In what ways has your relationship with your spouse grown over the years?

Being more relaxed and accepting of imperfection.

We trust each other. We don’t feel the need to check up on each other, other than to offer support.

It’s lovely to have such a strong caring support system, and to have someone always ready to laugh with you, and support you through the hard times.

We’ve been married just a bit over 10 years..and I realize that’s not all that long compared to say those who’ve been married a few decades.
Even from the early days we started with an amazing high level of trust. We’re both very loyal types – so we had that from the get-go.

What we’ve “grown” into over the years is.. the ability to “let it go”. It doesn’t always need to be hashed out right now. If it’s important enough we’ll pick it up and discuss it again later..but we’ve both learned to pick our battles much more effectively—with each other AND our kids.
We now can communicate without speaking..it’s not ESP per se…but sometimes I can just look at him and he knows everything I was just about to say.
I think we’ve both ended up adopting behaviors from each other, too. He mellows me out, I make him a bit more aggressive (aggressive in the sense of..not being so passive or allowing others to take advantage of his kind nature).
I’ve learned that even when I’m at my angriest with him..even when he does something admittedly dumb and I’m full-on pissed at him…I still respect him deeply. No matter what…I have very deep respect and just LIKE him..even when we have disagreements.
We’ve both learned to NEVER say the “D” word. It’s a no-go. Never issue idle threats or say hurtful things. They linger and leave too much damage.

@geeky_mama What’s the D word?

Well, I don’t hate her as much now. Just kidding. We are definitely more relaxed and attuned to each other than ever before.

@Facade – Divorce

…as in, when fighting we never never “go there” ..if we’re really at an impasse or really angry neither of us will ever threaten to leave / divorce.

@geeky_mama Sounds like a good policy

We have learned how to communicate without being hurtful. How to argue constructively.

We are much more appreciative of each other.

Having spent almost our entire adult lives together, (we met when we were 20 and will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary this coming Monday), we’ve witnessed a lot of growth over the years. I think the most important for us as a couple has been learning how to forgive each other for our mistakes and not hold any grudges. Nobody is perfect and marriage isn’t a fairytale, unfortunately many people go into a marriage thinking this way.

After 45 years together, we have no secrets.

We both know which buttons not to push. This makes a big difference in a relationship.

We’ve been married for almost 10 years and lived together for 12 years before that. We have learned what each of us is good at, (and not so good at!) We’ve learned to discuss things. We’ve learned to set aside time for our relationship.

Okay right, she’s grown accustomed to getting her own way & in turn, i’ve grown used to her shovel handed whacks across my “midships”...........oh the joys of a lengthy committed relationship.

We have a deeper love and companionship, without being completely ruled by hot monkey sex. We’ve also had to come to an understanding that dishes not in the sink will not be washed, and laundry not in the basket will not be washed. =0)

We started off as friends with benefits and now we’re in love although, it didn’t take long for that change to happen. For the first few months it was no strings and then both of us decided that we wanted the strings too.

We are so much more relaxed around each other. We have really reached that point where we can finish each others sentences and it’s a very comfortable thing.

I also know that there isn’t a single person on the planet that truly understands me the way he does. It’s an understanding that needs no words. I hope he feels the same.

Her weight. She’s three times the woman I started with.

You know in some ways I want to say ‘it’s all exactly the same!’ because the intensity we’ve felt for each other is still there 4 years later. We never got out of that honeymoon phase people talk about (that I don’t really believe in). And in some ways, we have been able to see each other grow through parenthood and through financial struggles and we have been able to see each other do the things we always used to say we’d do. As in, in the beginning of a relationship, all you can say to one another is ‘if this comes up, I’ll be this’ or ‘I’m not the kind of person who does this” but after some years, you can see that the person lives up to their words and that builds strength in your relationship.

We can safely say “I don’t understand what you are getting at”, or “I hear this, is that what you mean?”

We love and understand each other like crazy-psychic, telepathic, synchronicity, or whatever you can, or want to call it.

We’ve learned to adapt our fighting styles. He’s a ‘walk away and be pissed all night’ kind of guy, and is completely over it the next morning. I’m a ‘talk it out’ kind of girl, and will still be pissed off in the morning if we don’t resolve it. No matter what, I couldn’t change his style, so I now accept it. But, we’ll still have to talk about it later. He accepts that.