What would you do in this roommate situation (part deux)?

Unless you have explicitly said, “We would like you to move out in August,” I don’t think you should be surprised that they don’t plan on moving out in August.

Sooner or later every adult needs to learn the techniques of confrontation. It is not easy but there are some tricks.

You call a meeting for the four of you. Having planned ahead, you know what you want to say and how you want to say it (calmly and factually).

You might want to role play with a friend before hand.

You stick to your guns and lay your cards on the table. If Sally and Bob get angry, then you must keep your cool. They may well be angry; they may well feel that you are causing problems.

Those are their issues and not yours. They are not clairvoyent and are not going to do what you want just because you wish it. There will be drama, there might be a mess. Suck it up. Do what has to be done in a fair and timely manner.

Stop all the texting and skulking about and start functioning.

As @nikipedia said, you have to explicitly tell them. You can’t dance all around the subject and expect them to understand exactly what you mean. All four of you need to sit down and discuss it. Tell them you and Josh want to live on your own and plan on keeping that apartment since you two found it, but you would be happy to help them search for their own. Also, if they pitched in on the security deposit, you will return it after they find another place.

@nikipedia I didn’t dance around the subject. The thing you should know about Sally is that she isn’t the brightest person in the world. I said, “Josh and I have been thinking and we’d like to live alone and start our lives together. We thought that August would be a good time to do that considering the lease will be up.” That seems pretty obvious as to what I’m saying. But she took it as if I said, “Well maybe we can start thinking about not having roommates anymore. What do you think?” I didn’t say that. I’m also not skulking. They’re friends, good friends, and I don’t want to cause problems.

Additionally, I don’t see how texting is a problem. Josh is out of town for work. I can’t call him and we can’t sit and have a pow-wow while he’s working 12 hours away from home.

@chyna Their security deposit went to the landlord, not to us. Why would we have to pay it back? Plus, they lived here through the entire lease (in August anyways). I don’t think I should be paying them anything.

Well, it turns out that Bob already contacted Josh and asked what was going on. When Josh explained it to him, he got miffed and said that we could have told them sooner. Since when is 5 months not enough notice for something like this?

By the nature of the situation, you have already caused problems and will continue to do so because you want them to move out, friends or not. You are waffling; you got the same advice from the collective two weeks ago (part one) and continued to vacillate.

If Bob thinks that five months is too short a time, he is entitled to think that. And you must understand that your friendship is now tainted. That is a reality.

And your statements to Sally (who may or may not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier) stops short of addressing the issue of you wanting them to move out.

You are looking for and finding excuses to avoid a very unpleasant chore. Either you do it or you don’t. As I said, adults have to learn out to deal with these situations. They arise all the time.

I was thinking that if the landlord kept the entire deposit until you and Josh move out, you need to repay their portion. But if there is another lease signed, with just the two of you, then of course the landlord needs to return their portion.

You obviously have to spell it out for them, clearly, so there are no misunderstandings.

Any reasonable person could interpret your ‘informative’ comment to Sally as, ”We are planning to move out when the lease is up.” If you want to say (especially to someone whose intelligence you question) “We want you to find a new place,” then that’s what you need to say.

I seriously doubt there’s anything you can do to make them leave, unless the landlord elects to drop their names from the lease – which may or may not be legal, depending where you are and what the rental laws are like. Unless it’s contracted elsewhere (on paper), a lease gives them all the rights you have.

@gailcalled I don’t get why I’m being practically attacked for asking a question. If you think I’m a wuss that can’t make a decision or talk to another human being, then you’re entitled to think that, but why is it so bad that I’m asking certain questions?

I’d also like to point out that you never answered the actual questions I asked regarding the lease in the event they want to stay at this place. So, I don’t think it’s exactly fair that you’re telling me what I’m doing wrong in this situation without actually answering the question(s).

I don’t see how Josh and I are causing problems with them because we want to live alone. It’s not like we’re evicting them. The lease will be up at that point. And who plans on living with roommates long-term? We all knew this wasn’t a permanent living situation.

Maybe fluther isn’t the place to go for someone like me that is simply seeking advice from others. Being insulted isn’t exactly my cup of tea. I can take someone saying that I need to just lay out the facts to my roommates, but rude comments about me as a person is a whole different story.

@bolwerk It was a one year lease. The year is up in August. Therefore, a new lease would be written up. We all signed the lease at different times, so why wouldn’t Josh and I be able to sign them alone this time around? This isn’t meant to be sarcastic, it’s an actual question. I lived with my parents before this, so I have no clue about leases and renting.

@lbwhite89 You and Josh need to fully lay your cards on the table with Bob and Sally and have to not beat around the bush to do it. Both of you should sit them down when Josh gets back from business and do this together so it isn’t on your shoulder alone.

