Quitting: is there a positive aspect to it as well?

Personally, I never want to quit anything I’ve started, especially if it concerns the academe or my future career after university. I don’t want to quit trying, working and exerting my best. Sometimes that’s a good thing. But the same resistance to dropping something has insurmountably hurt me in the past. Sometimes it’s also good to know when to let go of something that isn’t doing you any good because maybe that isn’t for you. You’re just going to disappoint yourself in the end. I’m not implying that you shouldn’t challenge yourself and live a careful, cautious life, just that you should know your limits and know when to stop if this thing you’re persistent on continuing is potentially ruining you as a person. For example (this is just hypothetical), a well-paying job you have been in for the majority of your employed life where you’ve attained great recognition in, but the same job keeps you from giving valuable attention to your family and your friends. The same job burns you out and leaves you a tired man that when you get home, all you can do is sleep. Another example is loving someone you know will never feel the same way. If you’re meant for each other, it’ll happen. You can’t force anyone to feel a certain way. And you’ll be hurting yourself in the process. So let go.

@seazen, I think it is drummed into us we should complete things. I used to get called a butterfly and that sticks with me now. I am very conscious of not just dropping things too easily. However, I think there are times when it is perfectly appropriate to say, “this isn’t working for me” or “this no longer meets my needs”. I don’t think finishing things for the sake of finishing them is a good plan. Sometimes we start thing with a particular goal in mind but as we progress realise that goal isn’t right for us.

I started my PhD and there were times when I really wanted to throw in the towel but a. I was so far along it would have been ridiculous and b. I really did still want the opportunities having it would bring. In contrast though I have seen people who are dragging themselves through a PhD, and it is obvious to them they don’t want to complete but feel they must. Or people staying in relationships that have run their course but they don’t want to give up (done that myself too).

Long winded response but I suspect but the short of it is, each situation should be weighed up independently and no, people should not feel compelled to never give up on something that is no longer right for them.

I’ve had projects where what I was asked to do was either impossible or counterproductive. It’s taught me to say no upfront.

The best quote I’ve heard about starting your own business (and I think this can apply to any task with an uncertain outcome) is, “Fail quickly”.

You’d be crazy to quit something that was obviously successful but it’s not sensible to keep on doing something that isn’t working. You need to move on and find the next opportunity. Use past experiences to help you make better choices in the future!

I moved 3,000 miles from the only place I’d ever lived. I was all alone, I knew nobody, I couldn’t get a job, I was off my medication and couldn’t get it, and I hated the place I was living. The choice was to quit and go home or kill myself. I think quitting was a fairly good decision.

This semester I enrolled in an accelerated math class (seven weeks instead of the usualy 15 weeks). I initially was not going to take the class, but a special someone in my life encouraged me to do so…and I would have been fine, except the professor was not prepared to teach the class and barely knew the material. I never like to quit once I’ve made up my mind to do something, but in this case, I decided to. The class is being offered in the fall again (different teacher, thank goodness), and I dropped the class before it could negatively impact my GPA. (My GPA will help me get a scholarship to a four-year college in the spring of next year…)

I’ve been beating myself up a little over this decision, just because I hate to quit at stuff, but I am starting to realize it really was for the best…sometimes it’s better to quit while you’re ahead…

When I was younger, if I was totally miserable at a job, I would quit. One advantage to quitting when it comes to hating your job is that whatever was making you miserable in the work place is immediately not an issue any longer.

Now that I’m older and probably going to retire from my present employer, I would not quit. Also with the economy, I would not recommend quitting a job.

Quitting smoking is a good thing.

I “quit” eating red meat (with a relapse today.) and I have felt much healthier since, and my skin has been clearer.

I wish I had quit my stupid fashion class when I still could have.

There’s a big dif. between being flakey, being a chronic ‘quitter’, and being open to the ever changing nature of life and ones needs.

I live by one rule and one rule only, I will not suffer on behalf of anything, be it a job or relationship.

If something is no longer a good fit I see choosing to quit to be ones highest choice for their well being and that of the greater good.

I’d much rather be a quitter than a martyr. lol

It depends what you’re quitting. Ambition is great, but one has to realize when effort is wasted. That effort could be better put to use in other areas of one’s life.

Mr. Fiance just quit a job he hated, where he was underpaid and under-appreciated. Definitely a good thing. He starts his new job on Tuesday, and I really hope he’ll stop coming home miserable at night.

