrixy. He was greeted by a swarm of zoomerami beasts.
He butchered the standard zoomerami greeting by saying “Znorg” instead of “Znyerg”. “Znyerg” means “Eat me” in Zoomerami, so the beasts grinned with nasty fuschia fangs and charged Frank.
And then Frank screamed, “I can’t afford more credit card debt!”
The beasts halted knowing Frank wasn’t the game they were after, so they started an orgy.
Frank tried to flee the scene before he was trampled in the chaos, but found himself in a circular room. On his third circuit he found a small red door.
He said, “Open sesame!” The door remained shut. So, with all of the force he could muster, he shoved his shoulder into the marooned colored passageway.
But in the process, he dislocated his shoulder and sank to his knees, crying like a little girl.
Then the door slowly opened. There was a woman standing inside the room. She began cracking up upon witnessing the amount of tears flowing down Frank’s face and the loud girlie-like bawling.
Frank didn’t care. After all he had been through, he just wanted to go home to his nice comfy bed, have some hot chocolate, and watch cartoon reruns. That, however, was not to be.
he switched on the TV and found all his cartoon rerun had been preempted by some presidential, newscast, some national disaster or some crap like that. As he stared blankly at the screen, a man came on and introduced the president….
“Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United State of America”, said Morgan Freeman.
@erichw1504 !!!! @erichw1504 walked on to the stage silently thinking in his head… ”I’m not really a political guy…”
And then she woke up. @erichw1504 and socks and sandals? Now that must have been the most awful nightmare of all.
And an interesting tidbit came to light- everyone involved in the story had just been dreaming. It had all been just a horrible nightmare, induced by jellyfish stings received while they had all been cavorting nude on the same beach.
@WillWorkForChocolate wondered why she ever joined the jellies on the nude beach as some of them did not have the greatest looking tentacles.
But then she remembered- she had really only participated in the beachplay because she wanted to see what @erichw1504 looked like.
But Chocolate won, because she’s shorter and meaner. She went for @queenie‘s ankles and the backs of her knees.
Spongebob Squarepants decided that this was a perfect time to harvest some jellyfish jelly.
The soil was perfectly moist to produce many of them. We worked day and night, until one morning…
“Oh no!”, exclaimed Spongebob, “What ever shall I do?!” Patrick came over and passed some gas. You could tell because of the 4 or 5 bubbles the appeared behind him.
All of a sudden, a plane holding a ton of mail crashed down onto the island, and Tom Hanks climbed out. Unfortunately,
he had bad news. “Use this volleyball as a friend”, he whispered. Then he took off, apparently with the ability to fly, much like Superman, only less muscular.
At that point the volleyball began talking.
“THE VOLLEYBALL SPEAKETH!” boomed a big voice. Eyes looked everywhere looking for the source. Then everyone gasped as the volleyball began rolling slowly, slowly…
toward @WillWorkForChocolate who had already had three glasses of wine. She picked up the volleyball and with a giggle, spiked it over an imaginary net, where it accidentally hit Angelina Jolie in the face when she dove for it.
Angelina missed the ball and landed on her face. The volleyball began to slowly circle the room, ominously humming a Las Vegas show tune.
Volley then sang out “She’s a Lady” in his best Tom Jones voice.
And in walked a golden retriever. The tag on its collar read “Lady”.
The golden retriever then transformed into a 6 foot tall Brazilian woman!
“Tudo bem, o que diabos está acontecendo aqui? she asked. “Uma menina não pode simplesmente pegar um sol na ilha estúpida! Quem tem jogado com o vôlei de magia?”
What the hell is going on.
She said this so loudly that the building collapsed and…
so of course everyone got squashed. Which meant they went dead. Some were more dead than others though.
Orville Redenbacher was one of the least dead, so he was able to climb out of the rubble and do the skip-hoppity-do-dah jelly dance three times in a row.
But his dance was cut short when someone popped him.
It was Samuel L. Jackson, mother f*cker! No, he didn’t shot him, he actually stuffed him in his gigantic microwave and set it to “Popcorn”.
But Bruce Willis showed up and traded Samuel L. Jackson a Royale with Cheese to spare Orville’s motherf**kin life!
Jeremy Renner showed up with a sniper rifle and said, “There’s somebody out there on another island about 4 miles North and his name is…
Snoopy Dog! Go bite ‘im on the ankle!
Bruce replied, “OK. You brought a sniper rifle, yet you want someone to bite Snoopy Doggy Dogg, whom is 4 miles away on another island, in the ankle?......... I accept your challenge!”
But then the scene was interrupted by the local mailman, who was screaming like a little girl whilst running from a pack of rabid guinea pigs!
“YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”, a booming voice stated from what seemed like an invisible 5.1 Dolby Surround System as the mailman flung a piece of mail at Bruce and disappeared before their eyes.
Bruce opened the envelope with some scissors and began to read. As he did, he noticed his eyes began to blurr, and then he swooned. The ink on the letter was poisoned!
He quickly took the scissors and gouged his eyeballs out to prevent the poison from entering the rest of his body. The sight of this made Jeremy vomit all over his new crocodile-skinned boots.
Then the world exploded.
THE END.
But far, far away lived an alien race on the planet Tuton-X9. They were a happy race, not afraid of the occasional orgy in public. Until one day…
a little girl began to read The Three Bears out loud. This caused great fear in the general population and riots ensued. Their world was forever changed.
Before, there had never been a concept of “too” anything; all had always been just right without anyone having to think about it. Now, thanks to this story, the people were deeply confused. The Flotburz dispatched his favourite and brightest assistant Franco to find out where the child had come from.
Franco discovered that the girl was playing in a tin shed when earth exploded…and was propelled to their planet.
He asked the little girl what her name was. She said, “Flo.” Franco then asked where she came from and she said, “Earth”. “O. M. G!!!!!!”, he elated, “Earth is like totally my favorite planet! I haven’t been there in light years! What is it like now?”
Um, she said… I can’t remember…
She suffered from temporary memory loss.
She began humming to herself Just keep swimming,just keep swimming, just keep swimming,swimming,swimming…
Franco took Flo over to Flotburz and asked him what to do with her. He said…
“I dunno! What do you want to do, Flo?”
I want to floss, of course!
Flo thought for a few minutes, and it suddenly occurred to her that nothing would please her more than to have a wig made from dental floss. She stood up with a gleam in her eye and a mission.
She scavenged the entire planet for dental floss. Days, months, years went by. Now, 18 years old, Flo, unable to find even a single strand of dental floss, gave up. Until…
She was run over by a truck filled with dental floss.
Fredac, the driver of the truck, got out and peeled Flo off the ground. He said he was sorry and drove off. Flo, now flat as a pancake, didn’t know what to do. She found Franco and…
snatched the dental floss he was about to use out of his hand.
“Mine, all mine!” she shrieked. Besides making her flat, the truck had obviously addled her brains.
Franco had a solution. He had been on earth many years before and had witnessed in an animation including a cat and a mouse, how they pump each other up after being flattened.
Franco got a super fast pump and began pumping…
but since he was extremely strong, he pumped too fast and Flo popped like a balloon. “Oops”, said Franco.
Meanwhile, on planet Zoraconalacan Arimantixar, Mr. Sfphor!gan-244 was…
Sleeping, after a night of naughty action.
He performed the Bloxarcian-formak move on Mrs. Sfphor!gan-244 for almost 3 yiros. Fully satisfied, she woke up early to make her husband a stack of panfracks. Upon smelling the delicious breakfast, Mr. Sfphor!gan-244…
Woke up and gobbled Mrs. Sfphor!gan-244 up. Then he decided to change his name to Gary.
Gary then went to work. Upon arriving to work, his manager noticed his new name tag and fired him. “Oh no! My burgafer flipping days are over!”. Gary had a life changing moment, he decided he wanted to become a professional belly dancer. He scoured the papers and online job postings until one day…
He found his dream job that he didn’t even know he ever wanted to do!
Being a dustbin man! Gary smiled and whooped for joy.
He whooped so loud that his entire home fell to pieces. “Oh well”, said Gary, “I’ll just save up all the money from my new job as a dustbin man and buy a new glorious beach front home in the town of Ubaklavalala-o.
It took longer than planned to save up that money for the beach front home. By the time Gary had it saved up, he had lost interest in the beach front home and decided to spend his money a different way.
He used it on all the hookers and blow he could handle. Gary became so addicted that he changed his name to Xor-xor.
And then he changed it yet again to Charlie Brown.
Oh, that wishy washy Charlie Brown.
Charlie likes to eat fried chicken, fried mushrooms, fried bananas, french fries. As long as it’s fried, Charlie will eat it. Well, most things.
good gosh. I do believe I lost this story line! But here goes!
For that reason, and others, Charlie is fried.
Charlie opened a bag of potato chips and tried to find some dip for them. But dip isn’t fried.
So…he fried the dip…..and THEN
it wasn’t dip anymore because it was sort of…crispy.
So, he tried to microwave it for 1 minute and 30 seconds. It exploded.
Charlie had to get a face transplant done, as it had exploded in his face.
So, now he looks like Steven Tyler after a night of cocaine, hookers, and binge drinking.
But he still says “Ugh!” every time Lucy pulls the football away.
One time, when he was charging for the football, Lucy pulled away but he accidentally smashed her in the chest. She ended up with 57 broken ribs and permanently lopsided boobies.
