Is it fair that I spend money on my hobbies while my Partner has none?

Are you taking away from something you should be buying such as food for your kids? If not, I wouldn’t worry about it. Thirty dollars a week doesn’t sound like very much to spend on yourself especially if you consider how many people spend more than that a week on lunch, magazines, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.

Every budget should include “entertainment.” I think this is your form of entertainment, as are any outings with your S/O or friends/family. Figure out what you can spend and spend it as it suits you. Make sure your S/O has funds available to do the same, whether a beer with friends or the PPV wrestling event he/she just has to watch. We built the Fox Soccer Channel into our budget as entertainment for my husband.

That’s my take, anyway.

“Allowed”!?

I’m sorry that’s the flashing red light for me. Is this $30/week an amount you both agreed to after coming up with a budget together? If the basic needs of the household, the well-being of the children, emergency funds and savings for the future are taken care of, then you should be able to spend on yourself as you like, including your hobbies. What if you could make money with your hobby? Is that a possibility?

Mind, that’s merely my opinion based on the info given in your question. Parenting benefits is still income.

This is really for you two to work out, no one can really say what is right for you and your partner. My husband currently is the bread winner, and he has very very expensive hobbies. But, since he is the big breadwinner I feel he should be able to have fun doing what he loves. He does keep it in check to some extent though. He uses “extra” money, meaning bonus money, or savings that have accrued. The expense is not really part of our monthly expenses.

If I had a very expensive hobby, I would feel odd having my husband foot the bill completely I think? But, yours is not very expensive, I don’t think it should be an issue. Is he fine with you not working in general, or does he say other things to indicate he wishes you make some money in general?

Plus, didn’t his computer cost some money? And, his internet connection?

@chyna thanks, I usually go over the $30 thats the problem, its so easy to do, he transfers any extra money out of my account so im not “tempted to spend” and we do have a very strickt budget as we are paying off 2 loans.

@Taciturnu Thanks, the original spending money allowance was $50 but i agreed to pay $20 off our credit card when we maxed it out last christmas. Thats the thing, he doesnt socalise either :( we download old sci-fi and watch that instead of tv lol

@aprilsimnel I see what your saying, our budget is really tight with a 12,000 car loan and 90,000 loan last year, I try to spend $150 or less on groserys per week, but usually go over.
On the other hand i do have a few luxurys too like because im way behind with my housework i have a cleaner once a week come help out.

@JLeslie Computers do cos money, but we do have one each, and the one internet connection, so i dont know… maybe it doesnt count.

What are parenting benefits exactly? It sounds like your husband is upset about the amount of spending you are doing and the only way to deal with it is to talk about it. If $30 a week isn’t enough for your entertainment, then perhaps you need to talk to him about it and come up with a new budget plan. You said that he is the main income, do you have any income of your own or are the two of you living strictly off his income? Perhaps he is worried about the finances. Try sitting down and talking about it to see how it goes.

It sounds like one person drew up the budget and the other does the household shopping. If you guys put yourselves in the others shoes then you’d see the others point of view. If all he does is play computer games, he’s also using electricity at least and if it’s internet based, then to be pedantic, you’d have to add in internet/phone/broadband costs in too.

There’s no one persons right, other person is wrong. If you guys are partners, then it should be shared in whatever proportion and duty you agree on. It’s when one person start to feels short changed, that the arguments start.

Your budget sounds really tight, you guys don’t have the same spending and saving strategy. Like a football team, all the players has to be on the same side to make things work.

Welcome @AussiemumJen you need to have budget for the household with a “spend it on anything amount for each of you” but you and S/O need to make and follow that budget – week in and week out.

