Can you create the most unnecessarily horrendous sequel to a movie?

Three Girls and One Cup. I’m stopping there.
As I listen to ACDC Let’s Make It. “Don’t waste it, let’s taste it”

Bambi’s True Story: Return to Yellowstone.

Famed Disney actor Bambi and his family return to the forests of Yellowstone after a life of celebrity in New York takes its toll on his relationships with his wife and kids. His two children, Bimbi and Bambo are ill-prepared to live the simple life after their drug-addled teen years hanging out in the NYC club scene. Bambi’s 2nd wife, Nadine, has taken to drink after botched hoof lift surgery and only bitterly agrees to come with the family after Bambi threatens to cut off her finances. Bambi is reunited with Thumper and Flower and their friendship is Bambi’s only comfort until Thumper begins a sordid affair with Nadine. Bimbi and Bambo start dealing drugs to the other forest animal children, turning the peaceful surroundings into a nightmare of confusion, anger and tragedy as deer turns against deer and skunk against skunk. Bimbi’s teen pregnancy adds to the drama as the father of her unborn child, Park Ranger Bob, uses and rejects her.

Co-starring Cloris Leachman as Mother Nature and Donald Sutherland as Park Ranger Bob, with a soundtrack featuring Kanye West, Ice-T, Rebecca Black and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

This film will take you from the sordid city streets to the beautiful nature trails of Yellowstone as one deer fights reunite his family.

SPOILER:

Bambi convinces Nadine to enter rehab, as Bimbi and Bambo realize that their father’s love for them is the most important thing and that nothing can get you as high as nature. Sadly, they realize this just as the Yellowstone caldera erupts, obliterating life as we know it on the North American continent.

@diavolobella Wow, that is epic. I especially love the soundtrack!

Hannah Montana the Movie 2

Hannah is now in her 40’s, and is addicted to cocaine. She’s overweight and still tries to stuff herself into all the clothes from the original set of Hannah Montana. Her former best friend, Lily, is married to Oliver and they have six beautiful children. Lily has tried to get Hannah to check into rehab for years, but Hannah stubbornly refused so many times, that Lily decided to dump her. Hannah’s brother, Jackson, is still the family screwup, and has been in and out of prison for the last twenty years.

As the movie follows Hannah’s current life, we see that not only is she addicted to cocaine, but she’s also a dirty whore. Watch as she lands herself in some serious trouble, and once again has to call Daddy to bail her out.

Didn’t Superman III kind of make this question obsolete? Well, if not, there’s apparently a Bill & Ted III coming.

Anyway, this is easy: Manos: Feet of Fate.

Or, if we’re going with cheesy Internet p0rn, how about Cake Farts II: MOAR CAKE PLZ

Blame It On Rio 2! Kutcher Kutcher Koo

Here, a now-in-her-50’s Nicole (Demi Moore) finds herself strangely attracted to her husbands grandson (Ashton Kutcher).

or

Dude, Where’s My Car Too?

Jesse Montgomery III (Ashton Kutcher) wakes up from a 5 year bender to find himself married to a 50 year old skank (Demi Moore), and tries to figure out how THAT happened.

40 Year Old Virgin, Again.

Andy, after a messy divorce with his ex-wife, decides to go back in time and not lose his virginity. He just can’t bare the pain of life with woman, but will his friends change his mind?

Judd Apatow should be killed by God. Every one of his movies is a bad remark of the last at some level.

Shrek 5

Shrek and Fiona become heroin addicts while coping with their little Ogres teenage pregnancy by Donkey.

Toy Story 4

The toys leave their new home because the girl does some unusual things with them while she’s going through puberty.

Boogie Nights 2, the Carol Burnett version.
The cast of the Carol Burnett show stars in a remake of the movie about the 70’s porn industry. Special appearance by Dick Van Dyke as the bisexual stud that swings both ways.

@erichw1504

Yes, important work there, exposing the sexual abuse of toys.
It’s about time someone addressed this silent atrocity!

Saw 8

A failed way to bring 4D to the movies, everybody in the theater gets their heads sawed off.

@Coloma You’re welcome.

The Last Days of Pompeii: Part Deux

The citizens actually realize that the volcano is going to blow well in advance, flee to safety in a mass exodus requiring tremendous logistical skills and previously unwitnessed mass heroism, only to have Mt. Vesuvius burp, poot out a small puff of smoke and go back to sleep.

Starring Charlton Heston (naturally) with Orson Welles as Vesuvius
Soundtrack by ABBA, the Pointer Sisters and Charo.

Fight Club 2: The unnamed narrator and Marla Singer go on to live a perfectly normal, happy life.

SNOW WHITE 2 THE RETURN OF THE DWARVES

The Prince and Snow White live happily ever after in the Prince’s castle for three months then the Prince loses his job. The jewellery mines close and as the dwarves are unemployed and homeless and Snow White has seven spare rooms she takes them in. This turns out to be a mistake as while the Prince is attending a series of job interviews one of the dwarves takes advantage of the situation. Snow Brat is born.

Doc is arrested by the FBI for stealing emeralds and ends up in a Supermax gaol in Colorado. Grumpy commits suicide, Happy is busted for drug abuse, Sleepy begins slipping in and out of a coma and finally ends up ends up in a vegetative state, Bashful becomes so shy that no one has seen him for years, Sneezy goes down with AIDS and Dopey has Alzheimers. Snow Brat is a wilful child with learning difficulties, attitude problems and issues with esteem. She goes into therapy and never comes out.

The Prince turns to drink and is sleeping rough in the streets of a nearby town. The wicked witch turns up unexpectedly one dark and rainy night. Though badly injured at the end of the first film she has miraculously survived.

FINAL SCENE: The wicked witch and Snow White are sitting silently at a rough hewn table in the castle kitchen each eating an apple. They both look ghastly. The magic mirror lies forgotten somewhere in a castle cupboard.

Annies: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow.
Now in her teens, Annie must do battle with a legion of Annie clones, created to address the shortage of red-headed orphans. Whoever wins, we lose!

Late shift 2: The Betrayal. This is where Leno gives his show to Conan and then backstabs him and takes the show back.

It turns out that the tall, blue, and sexy-in-an-adolescent-athletic-way Na’vi did not always occupy the Hallelujah Mountains. In fact they displaced a shorter, less attractive race, the Sk’auts.

One of the elements of this tyrannical rule is “Ante Noc’Tup,” the right of the leader of the na’vi to take any of the Sk’auts women and ride them like a toruk in heat. A hotheaded Sk’aut, B’yil Wo’les, has his main squeeze abducted for this purpose. When she emits too many noises during the act, however, the Na’vi’s are offended and behead her.

Pushed to the edge of madness, B’yil Wo’les leads the Sk’auts on an heroic, but ultimately hopeless revolt against the Na’vi’s.

The movie: Avatarn!

Maximum Overdrive 2; It just happened all over again, only this time, with more modern rigs. Stealth mode; not lost.

Here are ones that don’t even need a plot summary: Heaven’s Gate 2, Ishtar 2.