Has any one ever been so down about something that they just feel like giving up?

I used to be like that a lot. It was not fun at all! Just keep your head up and do the best you can do in life. Don’t get down because good things aren’t happening at the moment. It’ll all come to you soon. Also, do something for yourself. Buy some new clothes, indulge in your favorite dessert, or go do something crazy and random! It’ll all be over soon. I get this way a lot.

Normal, not normal? I don’t know. It happens to a lot of people, though.
If it’s just situational, meaning about one thing – say a sport or hobby; give it some time. Take a breather and go back to it, another time.
If it’s a daily feeling, on a big scale, such as life. Please, seek help. I’ve been there, made some poor choices. Things really can get better.

Thanks, @KatetheGreat, but right now I am really down because it seems like the guy I liked is avoiding me. I came home tonight needing to study for a test tomorrow night, and I don’t even feel like trying, which is not like me. I’m considering dropping the class (the professor is a horrible teacher), and I don’t even feel like showing up to take the test tomorrow night…

@cak I’m not saying how I feel is going to be a daily feeling, but I have a feeling it might take a while to get out of this funk…

@yankeetooter – I’m sorry. I know how it feels. Can you find ways to work on it, either talking to someone or getting involved with something (say a charity) to occupy your time and mind? I wish you the best.

@yankeetooter OHMYGOSH. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I went through this not too long ago with a guy. I know you may like him a lot, but if he ignores you and he’s moody all of the time (at least that is what happened to me), you know that he’s not the one. Suffer for the things that matter. If you can’t see yourself with him forever, you might need to ease towards moving on. I know it’s not easy at all. It’s easier to say than do. Just do whatever you feel is best for yourself.

What class are you taking? I mean, it’s getting late in the semester so I think it’d be best to try to rough it out. Trust me, bad professors are far too common. It’ll just show you’re strong by roughing it out!

Thanks @cak , but the one I really want to talk to about the situation seems to be acting like I have the plague right now. And it’s not helping that he’s the one who encouraged me to take the class in the first place, and told me I could do it when I wasn’t that sure of myself. Now I am doubting myself big time, and don’t even want to try any more…

@KatetheGreat Thanks, but the class just started (it’s an accelerated class), and I have until Monday to drop. I’m trying to care about the test tomorrow night, but I can’t bring myself to do it…

@yankeetooter You’ve mentioned this fella before, right. Isn’t he an instructor?

Maybe instead of focusing on this guy, you should just focus on the schooling for now.

Drop it if you don’t necessarily need it. Extra and unnecessary stress is not good to have.

@SpatzieLover Yeah, it’s him I’m talking about, but I’m really having a hard time doing that right now. My self-confidence is shot, maybe because I took the class at his recommendation. He believed that I could do well; now I don’t know if something’s wrong, but it feels like if he doesn’t want to believe in me any more, and I’m finding it impossible to believe in myself right now… @KatetheGreat I do need the class eventually, but I wondered all along if it was good to take it over 7 weeks. And that’s before I knew the guy teaching it was going to be clueless…I’m thinking maybe I should drop it this semester…

Just drop it this semester. You can take it again eventually!

@yankeetooter Have you talked to the administration at all about the professor of the class? You’ve stated elsewhere that he doesn’t know what he’s doing?

Otherwise, just do the studying as best you can, then take the test. Since you can’t get the tuition back, at least you will have tried.

@SpatzieLover I’m thinking of going to the administration, although it’s usually not my style. I would talk to the guy, but I’mnot sure what good that would do…What’s he going to do, say, “Oh, you’re right, I don’t know the material, I’ll stop teaching right now…” I doubt it. I thought you meant to talk to the administration about the other guy, but he hasn’t done anything wrong. Just me getting my hopes up too much I guess, and misinterpreting his friendliness and encouragement of a former student. I’m not sure how I’m going to do getting over this, though…I could take the test, but I know I’m not going to do well based on how my studying went tonight, and I’m almost too tired to make the effort… @KatetheGreat , you may have the answer, although I’ll be disappointed in myself if I do so…

depression?