@AussiemumJen From the sounds of it, you’re having trouble sticking to budgets in general. I hope you don’t take offense, but perhaps your husband wouldn’t be upset with your expenditures if you stayed on budget with other expenses. My personal suggestion would be to take only the allotted amount of cash for whatever expense you’re trying to cover. If your budget gives you $150 for groceries, only take $150 in cash. Do not leave yourself with cards to cover overages or back up money. You may have a few embarrassing moments of not having enough money and putting something back, but you will be forced to stick to your outlined expenses. When you can stay within your budget, you can re-address the issue of your hobby money.

Unless you are in some financial dire straights, every household budget really needs some room for discretionary spending. The number is determined and agreed to mutually.
That way you remove the guilt or arguments or resentment.
Review your budget periodically and one person should never have complete control.
Its a two way street and it need to be mutual.

I think @ninjaapantz is making some sense. If you are saving nothing, which I am not sure is the case, I would be concerned.

True, if you both have computers it might be a bad example.

You spend $1560 a year on your hobbie. When I add it up, does it have a different ring to it? Can you cut something else? Can you take on a part time job? Probably you could easily make $5k a year.

The thing about being the bread winner is it is not necessarily that he feels like it is his money, and he lets you use it, but there is usually a heavy psychological burden or pressure supporting the family, and if he sees the money gone every month, or worse you are going deeper into debt, it creates a lot of stress. For some men they might feel inadequate as bread winners. There is all sorts of psychological stuff tied up with how people make, spend, amd save money.

If I were the bread winner spending practically nothing, and I had no savings, I would be unhappy with my spouse spending money on “unnecessary” things also.

Do you sell your crafts?

@JLeslie I think you may have hit the nail on the head with that one, Ill bet he’s feeling something like that, hehe thats what i was about to say, I have plans to make ands sell things, so i see these things as an investment rather than an expense, which is where we have a problem. :)

Thankyou everyone for your comments its amazing how many there are :)

Try putting the shoe on the other foot. If you were the one working and your husband wasn’t, how would you feel if he was spending more than an agreed upon amount each month that brings little to no value to the household, and spends money on a cleaning service when he isn’t working?

Many people divorce due to financial disagreements. If you love your husband, sit down together and come up with a realistic budget that works towards paying off debts and saving money for emergencies and retirement.

@AussiemumJen I guess you’ll stick around then :) we’re a good group, uh collective rather.

@JLeslie said something that hit home with me.—My husband and I used to be in the same situation. Roles were reversed. I was the sole income, he was the spender…on many hobbies. There is a heavy psychological burden (or pressure) on supporting the family. (There was more, and it all made a lot of sense.)

If you are looking to sell your crafts, have you considered Etsy? It could be a good place for you to sell your crafts.

I think it depends on whether the other bills are paid and whether there is anything he actually wants to spend money on. From the sounds of it, he doesn’t have the sort of money-drains that I do (RPG rulebooks are pricey, as is my favorite brand of beer) but I wonder if that is because he feels you can’t afford it and thus denies himself or whether he is merely frugal.

It is also possible that he is complaining in general because he has hobbies that are too pricey and is a bit jealous that you can do what you want but he can’t. I mean, if I indulged in my hobbies, it would quickly run into the thousands; do you have any idea how much pen-and-paper gaming or R/C cars cost? Or the cost of a decent CNC machine shop? I bet you that a brand new 5-axis Mori Seiki costs more than your house! I doubt he has hobbies quite that expensive, but if he wants to spend a couple of grand on a woodshop or an uber-gaming PC, I can see how he might complain about you going over-budget.

Actually, I can see how he would complain about that anyways since your household budget may not have enough slack in it to allow for that sort of cost overrun. I know that if I go over my personal budget and have to cut into our joint account, I catch hell for it. So maybe you need to dial it back a notch. Yeah, it sucks that I can only get one new rulebook a month unless I want to cut other things out of my personal budget, but the alternative is to not have enough gas to get to work, losing the insurance on my car, starving, and/or getting evicted, so I just grumble and tighten my belt.

@aprilsimnel I think it likely that the OP has an arrangement not unlike what my wife and I have had for years. I currently get $40/wk myself, and much of that goes to lunch. Maybe the real issue is the overspending.