Now people all over the world were catching on to the new porn craze of women with lopsided breasts. Women were going out of their way to make their own ta-tas crooked in order to get featured in the magazine.
Then the price of printer’s ink went up, and the magazine had to charge THREE times what they had been just to cover the cost of ink! Charlie went into the ink making business to try to find a new source of ink. He called his business “Charlie’s Ink Inc”.
Charlie became a billionaire from his publishing empire. He hired famed artist Baron Von Snoopy to paint his portrait
Behind his portrait he had a safe that contained…
Yes, Gary had a computerized heart inside of him. One day it got a virus and started sending him Viagra ads into his brain.
Charlie had to have those ads, and that stamina.
Charlie had a contract going with the Geek Squad, and just then a Geek came in to do his weekly service. Just as Charlie was about to reach his goal, the Geek ran a scan and found 6000 infections and 42 viruses. He deleted them all from his brain, and once gain Charlie was “normal”.
”Aww Rats! UGH!” Charlie raged.
Just then Lucy rang his doorbell.
“There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters . . . I could be their leader.” he thought as he opened the door.
But to his surprise it wasn’t Lucy! It was a radical robot hater and she killed him on the spot by electrocuting him.
Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of the world…
the National Climatic Data Center reminded them that the planet was continuing to warm as expected.
I thought earth had exploded already?
The Government declared a state of emergency.
I guess someone glued it back together when nobody was looking
But when someone reminded the government how well the glue was working on holding the Earth together, the government got some glue and fixed the emergency with it.
Unfortunately, the government was in debt by $14,272,503,246,233.86.
The purchase of the glue sent them over the edge, and every other nation on Earth declared war on them.
Not to be deterred, the goverment got a lot more glue from their secret hoard (they do that you know), and glued all the people trying to make war on them. It really gummed up their war.
“We have to save Princess Bubblegum!” said Finn the human.
Her long, pink, flowing hair had attracted a swarm of large white-faced hornets.
They buzzed about, intoxicated by the beauty of her long flowing pinkish locks, until….
She had a fit and lost all of her hair.
At that point the hornets had an ethical decision to make: Should they sting the *$%@!!!# out of her, or should they go back to doing the usual white faced hornet activities?
They decided to go back to basket weaving and tea drinking. Finn the human, now free of the white-faced hornets, re-focused to his quest to save Princess Petunia instead (she was way hotter anyhow).
Little did he know that Princess Petunia had a crush on one of the white-faced hornets named Bob, and wanted to marry him.
At the wedding, just before Petunia and Bob were about the say their “I do’s”, Finn came crashing through the chapel in his 2048 Ford Mustang DX. “Oops, I’ll pay for that.”, he exclaimed. “Petunia, you mustn’t marry this hornet! For I love you with all my heart!”
Petunia was really torn now (she was in love with the guy’s money) Marry a rich white faced hornet, or marry for love and be poor? What to do?
Petunia married for money. She needed to get her mani and pedis and she couldn’t live anywhere but a mansion. 10 years later…
she had a whole nest full of baby white faced hornets with a taste for petunia nectar. Petunia had created a monster!
But those babies loved their mama. They’d do anything for Mama; all she had to do was say the word…
“flabbergast”. One day, Petunia decided she wanted to leave her rich, white-faced hornet husband and buy an island with half of his money. Upon arriving to the island…
she realized that she was Lost and what’s more, there were 70 other characters running around on that very same Island. She stared in horror as Jeffrey Lieber, J. J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof informed here that she would be stuck here for SIX WHOLE SEASONS. Meanwhile, at the Hornet household…
Bob discovered an alternative universe in which he was still married to Petunia. He hired Walter Bishop to help him cross into the alt universe and kill Altbob and pretend to be her real husband. Upon killing Altbob, weird things started to happen, as if the two universes were on a collision course with one another…
This is where the Big Bang Theory began.
Sheldon and Leonard saved the day with their invention that stopped the collision from happening. It was called the Hyperlucasive Vertigan.
The Hyperlucasive Vertigan broke time itself into molecules and also could whip up a choice of rich desserts on demand.
Including Nuclear Apple Pie and Cosmic Soufflé. Leonard decided to travel to the alternate universe and meet his alt-self.
Turns out his alternate self was Data.
He asked Data to party with him and he said, “Maybe another time, I have to feed my goldfish.”
‘My gold fish’s name is Steven.’
‘Doors explodes open’ “get to the choppa” screamed Arnold
But where was the chopper? Arnold searched frantically for it, listening vainly for the “chop chop” sound of the blades. As he turned, a voice boomed out…
But there was an echo, and he searched vainly for the source of the voice. “Quit dawdling and step on it!” boomed the voice.
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