@JonnyCeltics Just how I feel right now…

Sorry that you are feeling low, @yankeetooter. Just know that this too shall pass.

If possible, try to separate your feelings about the class from the your feelings about the guy.

Make a logical decision about the class and stick to it.

Thanks @marinelife. I think, based on how it’s going that I’m going to drop the class. I don’t feel very motivated right now, for a number of reasons, but I think that’s for the best…

If you have until Monday to drop the class, why don’t you take the test and see how you do on it before making that decision.

@yankeetooter this is because of a power that you are giving him over you. So, my advice, get some ice cream, think about your girl friends, call one of them if necessary, basically just don’t worry about the guy. He’s not that important and does not deserve your stress. I promise.

@WestRiverrat because I feel it’s going to be an exercise in futility, based on how my studying went tonight…hopefully after a night’s sleep, I’ll be willing to give it a go, but I’m not sure…

@ziegler If the power I’m giving him over me is based on how much I like the guy, well, then yes, I guess so. But when he was encouraging me, I felt like that was working in my favor.

I did have a “moment” a few months back where it wasn’t a pull out the Remington and end it all…not even close. But it was a “I just don’t want to do this anymore” and you can’t make me. There was an extraordinary amount of extra challenges on top of the usual day to day stuff I had learned to compartmentalize and even deftly ignore….but the cumulative effect was almost too much.

I had a good friend tell me over and over you will be fine….as much as I didn’t want to believe them it helped me realize I could do whatever I want to do. Those words kept my head above water. ;)

Good friends are a valuable asset when your back is up against the wall. They do see things you may not and a good friend will tell you what you need to hear whether or not it is what you want to hear.

@yankeetooter I mean, honestly though, don’t worry about him. He might have a really good reason for acting like this. Focus on school. Think about him later. Listen to some music to help you focus.

I agree @ziegler . @yankeetooter I highly doubt you went back to school after a 22yr hiatus, to have all of your plans railroaded by some guy. Put on an uplifting CD or have a funny movie playing in the background while you study away.

@Cruiser and I’m really trying to believe in myself, and to remember that, no matter how things work out with him, he probably still believes I can do well in the class. Thank you. Thanks @ziegler , I’ll try…think I’ll go for an early start though and hit the hay tonight…too tired to deal with Differential Equations at this point… @SpatzieLover What do mean by railroading?

@yankeetooter Don’t let some guy mess up your educational goals. Forget about him.

@SpatzieLover Probably impossible…but I’ll try to stay on top of my goals…

@SpatzieLover I just looked up the definition of railroading someone…he in no way did this. I had several weeks to think over what he said, and decided on my own to go ahead and take the class. He was just trying to be encouraging…

I don’t think “he” railroaded your plans. I think you devoting your energy & time thinking about him instead of your classes is..

The only thing you can alter about this situation you’re in is your mindset. If you cannot fathom how you will pass this test, you probably won’t pass. If you can’t fathom how you will get through a day without thinking about this guy, you probably won’t be able to.

Ah…sorry I misunderstood your comment. You’re right-it’s all in one’s attitude…

@yankeetooter I’m certain you can do this. I thought @cockswain gave a good link here for this website. All you can do is try your best. If you’re not confident about talking to the administration, write them a letter or an email.

Thanks @SpatzieLover I almost forgot about this link…Yikes!

We’ve all been there, @yankeetooter, over one thing or another. I’m sorry you’re going through it now.

If you can find it in you, go ahead and take that test. Good luck!

Well obviously it depends what it is, but yes, and should you just throw in the towel? Well again it depends what it is you feel like giving up. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do, at least for now but at other times, you just need to give yourself time to regroup and try again or to get some advice on a different way to approach the situation.

You know what honey, you can walk away from the test (and subject) or you can go ahead and sit it. If you fail the test, well, try again. You never know though, you might surprise yourself and pass :-) At least you will have tried. That in itself shows character, and strength, which you absolutely have honey, you’ve just had your confidence knocked is all.

