Can you be the FLUTHERER NEGOTIATOR?

I dare you! ;)

@lucillelucillelucille LMAO Oh pity the Chihuahua!

@mazingerz88 That’s what he gets for wearing that outfit ;)

Yes, I could be the fluther negotiator. No need for an extra er after fluther, just saying.

First, Batman chihuahua only looks terrified, when in fact he has been collaborating with me for many years in hostage situations.

As I try to convince the Clown to release Barney woman, what is actually happening is that Batman understands my signal to use the Batarang and swiftly, safely, knocks out the Clown.

Barney woman falls off the building, but Batman uses his BatJet pack to bring them safely to the ground.

I take out my sniper rifle and shoot all three of them.

@HungryGuy That’s negotiation.

I’m with HungryGuy, mostly.

I’d just shoot the clown.

I hate clowns.

I’d tell him/her to stop clowning around.

Did the woman willingly get into the Barney costume? If so, I’d push her off the roof myself.

I’d just kick back & await with glee there impending execution. Clowns, Barney & a fucking yappy dawg…..not worth my time & effort.

I would hover above the clown in a helicopter and pee on his head, after eating asparagus a few hours earlier. He would either push the woman in reflex, for which I would have one of those trampolines ready, or he would fall backward in disgust and we would swoop down and pick up the lady and dog.

I would squeeze the clowns nose and step on his big shoe and dare him to move. I’d have my dog with me pulling the sausage out and wrapping the clown in it, effectively entrapping him in his sausage.

@chyna Next time I threaten some asshole who says something nasty to me on the bus, I’m gonna say “I’ll entrap you in your sausage, buddy!” Nah…he might like that…

Whenever some panhandler approaches me at a bus stop of train platform, I just say, “I was crazy once. So the men in the white coats came and put me in a padded room. I died there. Then the worms came. God, I hate worms! They make me crazy.”

No negotiating involved. Just shoot the fucking clown!

( As Fluther negotiator I’ll start, eye lashes fluttering, by saying to the clown, )

“Beautiful sausages, yummy, Bratwurst? Would you like me to barbecue it for you? I’ll set-up a grill here and we could chow down buddy, and while I call in for cold ice beers, Corona ok…yeah? Maybe you could take a break from choking Barney’s neck while I take over. You can sit right there, yes there, just a few steps from the edge and hey, if you wish I could barbecue that rat Barney is holding too. I dont mind. I hate Batman, too dark. However if the rat was in Iron Man costume, hmm, now that’s sexy. I could fuck anybody in an Iron Man costume, even the rat. Something about steel that makes me hard. Makes me wanna just drill in the back a big hole where juices would just you know, squirrrt out…(wink)
Yeah, my dick’s tougher than a jackhammer actually. That was what my wife used to say…before she died. I just got carried away and forgot to stop! They had to stitch…everything. Same as with the guy I caught her with. ( and then I pause here breathing deeply ) Hey clown, buddy sweet clown…amigo…know what? If there is anyone that really makes me really goddarn hard more than Iron Man, its CLOWNS. So, if you push Barney and the rat, I will be on your backhole so fast and furious that you would experience how it feels to have the tip of a jackhammer sticking out of your piehole.

( As Fluther negotiator I hope he does the right thing…do I? )

“Glenn, we all know it’s been tough being let go from Fox….but I’ve got an executive from the Discovery Channel…standing out in the hall right now who wants to talk to you…it won’t be big bucks…but it will be right after “We Didn’t Go to the Moon” and right before “Mummies: It’s a Wrap!” Whaddya think, buddy….let the dinosaur go….your life isn’t over….promise…it’s just a new beginning…and can you hear that ringing? Here on my cell? It’s your red phone back at the studio…it’s ringing bro! Finally! So let’s go answer that shall we?”

Hostage situation….over. Simple.

Clowns creep me out, so I’d probably go up behind him and push him off the roof.
I hate Barney the purple dinosaur too, so I’d probably snatch the dog from the lady who dared put the costume on, and push her off too.
A job well done.

I would have a specially modified weapon. Simultainiously, it would fire a double ended grappling hook, hooking onto the woman and the building, as it shot a .50 cal bullet at the guys head.

Instant headshot, the woman falls screaming, but then the short line on the grappling hook catches her as the black ops chopper moves in to finish saving her. I walk away, and dissapear into the night.

I would eat a sandwich, and watch to see what happens, until I got bored…. which might be well before I finished the sandwich.