Would you date someone who felt differently about abortion than you?

No. If you’re going to have sex, you’d better be in agreement about what happens should a pregnancy occur.

It depends on how fervent he was about it, and why he feels that way. If he was anti-choice because he thinks men ought to be the final authority on women’s bodies or because GOD SAYS SO, then I’m out. If, however, his position is more nuanced, I might be open to it.

No. Dating is a prelude to marriage, and I feel that a couple ought to be on the same page when it comes to important things like faith and values and the lives of the unborn. There is stress enough without your closest ally being your enemy.

No. You would not want to be in a situation where you are pregnant and the expectation is that you will have an abortion. That will most likely end the relationship at that point. Likewise, if you would choose to have an abortion, and he was opposed to it, it would most likely end the relationship at that point.

Absolutely not, my body, my choice. If he doesn’t get that and thinks he should be able to tell me what I must do with my body, the relationship would never last.

I would be prepared to date them, but we’d have to come to some common ground before I would sleep with them.

I would….wont really matter to me how the outcome turns out. If we made a baby together and she wants to abort it fine..if she wants to keep it im there all the way. Whatever she chooses I will be at her side.

Considering I would only date another woman, it probably would not be a big issue. We may not agree, but it wouldn’t actually manifest in our relationship in any real way. That is, of course, unless one of use were raped or something and then conceived. She would also have to think that even that circumstance would not warrant abortion, and I doubt I would ever date someone like that.

as long as he would want children with me eventually, I dont think I would be that yiffed off.

My boyfriend is for abortion and I’m against. He is well aware if I ever got pregnant there is zero chance of me getting an abortion.

My wife and I disagree on some nuanced part of the issue, but as far as the overall issue, no. Not only because of abortion but we’d likely disagree on other key issues that would make a good, healthy relationship difficult.

I don’t think that’d be wise. Two people dating should agree on important things like that.

Date, sure.

Marry? Never.

I have.
Dating and sleeping together are two different things.;)

I don’t date women that I can’t trust to get an abortion in the event that she becomes pregnant unexpectedly. Let’s say we’re having protected sex, but a mistake happens; then I’m screwed because I can’t talk her out of it. So I tend to date women that are (or at least seem) a little more liberal on these issues.

Yeah I could. I respect my partner’s views and if they don’t agree with mine that’s ok.

Definitely not. I’m pro-choice, and anyone that I’m in a sexual relationship with would have to be pro-choice as well.

In a hetero sexual relationship, there’s always the possibility of pregnancy, and I would have to know that, if I were to get pregnant and decide to have an abortion, my partner would be able to accept it.

I can see how this question would be answered quite differently depending on sex and one’s stance on abortion. A pro-choice woman would likely need to be with a pro-choice man, but a pro-life woman with a pro-choice man could always choose to leave her partner to raise the child alone. A pro-choice man wouldn’t force a pro-life woman to abort, either – he’d just leave.

yes, just because i feel a certain way does not mean the other person is not allowed their own opinion. I am not a dictator!

Are you planning to make it an issue?

I’m thinking that no one is a proposing actually actively having abortions as a way of life. A couple should be able to live a life together where the issue wouldn’t become a practicality. Most choices in life are a percentage bet. If you want a 100% cast-iron guarantee about ANYTHING, then abortion, as a single issue of concern, is actually the least of your problems.

I think it would depend on how we disagreed. I have met men who are against abortion but who believe that it is ultimately the choice of the woman because she is carrying the child. I would be okay with being with one of these men. I always prefer a pro-choice partner, however, not just someone who feels like he can’t do anything about it.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure anyone can know how they truly feel about abortion until they are faced with the decision. For example, I may be pro-choice, but if I get pregnant now, I do not know if I would have an abortion. My boyfriend seems pretty sure that he would want me to have an abortion, but I have a feeling he wouldn’t be so sure if I actually got pregnant.

Just a little related note, I am fairly certain that I would be unable to give a child up for adoption. I know it sounds selfish and possibly stupid, but I do not think I could carry a child for nine months, spend several hours in labor and then give it up. People talk about how abortions sometimes haunt them, or sperm or egg donations haunt them, but the idea that I had put all this work and my body had changed and literally made another human being and then it was taken away, well, that would haunt me.

I’m gonna go with the ever popular “it depends”. If your partner is against abortion under all circumstances (life of mother, rape victims, extremely deformed fetus… etc), I would take that as a sign that the person is too rigid. That type of thinking is likely to spill over into other parts of the relationship.
On the other hand, a pragmatic view against abortion is fine in my book. My view is if you’re an adult who is living on your own (post college age), then there is really no reason, outside of health, rape… etc, that you should have an abortion. Have the baby and give it up for adoption if you feel you can’t raise it. I’m not saying it should be law; I’m saying that it’s the responsible thing to do. Couple gets to adopt baby, baby gets life with couple who wants baby. What’s wrong with that?

Why not? Personally, I don’t let political/“ethical” dilemmas interfere with “love,” that is just a sign of both laziness and/or arrogance in its own right.

@Winters Love is inherently judgmental.

I wouldn’t. I want to know that we’ll be on the same page should something come up before that situation comes up. And I’m not sleeping with anyone I’m not dating.

@Nullo and why should one judgement interfere with another? Or why should a disagreement over politics decide where my schlong wants to go?

@Winters It isn’t politics, it’s potentially very personal.

@MyNewtBoobs Yes I understand that, but if there is ANYTHING I’ve learned about realtionships, it’s that both parties need to be able and willing to overcome differences, and a difference in opinion upon the matter of abortion is minute compared to the ones my parents had to overcome.

@Winters So if you got a girl pregnant, you wouldn’t have an issue if she felt totally differently than you on what to do? That wouldn’t end the relationship?

@MyNewtBoobs I have, she wanted an abortion, I didn’t, we were together for another year and a half until she became overly obsessive and controlling.

I’m married to someone of an opposite stance. His family even “forced” him to go to pro-life rallies as a kid I say forced, because he didn’t really want to

Now then, we have discussed the big “what-if” scenario. He agrees it would be my choice and that we would never share the decision with anyone else. We have certain parameters of how such a decision would be made, too.

He is not so pro-life that he’d want me to die from an ectopic pregnancy, nor through carrying a baby to term just so it could die the first hour/day of life.

Nope.

I agree with @KatawaGrey – I couldn’t carry a baby for 9 months and then give it away. When I had an abortion, age 20, I knew this.

I think that my stance on abortion and whether or not I would necessarily have one now are two different things. Just because I would not have one now if I got pregnant (which would be immaculate conception) does not mean I am against abortion. I am totally 100% for a woman’s right to choose and I would rally on DC if I had to!

It would mainly depend on why they felt that way but it would be very difficult to be with someone that felt differently to me about abortion considering my opinion on this issue is so strong.

No, because then we would disagree on how to cope with a potential pregnancy.