In answer to your question, I have felt like this so many times over the years, not about a boy, but its all relative, because whatever causes these feelings, usually its something that you have made central to your happiness (at that point in your life) hence the feeling that if you can’t have or achieve….. then nothing else matters. Lots of my fellow jellies have given some great advice above, if this guy is in fact avoiding you, then you can do so much better than someone who could treat you like this. My Grandmother told me when I was young that “folk will only treat you the way you allow them to” and she was sooooooo right. You are a sweet, kind, wonderful person and anyone you decide to devote any of your time to had better understand and apprectiate that and treat you accordingly. It’s up to you to make sure that they do this, or that they’re kicked to the kerb if they don’t. The world is full of too many jerks honey, don’t allow them to waste your time, and don’t scarifice your future (your studies) because of them. Sending hugs xx

@bunnygrl I’m sitting here practically crying over your post (in a good way, I think). I’m going to go and try to take the test, though I’m not sure how I’ll do. I’m not sure he’s being a jerk; he may just not be interested in me, and that’s something I have to deal with, but it really hurts right now.

<hugs @yankeetooter very tightly> honey I so wish I could make this go away for you, and maybe he’s not being a jerk, but you are worth so much more. This is such an exciting time in your life. I remember when I was at college, I have so many happy memories of those three years and a few bad ones too if I’m honest, but they are soooooooo outnumbered by good ones that I simply choose to remember all the good stuff, and there was a LOT of good stuff lol.

Years from now honey, I promise you’ll look back at these years and you’ll smile, because its the start of who you’ll become. All of the experiences you have while at college shape the kind of person you end up being. Just from your posts, I can already see that you are such a kind, sweet natured, lovely person. Unfortunately it’s kind, sweet people who tend to get hurt the most, which sucks big time, but they also get stronger from it. You’ll make the world a better place sweetheart (you’re already doing that without even knowing it) because you have such a big heart. With all of the challenges the world faces, it needs people who care, and if they care too much, well thats a good thing too. Keep smiling dear fellow jelly, and I’m so happy you’ll take your test, no matter the result, you’ve already won just by turning up :-) I’m so proud of you. Sending mountains of hugs xx

Thanks @bunnygrl Now I really am crying…:)

@yankeetooter you show em honey, ace that test! and then imagine what you can do with a subject you really love? You’ll kick academic butt :-) <throws mountains more hugs and goes off to start filling up the little huggy truck to deliver more> xx

Problem is, math is usually the subject I love (and it’s my major). Just not finding any passion for it right now (and the professor I have is lousy to boot, so there’s no inspiration there.)

Oh dear. OK it’s the professor’s fault definitely. During my first year at Uni I studied politics. I had a passion for it, still do… while typing this I am watching the BBC Parliament channel, which is right now showing a live debate from the House of Commons where they are discussing humanitarian relief and Libya….. how many jellies have now fallen asleep? :-) I get that. Most folk are bored rigid by politics, but I LOVE it. Now, having said that, I remember having one Politics professor who constantly looked at his watch. Honestly. I swear. Checked out his watch all through his lecture and spoke in one long… I mean REALLY long… unbroken sentence with no change in tone or pitch whatsoever. OMG it was torture!!! To add insult to injury (the attempted murder of a subject I was passionate about lol), he made us all buy his book at the start of term which we didn’t have a single need to open for the whole course!! It should be said that I used my copy as a door stop lol.

Anyway, I got past him, and got through anyway lol. I had to work a bit harder but got there in the end, and you will too honey. Why do they let these people teach? Have they done it for so long that they’ve bored themselves as much as they’re boring their students who are forced to listen to them? When I used to sit there putting up with him, and wishing I could just rip his watch off and stomp on it lol, I used to remember the old saying “those who can do… those who can’t teach.” maybe he’s a rubbish teacher because he hasn’t succeeded at anything else? whatever the reason, he shouldn’t be teaching, no more than that clown who taught my first year politics should have been either.