@blueiiznh Exactly! If you have zero discretionary spending you’ll go nuts, but if you don’t have a mutually agreed upon number the consequences are far worse. And if you can’t talk about a household budget or one person has complete control then your relationship has other issues.

Turn your hobby into a business & put something back into the family budget, that way you’ll have your own money to spend, maybe a little more than you do now :-/

Hi @AussiemumJen. While I understand playing games on a computer does cost money, if you are both using your internet connection, it probably doesn’t feel to him as though he is spending anything and this would especially be true if you use the internet connection quite a bit too.

I agree with everyone else here that some entertainment/or free spending money should be factored into any budget, but perhaps his focus is on getting you both out of debt? I think you should try to stick within your $30 limit and do the same with other areas of spending too. The other thing is, do you have to have a cleaner? Or if you feel it is essential, can you cut it down to once every couple of weeks instead of every week? That would save you quite a bit I would think and it would also show him that you are committed to saving and ensuring your debts are paid off as soon as possible.

The decision should be talked over with your spouse, as long as both of you come to an agreement. It should be alright to spend money on a hobby, even if your spouse does not have a hobby.Good luck with your decision.

Does time spent on your hobby interfere with your ability to stay on top of keeping the house clean? Perhaps the real issue is that your hobby actually costs the $30 a week and the cost of the house cleaner, and therein lies your husband’s real complaint.

Both parties have to agree on what is priority and what is discretionary. If you both agree, then you can play fair. If not everything is discussed, other budget issues will come up again. Talk it out and find out how he really feels, listen, explain what you’re feeling too. If you do it in away as to be not confrontational and with respect, you have won half the battle. Money issues is tied to ones values. How you show respect to each other, independence, dependance, responsibility to name just a few. Money is a metaphor.

@AussiemumJen Just curious, did you ever work full time and pay all your bills yourself? Live on your own?

Do you and your husband agree on how much savings you want to have?

Whatever discretionary income that you two have left over after expenses for the month and savings, should be split between you.

The answer to the question you first asked is an enthusiastic “Yes!” it is very much ok for you to spend money on something so enriching as craft supplies.
Subsequent notes show the problem is getting outside the budget. Stick to the budget, it’s a commitment and should be honoured like any other promise.
It’s not fair for him to criticize your spending on craft supplies, it is fair for him to object to going outside the budget you have made. If the budget doesn’t work, renegotiate a workable plan.

I wish I could afford $120–150 a month for craft supplies :). That is what $30 a week averages out to if you think about it.

I guess I’m in the minority on this opinion but I don’t think that’s such a paltry sum.

And add in paying someone else to come and do my housework on a weekly basis instead of having to do it myself and I’d be a happy camper.

You didn’t mention how much that charge is but I know that it’s definitely NOT cheap.

I don’t think your husband’s problem is the comparison between your hobby spending vs. his. He may choose to express it that way but I think the overall picture is the primary factor.

If I were the sole breadwinner of a family which included two children and we had a whopping one hundred and two thousand dollar loan hanging over our heads, I’d likely be in full-on penny pinching mode for EVERYTHING. The interest alone on that would be enough to give me pause.

I also do crafts so I’m certainly not unfamiliar with craft store prices. What hobby(ies) are you into that cost so much?

The only area that springs to mind offhand that is ridiculously overpriced is anything involving stamping and scrapbooking. Materials for those are so sky-high it borders on criminal. But they get away with it because it’s such a craze.

Anyway, everything in marriage is negotiable. So you and your husband just have to get really good at communicating. It takes practice but the only way this will work is with consensus.

But with that large an amount of loan obligation in the picture it’s not going to be easy. I can understand your husbands concern.

If you are on a tight budget, then $30 a week for hobbies seems generous to me. I don’t think your husband is being a tyrant, he might just be trying to get your family in a better place financially. And he is allowing enough money for you to pursue your hobby, so it’s all good – right?

