Have you ever realized after a break-up, that you really do love someone?

I did break up with someone and get back together with them later, but more because of my insecurity than because I actually loved them. I was in highschool, and had really low self esteem. It was a mistake. the last time I broke up with him, 3 years ago, was so good for me.

Usually, (it’s been a long time, I’ve been married over 20 years) I realized that I should have gotten out much earlier.
If I would have stayed my life would have led a different path and I wouldn’t be where I am, with the one I’m with, and he IS the one :-)

From a slightly different angle, I was in a terrible relationship with a girl I knew I loved. I realized that I truly loved her a year or two after she broke up with me when she told me she was happily in a new relationship. I remember realizing that I wasn’t jealous and that I was genuinely happy that she was happy and that’s when I realized I had truly loved her all along.

This would be further cemented when the new guy hurt her really bad and I came out of the woodwork to help her and make sure she was happy again, despite how flawed our own relationship was. Now, we both know that we will have each other’s backs for ever.

I am less than two weeks out of a breakup that I initiated, and man did I think it was going to be easy. Wrong. It was a short relationship, but intense and I thought I couldn’t wait to get away from him.

The first weekend was hell. I cried for hours. I missed him, and realized I love him.

HOWEVER – I also have the insight and courage to recognize that this person cannot love me the way I deserve to be loved, as he is still holding onto remnants of his last relationship.

So, I go between missing him, loving him, and realizing that I made the right choice – as hard as it is. At this time, I don’t want him back because of the above.

notwithstanding the breakup sex we just had :)

Well.. unfortunately this has happened twice. We broke up, I thought I loved them, and I promised it would be different. If I truly had loved them, though, I would not have done the things that ended the relationships in the first place. It only ended up hurting them worse when I convinced them to take me back, and promised that I had changed… I should have just let them go and dealt with it.

It’s hard when you love the person that you were with, and part of you always will love them for everything you had together… and you miss them tremendously some days… But, I take solace in knowing that in the long run, I probably saved him from more pain that I would have caused later on.

I have, but it has usually just been part of the transition process out of that relationship. With a bit of time I have realised that person was most definitely not for me. I think people can be a habit. We are used to doing certain things together, we are used to being with someone and then they aren’t there. For me, I know I need to give it time before I go running back to a situation I thought was bad enough to leave.

1st time he broke up with me. I thought I loved him and was crushed. I moved on and was fine—but then after about a 1.5 or 2 year time apart we dated a 2nd time. We dated for about a year and then I broke things off (mainly because I knew I was moving across the world and we just weren’t at the point in our lives where either of us was ready for a long term commitment).

We dated a 3rd time – and again, timing wasn’t right and our lives were mis-matched..that is, we were just both focused on different things that weren’t compatible.

I think I will always love him a bit (he was my first real boyfriend and our on & off dating spanned ages 16 to 26 for me)...but it got to the point where I realized that as much as we had history and all..he wasn’t the best person for me.

From my humble experience it seems to me that some amount of timing is important in determining who you ultimately build a life with..and as for this guy and I who dated 3 times… we just weren’t “in sync” ..and it began to honestly feel like: “Hey, it wasn’t right either of the last two times we tried this, so maybe it’s just not right.”

Love isn’t ALL you need. Y’know?
Seems to me you need to have two people at the right point in their lives, with some common goals and a lot of respect and LIKE for each other..in addition to love, lust and chemistry.

Yeah. I ended a relationship only to realise what a mistake I’d made afterwards.
I tried to salvage it, but it was too late. To be fair, he deserved better. I was in a bad place at the time. I’m glad I got to share that time with him and he’ll always have a soft place in my heart.

Nope. The breakup was for a reason. Once that breakup decision made, I don’t look back.
Now that doesn’t mean I didn’t love them. It also does not mean that I still do not feel love for that person. I have a great capacity to love.
To me it means that the relationship is done. My focus goes to today and hence the future.

yep. But I was wrong to get back into that relationship on a primary significant other basis. What I ended up learning is that I was correct to love the person for who she is and cherish those things that were drawing me back to her but it didn’t mean she was my soul mate.