The solution is easy, he must just be tolerated and gotten past just to spite him and his terrible teaching. What you can’t allow him to do is to take away your love of Maths honey. Way to go by the way, because I could never get my head round maths, it still scares me, and its your major? this to my mind makes you a boffin of the first degree (up there with the wonderful Mr Stephen Fry in brainpower, and I do not say that lightly) and I am in awe. What might help is to have a mental image you can concentrate on which might help his lectures pass easier. Like a mental image of you holding your degree, and then soundly tapping him repeatedly on the end of the nose with it while saying “IN SPITE OF YOU!!!” lol :-) huggles honey xx

@bunnygrl Or the image of you ripping your professor’s watch off his arm and stomping it..too funny! Yeah, once I get past this guy I’ll be fine. It’s funny because I am now interested in Physics too after the last two semesters. The passion for teaching your subject matter (or lack thereof) can so inspire (or discourage) a student!

It’s funny, because I’m in my car a little while ago, with my Oriole jacket on (and it’s quite cold and nasty out, I might add) and all of a sudden I’m reminded of the fact that I’m not one to give up on things, be they difficult classes or my team that hasn’t done so well the past how many years. (I guess wearing my jacket reminded me of this, lol!)

So I’m leaving early today (for what it’s worth) and I’m going over to school and study and I’m going to try my best on this test…only time will tell where things will go from there…thanks Orioles!...and everyone on this forum, especially you bunnygrl!

yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @yankeetooter!!!! you go honey!!!!! huggles xx

Thanks @bunnygrl !

I thought I’d give everyone an update on what happened with my test. Well, here’s what happened. I was too busy all day to get any studying done during work, but I felt greatly encouraged by everyone here…:) I asked to leave early, and was told I could leave at 3:00 when our training was done but then it ran over and I couldn’t leave until 3:30. I got to school and tried to study some more, but I was feeling overwhelmed and felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere.

Well, at this point I’m feeling very discouraged and I feel like quitting again. I pack up my stuff and leave, but when I get outside I realize that this guy Chris who’s in my class, and who took Physics with me the last two semesters, won’t know why I never showed up for the test (or ever again, since I was intending to drop the class at that point.) I felt bad about this, especially since he’s been trying to help me with the Matlab program that we’re supposed to learn, so I decide to wait around until he gets there and tell him.

He finally shows up, and I’m telling him what’s up, and he convinces me that I should at least stay and take the test, and that I can always drop the class later. I go in and take the test and it was actually okay (feel free to say I told you so.) There were six problems, one a two-parter, but he didn’t tell us how many points wach problem was worth, which I hate. That should be a requirement…I got 4 of the 6 problems for sure, including the 2-part…er. One I didn’t have a clue, not even how to set up, the other I may have got a few points on. So we’ll see…

Thank goodness for those engineering people and their encouragement! And everyone on Fluther too! I wouldn’t even had made it over to school if everyone here, especially bunnygrl, hadn’t been encouraging me and cheering me on all day…

Glad to hear things are looking better today. You may want to buy Chris lunch and thank him for the encouragement.

He may be just what you need to get over the other guy’s inattention.

Well, @WestRiverrat, he’s a bit too young for me (by about 17 years or so), and he has someone…so that won’t work. Nice thought though.

@yankeetooter You could still offer him a hearty thanks. Glad to hear it went well. Thank you for the update! YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!! what amazing fantastic news to wake up to!!!! <hugs @yankeetooter very tightly> I am so excited!!! well done honey, well done I’m so proud of you!!!! I so wish you were actually here because then we could jump up and down together but I’m doing it here on my own anyway lol I’m so happy for you I could just burst!!! yyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I might have told you before honey that I didn’t go to college till I was 29, and OMG I was terrified. I was such a mouse back then, honestly, I wouldn’t have said boo to my shadow, but college changed me in ways I don’t even know how to describe. I went from this quiet little wallflower to the one who yelled at firemen on nights out <blush… that sounds awful but was fun and I’m sure they liked it really lol… and it did only go as far as… er.. admiring…. I was married after all…. hee hee…. do you know I still have a little handbag sized fireman I got as a gift from a friend before we finished our course… hee hee… fun days> Seriously though, going back to school I found terrifying but it was positively one of the best things I’ve ever done and totally changed me, for the better I think, and as I said yesterday, I have soooooooooooo many great memories :-)