@Buttonstc True, but I know some people that are accustomed to a rather richer lifestyle who don’t understand how people can live on “only” $200k/yr. I mean, $30/wk may be considered paltry for someone who is used to $50/day or more. During my time in the Navy, I had no real bills, so my entire paycheck was “play money” so I could (and did) spend about ten times as much as I do now. When I grew up a little and got some financial responsibility put on me, taking a 90% cut kind of sucked.
Also, is it just me, or would there be more money available if there wasn’t a hired cleaner in the picture? If I hired a cleaner, I wouldn’t be able to get the $40/wk I do now, and we’d probably still have to make more cuts.

@jerv I don’t have much sympathy for those who are accustomed to a richer lifestyle than they can currently live. Things change – so you aren’t a princess anymore. I can say that because my parents were quite wealthy and I had everything growing up. Then I went off on my own and got married, and we had nothing! I have been rich, poor, and everything in between. What you are accustomed to means nothing – what you have now is what you have to work with.

It’s NOT fair if he wants to do something but can’t afford it. It is fair if he doesn’t care to have hobbies.

Well, back to the original question. You seem to be more concerned that your husband complains about giving you the $30 a week – not really about the amount. The only “fair” thing would be to budget for him to have the same amount, whether he wants to save it, spend it, or whatever. If you can’t afford for both of you to have $30 a week, then you could split the $30 and each get $15. It isn’t a good argument that you do something constructive with your portion and he doesn’t. Fair is fair.

When my husband was alive, he was an avid beer drinker. He spent as much as a car payment on beer every month. So, I went out and bought myself a car. We still each got the same amount of “free” money and didn’t have to justify to each other what we were doing with it.

Since he is complaining, that automatically means something is wrong. Perhaps some counseling would be a good idea, or do some research on the internet for budget ideas.

@jerv

No, it’s not just you. In my opinion, hiring a WEEKLY cleaner when one has a debt exceeding a hundred grand hanging over ones head is really difficult to justify.

I’m sure that the amount spent to hire a cleaner is significantly higher than the $120–150 per month for craft supplies. But the absence of her stating a specific amount was one of the first things which caught my eye.

If one is independently wealthy then stuff like that doesn’t matter much. But when it’s necessary for a family to be that heavily into debt partly to play catch-up on Christmas present extravagance, something is seriously out of whack. I’m certain that children that young could have had a very enjoyable Christmas for a quarter of what was spent, or likely even less. Kids that age are just not as impressed by expensive gifts as adults seem to think they are. Teenagers are a different story altogether but very young children are impressed with things differently.

I’m certainly not suggesting a Spartan barebones celebration with no presents, but if you have to go into significant debt to impress your kids and make them happy at this young an age, you’ll really reap the whirlwind by the time they do reach their teens.

I may be the only one to feel this way, but the impression I get from the facts and amounts recounted of the debt to spending ratio in this case, that the husband is much more in touch with the financial reality here. He may not have expressed it in the best possible way by comparing hobby expenses, but he is clearly feeling the pressure of the total debt load and the responsibility for providing for his family. Believe me, it’s not the craft budget that’s the real issue. It was just the most glaringly obvious item to focus upon.

Maybe I’ve been listening to too much Suze Orman or the Rich Dad, Poor Dad guy, but I find it difficult to believe that any savvy financial expert presented with this financial picture wouldn’t think that the situation needed some serious overhaul and reevaluation of priorities.

Basically, if you have a “champagne taste on a beer-budget” approach, something’s gotta give. Especially with the current state of the economy.

With that much debt, you cannot afford to have a housekeeper and a hobby and stay home. PERIOD. Something has to give. You both need to sit down and discuss this. If you think you both won’t come to an agreement, find a good marriage counselor/therapist that can assist you both to come to terms with this.

We have debt, and I stay home. There is no way we could afford a housekeeper. Instead, sometimes we just have to plan to both clean or work on a project together, if it can’t be accomplished by one person.

