How does the government decide who will be a care provider?

No, it’s entirely voluntary – you normally appoint someone with Power of Atty. before you’re that bad. But if neither kid wants to do it, the government doesn’t force them to.

Yes, you can’t be drafted into being someone’s care provider (other than the normal parent/minor child case scenario.) If there were two people both wanting to be the primary care provider, then the court might choose the one who is more stable or the closest relative.

Most couples on the young side of sixty are not in need of a caregiver; additionally they should be more-than-capable of drawing up their own Health Care Proxy, Financial POA and a long-term caregiver should the need arise.

There are never any “shoulds’ in these life-changing decisions. The individual families work out what arrangements suit them, emotionally and financially.

My sister and I are the proxies for my very old mother, but she put herself in a staged care facility when she was 83. She had a wonderful time until the last few years.

Thank you for the answers everyone.
@MyNewtBoobs and @Skaggfacemutt one of you are saying yes and the other no…dilemma

@gailcalled it’s not the parents who im asking about. I’m asking if the sister would be required to have a care taker due to her mental issues.

I think both @MyNewtBoobs and @Skaggfacemutt are saying the same thing. You are not forced to be a caretaker. You can choose to.

If no one helps your sister, she will live on her own. She will be responsible for her own care. She’ll have to be responsible for taking her own meds and getting to a therapist and dealing the disabilities insurance system. If she can not handle this, she may end up on the streets. She may also end up in a hospital one or more times. They may or may not discharge her into a follow-up care situation.

Of course, there’s a good chance you’ll feel guilty about letting her out into homelessness, and you might try to offer her a place to stay. That’s noble, but if you are not really equipped to help, that might not be the best thing. I would suggest you help her navigate the system so she can get medical care and a place to live (there are places that are paid for by the government—it depends on where you live and how the budget is being cut).

Of course, it could be thirty years before this becomes your problem, so I think you are jumping the gun a bit. Do not worry. But do educate yourself on her care and on her options. Help her find ways to become independent.

@saintDrew Actually, @MyNewtBoobs and I are in agreement. She is saying, no, you can’t be drafted into being a caregiver, and I am saying, yes, (it is true that) you can’t be drafted.

@Skaggfacemutt yea am sorry. I should have reread
@wundayatta I guess I am jumping the gun. But I will do some research.
thanks everyone.

At 60, the parents should be looking to ask someone in the family if they are willing to step up to oversee the daughter’s care, should something happen to them. This can be a family member or friend willing to take on the responsibility.

The government does not decide anything without a petition from interested parties. If a request is made for a conservator by more than one person, it would have to be taken to court.

If your parents do not have a living will, they need one…pronto.

Your parents wishes for their medical and administrative duties should be specified in the will. I have just finished burying my mother and thankfully she had a living will for me to follow. She wanted my brother to handle her affairs, but he has had two strokes and that left me to do the followup. This, I am doing now.

Living will, then a regular will for after their death. If not, probate court steps in and it can be a really big mess.