Things like exams I’m sure are as scary for our younger jellies but when you’ve been away and gone back to learning later on, well in the beginning I had this voice in my head that used to tell me I couldn’t do it, I was going to fail, what was the use of trying etc etc, and it was bloody hard to get past, but if you can get past that daft voice (which is nothing more than insecurity) OMG it feels wonderful to be at the other end looking back on it, saying “I did that!!”. I’m so so proud of you honey, that was a real achievement yesterday, you had a challenge and you didn’t let it get the better of you, you kicked it’s butt and I’m so happy I could just explode. I wish I could hug you for real but all I can do is ((((((((((((((((((((((((squeezy hugs for @yankeetooter)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I’m going to be grinning all day now!!!! Thank you so much for the update, I was thinking about you all last evening and sending “thought hugs” lol yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! today is going to be a fabulous day because it’s started with me bouncing around and yelling…. wonder what my neighbour thinks i’m up to…... LOL LOL LOL huggles dear @yankeetooter you’ve absolutely made my day!!!!! xx

You have a picture of Alan Rickman as you avatar? Is this new, or did my self-absorbed self miss this yesterday. I love Alan Rickman, especially as Snape…

@yankeetooter LOL yep Mr Rickman ooooooooooooooooooooooo <chews on keyboard and falls off chair> the man has a voice that feels like being gently stroked with the softest velvet…. and do NOT even get me started on the dear professor…. I’d happily take detention with him in a heartbeat….. oh Professor I’ve been a bad girl….. hee hee hee :-) lovely to meet a fellow fan honey huggles xx

ps: ”....for those select few…who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper in death.”
Severus Snape in “Harry potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” (it’s also what I hear when I start up my laptop :-)

Wow-I have to look into how to add that to my computer. One thing that always attracts me to someone is the timbre of their voice, Alan Rickman being a fine example of that. That’s also why I like Vin Diesel; it’s not the muscles (those are nice, lol!) or the bald head (not into that), but his voice that does something to me. Also, the guy I like right now…when he’s standing next to me talking to me, his voice goes right down my spine (and in a good way…)

It’s no good…I’ve tried to detach my feelings for this guy from everything else, but tonight I got a big signal that he wants nothing to do with me, and I feel like absolutely giving up…I’m never going to have any one in my life at this rate…

You can’t think like that honey <hugs> You know that old saying that “this too shall pass” I always used to think that was a useless thing that folk said to just try to make people feel better till I had some genuinely horrible things happen in my life, and I discovered that it was true. No matter what happens, it will, and does, resolve itself eventually. Not always the way we want it too, but it does and time helps. None of which helps right now I know.

I wish I had an answer for you honey, I reallly do. All I can suggest is keeping yourself really busy, too occupied to have time to think about this guy, which I know will seem impossible right now, you have your coursework, call some friends to hang out? start a new project to fill any empty time, maybe something that you’ve wanted to make a start on for a while but haven’t gotten round to? Anything at all that can act as a distraction, even for a little while.

I’m having to dash out to work right now (start my shift in about half an hour but will check in again when i get home, (don’t finish till after 8pm tonight though) try to keep smiling honey, it’ll get better, really it will. <hugs tightly> xx
ps: will type out how I added sound files to my computer for you later when I have time, it’s fun and so easy its unbelieveable! well it would have to be easy for me to be able to do it lol :-)

Thanks, @bunnygrl, trying to convince myself that I should go to class tonight…all the wind has been knocked out of my sails, though…

<hugs> just sent you a PM honey, you’ll be fine, you’ll see.
huggles xx

Thanks…got it.