@Buttonstc You are not alone. There are other things I’m play here; it’s not just the craft budget. Maybe it’s the inability to stick to the budget without going over. My wife gets that way when she thinks I overspend even when it’s something I save up for a couple of weeks for and our debt is less than one-twentieth of the OP’s.

I don’t know how I missed the house cleaner. Something would have to give. If you are home, is there a reason you need a house cleaner? I used one, occasionally, when I was sick, but not now – even though I run an active business, out of my house.

Some of you were more direct than I was, but that was the point I was making in my post. Both my husband and I work and I would LOVE to have someone come in and clean for us. We both work long hours and given the nature of our work, often have to work at home too. We just can’t justify the $80–100 plus it would cost a week though. That’s what people have told me they are spending here in Australia. A cleaner is a luxury and you can’t (as has been said) have it all.

If the craft work is so important (and especially if it really does offer the opportunity to bring some income in which would be great) ditch the cleaner until you are earning that additional money. I think the husband is getting a bit of a raw deal here. He works full time and wants to pay off their debt (something that would be good for both of them) and we are judging him for getting upset that his partner, who stays home AND has a cleaner, wants to spend in excess of $30 a week on her hobby.

I think if you stay home, you should take the lions share of the cleaning work and I know the OP has children, but I think many of us here have managed to keep house and raise children. I am not seeing an unreasonable husband here.

@Mz_Lizzy I have to say that a stay-at-home spouse should be able to clean the house themselves. I know that when I was unemployed and my wife worked, I was the one that did everything around the house. It’s a bit different when both partners work, but come on!

The big problem is that you’re going over-budget. If you stick to a budget you’ve both agreed on and he still complains, then that wouldn’t be fair.

@jerv I was a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. Three kids, plus a big house, plus various ailments meant I could never stay on top of the housework. We hired a cleaning person to come every two weeks, and it made our lives immeasurably better. I’d do it again, if I could afford it.

@jerv Small children can really cause the issue/need here. A dad should be willing to give a hand

@augustlan I think the “various ailments” is cause for granting a pass that I would not give a healthy person.

@SpatzieLover I’ve seen single parents with a couple of small kids keep on top of the household cleaning even though they worked 35–40 hours a week, so I don’t think it too onerous for someone who is part of a couple and who doesn’t contribute as much financially as their partner does to compensate in non-financial ways.

This really is a mute question without seeing all the numbers.
If you have 2 loans, you need to cut to the core to get yourself out of those before you go off spending on hobbies. Your hobbies really don’t REQUIRE you to spend. Food, loans, electric, heat, water are the real requires. Everything else like internet, phone, etc are not required.
I don’t know, but your 2 loans may be there for many reasons, but you need to get those taken care of. Life will go on for awhile without buying supplies for hobbies. It gets really sucky when you don’t pay for the electric or heat.
Figure your priorities out and stick with them. Your 2 kids at any age can respect and understand and cope without a single gift for holidays if that is what is needed to survive. Too many people go into debt because they think they need to overspend on holidays or these other things. If you have the funds to do it, enjoy it. But if you don’t, suck it up and fix it.

@jerv it just depends on the person. My sister-in-law hates housework, even when she worked ony part time, spent days at the tennis club, she had someine come and clean her house. Part of it was cultural I think? She grew up with a maid in the house, and counted that expense like rent, and gas for the car. In America few people think of having a maid clean their house as a standard expense, it is more of a luxury. But, I think Americans should change that, especially married with young children. So many women say the best aphrodisiac is their husband helpig with housework. Because when everyone is exhausted they have shorter tempers, less energy for conversations and sex, and more likely to be annoyed the other person did not quite finish their household chores. If they don’t have enough money to afford, then I say they are being irresponsible, and should either give up an hour each a week to maintain the household, or live with the house a little less clean. If people can pay their bills, and choose to spend money on a maid, I don’t judge it.

