What do you do to purposely annoy people?

I don’t normally do things to annoy people because that’s not my style, but if someone is riding my ass in the right hand lane when I’m already going 5 mph over the posted speed limit, I immediately slow down to the posted speed limit just to annoy the asshat.

(I live in the country where driving 5mph or more over the posted limit will get you a ticket)

If in conversation someone really begins pissing me off, I will begin to psychoanalyze them. I will begin to ask questions, based on their behavior, on whether they were an only child, or held much as a baby, or knew their father. You would be surprised how fast that gets people mad.

When people shout at me me, I get progressively calmer. Nothing annoys people so much as not being as annoyed as they are.

My former boss use to miss work a lot and call me in on my day off or suddenly decide to go home early so she could goof off. So to annoy her I would call her several times in a day about stuff I knew had to be handled and pretend I was unaware. I especially did it because she would give me grief if I needed a day off. Once she even left me after being at work for only 2 hours because she was out partying the night before. Meanwhile I had a fever. She just drove home and called me from home to say she had a couple of erands to run for the company and forgot to tell me. Apparently she forgot we had caller ID.

I love making loud noises when I am around friends who are hungover, especially when they are in my house or my dads house.

@shego Right on! When my kids are hung over, you know I am asking if they want runny eggs for breakfast!

I love scaring the crap out of people, if the moment is right. Like hiding at a hall turn, waiting for someone to come out of the bathroom or some room, or sneaking up behind someone and when the time is right, I jump out or yell really loud lol.
People don’t LIKE getting scared this way and I am met with much anger and negativity. But I can’t help it I think it’s hilarious. I did this to my dad so many times and he got all pissed lol.
I did it to friends at school, I do it to people today, and it pisses everyone off! :D I love the reactions lol.

@filmfann I don’t have to be wasted to think that’s nasty.

I have a friend that I specifically try to annoy on purpose.

Like yesterday for example, we were at Kohls cause they were having a sale and I couldn’t find her in the store so I asked one of the employees to page her over the loudspeaker and be all sassy about it. He did. “Sonia, please meet your party in the shoe department. Sonia, shoe department, now please. Be quick about it.” Lmao. It was great.

We have a grocery store chain called Lassens and I purposely pronounce it the wrong way. I say Lawsons instead and she always corrects me. Finally, when she says, “let’s go to Lawwwwwson’s” just to make fun of the way I pronounce it, I’ll say, “Now Sonia, it’s pronounced Lassens and you know it.” I do that to her with a lot of different words. XD

One thing I just recently started is when I’m at her apartment and she goes to go to the bathroom, I scream bloody murder until she comes back out. I’ve also slipped notes under the crack of the door asking if she’s pooping.

Me annoying her is like a daily thing. It’s a full-time fucking job, in fact. I’m sure she’ll murder me in my sleep one of these days.

We drove in the driveway of our home, years ago, and saw a couple parked in front of our house. The girl had her door open, and she was puking all over the street.
I got my wife and small kids in the house, then brought my 12 year old daughter out to watch this girl puke. I told my daughter “I bet she was trying to impress the guy with how much she could drink. How impressed do you think he is now?”
I figured, here is a life lesson.
Sad to say, my daughter didn’t learn that lesson.

@Vunessuh LOL about the notes. That’s awesome, I wanna do that to someone lol.

@Symbeline Do it! I got the idea from Lucille. XD

I dial the phone of a friend who I want to annoy and when he or she says Hello, I say Hello, who am I?
friend – Hello?
Me – Yes, who am I?
friend – Mark?
Me – Oh is that me?
friend – what?
Me – my name is what?
friend – cut the shit
Me – Yes, but who am I?

@mazingerz88 Lol nice. :)

I, um, flick my husband’s nipples. They’re ultra-sensitive, and sometimes I just can’t help it! I am ashamed.

I wake up to live another day….pisses them off to no end!! ;)

Every once in awhile, I like to ask questions such as these on Fluther.
http://www.fluther.com/99547/should-i-bear-a-grudge-toward-italians/
http://www.fluther.com/117060/what-would-you-do-with-khalid-sheikh-mohammed/

Somebody always gets annoyed. Sometimes they get so annoyed that I find it annoying.

I like to poke people with sticks.;)

I don’t enjoy annoying other people at all. I simply don’t do to others what I don’t like done to me. However, the very few times I resort to that, I only do it to get back at them if they had done something to annoy me first. I never forget stuff, and will get back at you in my own subtle way sooner or later. It’s not a matter or if but when. I would be very observant of what things you like and dislike and wait for the right opportunity to do something that I know for a fact that you don’t like. Fave people to do it to? My mom, my sister, my cousin, and a couple of people at work.

I don’t ever deliberately annoy people. It happens often enough unintentionally.

To me, the attitude of intending to annoy is hostile and rude, and the intention itself is even more annoying than the action. I can’t imagine how anyone would get satisfaction from it, although I can see plainly that some do. Is it a power thing?

@Jeruba Generally, I feel as you do. I know a few people who absolutely thrive on annoying other people, and I don’t really get it. I don’t think it’s a power thing, they just really seem to find it amusing. I know I don’t get a sense of power out of bugging my husband, and most of the time I can restrain myself. But those nipples! Sometimes they just cry out to me, “Touch me! Dooooo it!”.

There’s this one guy at my school who’s a condescending bastard, so I torment him by making incredibly disturbed come-ons to him that I took out of Deliverance. He’s completely aware of what I’m quoting, but he gets so mad whenever I pull on his ear “wheeeee!” and so forth. It’s really just an awful thing to do, but he’s aware I mean no harm in it, which oddly makes it alright…

I basically feel the same way that Jeruba does.

However, I occasionally do things to annoy people that annoy me.

E.g., if someone going slower than I am cuts me off on a freeway connector, sometimes after l merge left, I’ll drive along that driver’s left side until they have to slow down in the merge lane, before they can change over to the lane to their left.
However, I won’t do that if there are cars behind that driver.

Personally, I don’t think freeway driving or even ordinary street traffic is any place for playing out petty vendettas. There are brand new, terrified drivers on the road every day, and many of them are not youngsters with good reflexes. And there are sick people, old people, distracted people, crazy people, angry people, heartbroken people, arrogant people, and stupid people behind the wheel all around us. Any one of them can make a mistake. Those are just the people we should make extra allowances for. Rattling them and scaring them can make them mess up even worse. Trying to pay them back for a moment’s lapse in judgment could have a permanent and even fatal price tag.

That’s not just for you, @Brian1946. Sometimes I wish I could mount a bullhorn on my car and go around broadcasting a reminder: just let it go. It isn’t worth it.

@Jeruba

I think bullhorn broadcasting a reminder would be more rattling than a car merely traveling alongside the other in the lane to the left.

Well, of course. I wouldn’t really do it—only think of it, you know?

As a very nervous new driver at the age of 40, @Brian1946, I encountered a number of incidents where someone blocked my entry to the freeway, pushed me too close to parked vehicles, crowded my rear, or jumped in front of me without warning. Driving with small children in the car, I was scared every minute even after weeks of lessons. Whether they were punishing me for some unknown error or just being rude, more than once they very nearly caused me a serious mishap. They would have driven on scot-free, and my children and I and, no doubt, some other innocent motorist would have wound up in a tangled heap of metal. I suppose that would have been justice for my having caused them a few seconds of annoyance.