I love @Coloma‘s line: I’d much rather be a quitter than a martyr.
True dat, my friend. True dat.

I hate that I have a tendency to give up too soon. I don’t really try and try again.

For example, my husband and I went out to follow a craigslist ad for free moving boxes. I mistakenly thought that they would be outside the building so when we drove around and they weren’t there, I assumed someone had taken them already. I would have driven away at that point, but my husband went inside and asked. The boxes were in the basement! We got them.

In my defense, we had made two wild goose chases after moving boxes before and missed out on them.

My first job out of college was working for a shitty company, and my boss was a jerk. I worked incredibly hard and did a great job, and it was never valued. So, I got a better job. And I quit that one. It felt great!

My thought has always been, you don’t know until you try, be it food, job, baseball, drawing lessons. So you have to quit things you don’t like so you can find what does fit. My daughter tried to have a massage business; she hates it and is closing it down. Kudos for trying I say to anyone.

I quit smoking and have never regretted it

Things that are good to quit: Smoking, drugs, spending more than you have, eating only unnutritious food, having unprotected sex with strangers, getting tattoos at a place that isn’t so strict about cleanliness and using a new needle every time, abusive relationships, arguments that are causing you more stress than they’re worth, not following through on positive changes in your life…

Quitting isn’t the issue. It’s about choosing what to quit that matters.

Quitting can be positive in that what you may be doing is detrimental to both your health and mental well being.. I’ve quit several jobs making good money for medeocre paying jobs that I enjoy doing.

I have a tendency to keep on beating a dead horse which is not good. I think it’s important to persevere in the case of obstacles when you have a goal. I hate the feeling that success might have been just around the corner and I didn’t know it and quit too soon! But it’s also important to know when to cut your losses and move on. Maybe that should not be thought of quitting, but as evolving. Does that sound like a rationalization?

Very much so @Earthgirl and your amazing to determine this.. It’s realizing your limits and foregoing vanity in order to learn from the experience. In military operations, I have encountered several soldiers who couldn’t quite cut the mustard yet they kept trying.. A certain admiration is involved for sure but endangering the unit is also a factor so when I or some other would take them out of the equation , they would become very angry then after explaining the real reason, they would fully understand and because of it, limited their participation to what they were capable of accomplishing at the time and gaining experience through training from those that they couldn’t accomplish.. Now I know what your saying isn’t as life threatening but it can affect those around you if you continue to strive knowing your struggling.. There is a time for logic and a time for fool heartedness.. I’m confident you can tell the difference.

I’ve experienced the destruction to one’s self-esteem that happens when you become too attached to certain goals and are unable to let go even though you feel like so much of a failure, you don’t deserve to live. My goal was absolutely ridiculously impossible, and yet, due to factors from my childhood, I thought that if I could make those goals, then someone might be able to love me. Or rather, that I might feel worthy of being loved.

I thought that it was my job in life to save the world. I don’t think I ever for a second thought I could do it, but it was my job, anyway. One hardly need look beyond the end of their nose to see how badly I fucked that one up. Yeah, I failed. Rather epically.

But I’ve decided to quit that business, and to quit trying to do something my father would be proud of me for. In the end, we choose our own goals, and we decide how attached we are to them. If we want to drive ourselves nuts (as I did), we can stay attached to impossible goals.

The real problem comes when it seems like the goal is quite possible. Maybe other people have achieved it and you think you are just as good as they are. Yet the goal remains elusive.

How do you decide when you’ve sunk enough effort into it, and it doesn’t make any sense to send good effort after bad? There is actually research about this. It looks at how far people are willing to go to try to turn around their luck in gambling, or how long they will stick with a stock that is losing value, hoping it will turn around.

In most cases, people have great difficulty cutting their losses. The same is true with quitting of any kind. We should all remember that we’d probably do better if we didn’t stick with losing causes as long.

I had a class this semester that I had to apply those principles to, as well. The professor did not know the material at all, and as it was a class that I was going to find rather challenging as it was, in the end I decided to drop the class because I did not want my GPA to suffer. I hated doing it, because it is not in my nature to back down from a challenge (especially in academic matters), but I knew it was going to cause me undue stress, with a low chance of gettng a high grade. Ultimately, I felt like I made the right decision…