@AussiemumJen How about suggest to your husband you give up the maid if he will do XYZ chore, and you will do the rest. Maybe give him floors, carpet, and you do bathrooms and dusting. It will be working together, so it might feel like a nice accomplishment. Give up an hour of crafting a week, maybe cut back to $100 a month, and he will give up some time on the computer. You can use the $30 for a nice dinner. That is unless you eat dinner out all of the time? Then we need to lecture you on that. Lol.

Maybe there are other expenses you can cut outside of these, and keep the maid and the crafts. If you drink alcohol at all, stop. That is such a huge waste of money. Shop for clothes a lot, stop for the next 3 months cold turkey. If you use paper plates, don’t. Turn up your air conditioner when you are out of he house. Make sure you turn all small electrics off. Unplug TV’s, clocks, DVD’s not regularly used. Lots of ideas.

@JLeslie After a hard day at the foundry, I don’t really feel like taking the time to do laundry or dishes, but I do those things anyways. I agree that rich people have a different idea of what is required than poor people. Rich people pay a mechanic hundreds of dollars for stuff that I do for less than $100; for me, a mechanic is not a required expense. And you don’t need special skills to fold clothes or put stuff back where it belongs.
Personally, I consider that decadence, and completely unnecessary, but if someone grew up spoiled, I can see how their perception of reality might get skewed.

@JLeslie Great Answer

@jerv You don’t need to be rich to have a maid, many middle class people in America can afford it, but most spend on other things; maybe it is dinner out several times a week, or wine with dinner, or cars more expensive than necessary, or expensive hotel n vacationrather than the more moderate one. I think yodur statement reinforces my generalizationof how Americans think about having a maid. American women will spend $150 on a cut and highlights every 6 to 8 weeks, or go through a 6 pack of beer every two days, or get manicure and pedicures, etc. Many average Americans do a lot of those things.

@blueiiznh Thanks.

@jerv having funds available to hire a maid or have a good mechanic to do something does not mean they are spoiled or have a skewed perception of reality. In fact, for the people I would classify as being very well off are quite the opposite of what you state.
I am quite capable of doing those things you mentioned but truly glad to have the ability to allow and pay for someone else to take that burden off me periodically so I can spend quality time doing other things. I think sometimes people let their pride get in the way of paying others to do something and say “I am not going to pay someone else something I can do better myself”. But that is their choice.
Again as the OP stated, it’s a matter of what you can and should do with what you have or have not. All a balance and compromise is indeed needed to make it work.

@blueiiznh Agree with you on having the ability to pay someone to do some things to free up time that I would rather spend elsewhere. I am capable of mowing my own grass, but I have an acre and it would take me a couple hours at least to mow, weedeat, etc. I spent most Saturdays the last few years taking my mom to the store or just doing chores for her. I wouldn’t have had that much time if I had to take care of my own yard.

I have no problem with people having a cleaner come in to help out if they can afford it and I don’t care if the person works or not. If they have the funds available and are happy to pay someone to do those menial chores, great. You are giving someone work.

In this case though, it sounds as though the OP does not have the funds to pay someone $80 plus dollars a week to do her cleaning. If you are struggling financially, something has to give and I would rather do more of my own cleaning and still have some money to do my hobby and do something that makes me feel good than give up the hobby and have someone clean. I agree with @JLeslie the husband could help out if she gives up the cleaner. That’s fair. Perhaps they also have to compromise a little on how perfect everything is. Keep the kitchen, bathroom, laundry and floors spotless and maybe dusting doesn’t get done as regularly as it could be.

When they are back in a good financial shape again, get another cleaner! I hate cleaning. You won’t find me arguing that people shouldn’t pay people to do chores they hate if they can afford not to.