Before sitting down with them I would have Josh go to the landlord and explain that you are asking them to leave in August when the lease is up but you are asking the landlord to back you and josh as the new leasee starting in for the new lease since you have the more stable jobs and are able to show you can pay the rent and they can’t. This will show good in your favor plus Josh has the relationship with the landlord and they don’t.

Once done this should give them ample time to let them either look for another roommate situation or a place together by themselves.

Get Bob fully informed ASAP How did Bob react when Josh texted him ? It’s not clear if you’re implying that Bob was disagreeable and caused your to be afraid to leave the room. And a txt can’t possible be a reasonable telling of what’s on your and Josh’s minds. How to lay it out “without causing a fight or any problems” who knows never a guarantee what other people will think or react. Just be honest and respectful and make a space for them to understand and cooperate.
But until you see solid signs of them planning to move out you should be making your own plans to move out.
Whether or not it’s fair for you to keep the place since you found it first it doesn’t look like you have any real leverage to force them out. A year ago you all four made an agreement to live together. In a real sense you are asking them a big favor to change the circumstance when other wise they have reasonable expectation to continue as is.

@dabbler Well Bob overheard me talking to Sally about this and decided to send Josh a text message saying something like, “So what’s this I hear about you and Lyndsey kicking us out in August?” Josh answered back telling him that we want to live alone and August is when the lease is up so that’s when we thought it would be a good time to do it. Bob replied with, “Well you could have told us sooner.” Josh then called Bob on his break and told him that this decision was just recently made and it’s 5 months away. He said that it’s nothing against them, but we just want to live alone. Bob then said, “It’s fine. We’ll talk about it when you get home.” And now I’m receiving the silent treatment.

And as I mentioned, we weren’t all put on the lease at the same time. Plus, the lease will be up for the year. At that point, all of us could move out with no issue. So why would it be a big favor to ask them to leave when our written agreement has expired?

It does not matter when you were all put on the lease. It is one contract and you are all on it.

@lbwhite89: generally leases are renewed, not automatically rewritten, unless a party chooses not to renew. Anyone leasing from the landlord has equal rights, equal responsibilities, and equal liabilities (again, unless it explicitly says otherwise, which would be highly unusual outside a commercial lease). Unless you know something about your locality’s rental laws that I don’t, you may want to do your best to resolve this amicably – the people you want out probably have all the rights you do. If you can’t do that, you almost might be better off leaving yourself.

Maybe, if this can’t be resolved amicably, the landlord could possibly elect to write a new lease for you and whoever you want to keep with you – and let you do the dirty work of taking the subtenants to court for an eviction. If you want to be able to get rid of a roommate relatively easily, you need to keep his/her name off the lease.

@bolwerk I’m hoping it won’t come to anything like eviction. If they know we want them gone, I don’t see them putting up much of a fight to stay here, but it may ruin the friendship. If it comes down to it and they do try to stay, we will just leave on our own even though it is not ideal.

Josh has spoken to the landlord and he told us that he is behind us and he would rent to us alone before renting to Bob and Sally. He sees that all they do is sit at home all day and are hardly ever working. At this point, they couldn’t afford to live here alone, which is why I felt like we should give them 5 months notice of our plans.

I hope the tension wears off and these last 5 months aren’t miserable for all of us. Who knows? We might get lucky and they will leave in August without a fight. I guess we’ll have to wait and see until then. Now that they are fully aware of the situation, there isn’t much I can do.

[mod says] Please remember: This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

OK, you have the landlord behind you.

There is really nothing you can do until August to lighten the mood or change their reactions.

You might want to give them written notice that you and Josh are taking over the lease in August and that you expect them to move out. Keep a copy.

To make that written notice more legal I would send it by certified mail where they have to sign for it so that you have something in writting that they have received it.

There are usually specific eviction laws in every locality. I’m familiar with New York City’s only. The proceeding is called a holdover proceeding, and requires actual service of notice of termination of the sublessee with a full rental period given before s/he leaves (e.g., if rent is monthly, a full rental term of a month must pass). After that period passes, an eviction can be pursued. All that assumes you have a lease, and the person you’re evicting does not.

Different places have different rules though.

If they are not paying, they have no reasonable expectations of staying. I can’t see how they have the same rights either, if they are not paying their share.

@faye They are paying. As stated in the question, they have not yet been unable to pay their share of the bills.

@bolwerk As stated numerous times, we are all listed on the lease.

It seems to me like people are answering the question without even reading it. ha.

Perhaps, then, since we’re not answering the question to your liking you may be better off consulting a lawyer.

It seems to me that you just want to shoot down everyone’s suggestion that you get the four of you together and discuss the situation openly and honestly. That’s all that is left to do.

Yes, the OP has been very defensive in this thread.

@lbwhite89: I know you’re all on the lease. I was pointing out, mainly to @creative1, that procedures vary for eviction. I described the procedure in NYC for roommates who are not on the lease. It would be rather different in a landlord-tenant situation.

@lbwhite89: every response you gave in this thread had a defensive tone.

@lbwhite89 is no longer found.