@JLeslie For many in the middle class, it is about priorities, and if not doing their own housework is worth more to them than the other things you mention then fine. I’ve never known anyone that wasn’t totally loaded (or disabled) that had a maid or cleaning service, but maybe that is because I don’t know anyone who considered avoiding housework a better use of money than other things.
It seems a little bit like the OP is trying to have her cake and eat it too though. I don’t get the feeling that they are rolling in dough, though they do have some hefty debt; the kind of debt that would force most middle class people to live like I do.

@blueiiznh There is a difference between being rich or well off and being spoiled. My folks are well off yet do their own stuff, be it housework, construction, or car repair, so I know where you are coming from. And every once in a while even I will decide it worthwhile to spend a few bucks to just to avoid hassle.
That said, I have also known quite a few “spoiled” people who honestly have no idea about how to live like the majority of Americans live; on a budget and without the means to just throw money at everything. For that matter, I have seen people at all financial levels who cannot even conceive of doing without something optional, though it seems far more common amongst those that never have gone without than amongst those that clawed their way up.

@jerv I tried to go back in the thread was the debt a mortgage? I actually agree with you that if money is tight probably maid service should go. The only time I used to hire a maid was when I was working 6 days a week durin the Christmas season. My husband would be fine with me having a maid regularly. But, then, he is Mexican, so it is a normal thing to him. Most people who live pretty well, with little to no debt, on a middle class income, are frugile generally, fix what they can on their own, shop for value, coupons, etc. Those same people might enjoy some luxuries. My husband and I joke that we have Porsches in our garage, because he brings his lunch every day and mows his own lawn. The biggest mistake some people make is thinking being rich means driving a certain car, wearing a certain brand clothing, or eating out at expensive restaurants. Being rich to me means a person could go a few years without working and still not run out of money.

I’m actually half agreeing with you that the OP does need to adjust something. I think she does want her cake and eat it too, she needs to compromise somewhere. I basically wrote that above, wrote suggestions of where they might be able to compromise to lower expenses.

@jerv your sentence implies that I made that statement when in fact I was pointing out that you in fact made that analogy. Your original statement was “Personally, I consider that decadence, and completely unnecessary, but if someone grew up spoiled, I can see how their perception of reality might get skewed.”

@JLeslie I have a nice computer because I drive a $300 Toyota, so I can relate to that humor.

@blueiiznh I think you and I have had enough interaction that you should have figured out by now that I am not always great at conveying my thoughts clearly, completely, and/or concisely. That is especially true when I would rather write a sentence than a book.
I made that statement, and then attempted to clarify; at no time did I intend to attribute those words or that opinion to you.

@jerv For the wealthy, sometimes paying people to do work is cost effecient. A business owner who makes $500 an hour, and pays a mechanic $40 an hour, is better off letting the mechanic do the oil change, and continue earning money at $500 an hour. Most rich people work very hard, and many hours, that is how they got wealthy. The exception is some with dynastic wealth can play all of the time, but even those orn into wealth usually do earn their own income as well. Anyway, it is not always a matter of being spoiled when you hire people to work around the house. It is a different life, a different world. I don’t mean to imply at all that people wo are not wealthy don’t work hard, in many instances they work even harder, I am only commenting on generalizing about being spoiled.

@JLeslie First off, good luck finding a mechanic that works that cheap :D
You are correct that things are different at that level, but what of the more moderately well off who only earn $75/hr (less than most garages around here charge)? Also, most people cannot earn money any time they choose; if it were that simple, I would be happy to do 80–90 hours a week.

It’s not about the money so much as the attitude. It’s about willingness to live within your means, whatever those means are. The people I label as “spoiled” are unwilling to accept that they cannot afford everything they want.

And the poster hasn’t been back after asking this question. I don’t think she’s interested in our comments now.

That seems to happen a lot.

Wanted support for their position and left .

Yeppers.

I might be wrong, but I think that it is generally unwise to ask for answers when you are only looking for sympathy. You might not like what the responses you get.

@jerv OK, I’ll go with that. Spoiled, not willing to accept they cannot afford everything.