Should I ask this girl if/why she hates me?

If she’s an actual good-hearted person and you miss her friendship, go ahead and be the one to extend the olive branch. Be nice and cordial.

If she’s just one of those pretentious women, you shouldn’t give her the time of day. Move on.

I do think that you should try and clear the air. Tell her that since you are going to be working together, you just want to clear the air and that if there were any misunderstandings, you would like to apologize for your part in them.

She wasn’t interested in you and turned you down politely. You don’t owe her an apology for your remark on Facebook (which was spot on, IMO), and neither does she owe you one.

Just because she’s not interested in you sexually doesn’t mean she hates you. Leave her alone and look elsewhere. You’re young. You’ll find someone you click with sooner than you think…

I pick C.
Do nothing and stop worrying about what she thinks.;)

I agree with @marinelife that it wouldn’t hurt to make an effort to clear the air if you’re going to be working together, and with the same professional and cordial tone as well.

However; I would keep things professional and not try to make friends with her. She sounds like a bit of a bitch, to be honest.

I can’t see how a “nice” person would feel the need to mention your overture to her on Facebook? Seems conceited and obnoxious. Unless I am reading the situation wrong, and that is of course entirely possible, I would move on and forget about her. Be polite and courteous to her in your volunteering activities, but if I am not mistaken, she isn’t worth your energy. She sounds very immature.

@Mz_Lizzy – I don’t think her Facebook status was about me. I didn’t shoot her down… unless that’s not what you meant by your first sentence.

No, I read it as being directed towards you. Thanks for the clarification but I am not really sure what she meant then, but if it wasn’t about you the advice about being polite and courteous stands. I don’t know that I would make a big deal of it. Just be your usual nice self. You sound like a nice guy. If she is a decent person, she will respond and you two can move on.

Some people just don’t like some people. It’s just the way it is.
She sounds like she’s giving you every indication that she isn’t interested in you, without having to go through the awkwardness of saying it plainly to your face. It’s kind of the coward’s way out, but that’s how she rolls I guess.
I’d take the hint. Don’t ask her why she doesn’t like you – you wont like the honest answer. She’s sparing you those details for a reason.
All this says more about her than it does you, by the way. She’s sending you a hidden message, and that message is “you can do better.”
So I choose:

D) Move on, but don’t kill her.

Thanks everyone! It’s so good to know that I’m not the a**hole. :)

If I read what you did on her facebook then I’d think she was posting about getting shot down by someone she liked and was holding out for and why she turned you down. That she got shot down and then hit on by someone she wasn’t interested in romantically might have annoyed her and that’s why she was posted rudely and then took it down later? Leave her be.

Okay, let’s think through this and look at it from her perspective:

A person you asked out posted a statement on Facebook. You posted a response, that while might be applicable to your dating experience so far, and might have been stated without malice, could very well be misconstrued and upset the receiver. Maybe she didn’t realize that her post in reference to another’s situation might impact you. Maybe she deleted the thread out of assuming that her non-acceptance of your date was the cause of your response.

So, no dear, you are not a cad, unless it was meant to give her a verbal stab. As soon as the time is appropriate, reach out to her and let her know how you feel. Keep it in the perspective of how you feel, and do not put her on the defense. There are many people who are able to work out a situation like this and rebuild their relationship once the air is cleared.

C. Trust me.

She’s just not into you. Move on.

Think about it: let’s say, for some odd reason, she suddenly realizes that she does want to date you. Do you want to date a person that you just asked this question about, with the description you gave of her behavior? Is this person worthy of your time?

She might feel embarrassed for her actions, but she’s definitely feeling uncomfortable around you. I doubt that she hates you. Here’s the subtext I see going on here:

-You ask her out and she politely shoots you down, saying that she’s seeing someone. Either she’s trying to let you down easy or she’s holding out for this other person. In her mind, she might as well be seeing someone, because she isn’t going to go for anyone other than her crush.

-She posts on facebook, “feeling optimistic for someone who just got shot down!” She probably posted this without thinking. Basically she just got caught in a lie. When you responded, “story of my life,” you were calling her out. Also, if I were her, I’d think that you were still smarting over being shot down. If I were her, I’d feel like a dick and I’d also feel a little nervous around you.

It sounds like she’s kind of socially awkward, but not necessarily a bad person. Do you still have feelings for her? Those two times you invited her out afterward could be seen as a friendly olive branch, or they could be seen as continued attempts to ask her out.

The information in your question only describes a few times you’ve interacted, and I don’t know if anything else is going on. But she could be thinking that you’re mad at her for shooting you down and lying, and yet you’re still hitting on her (which would be pretty crazy if it were true). That doesn’t sound like your intention; it sounds like you just want to get along because you have to work together. But she could easily be seeing things that way.

Asking her to hang out probably won’t help your case. You could just say something like, “I think you might have misunderstood me. I don’t want to date you, we don’t have to be best friends, but can we be cordial when we’re at work?”

Do talk to her normally as you did earlier..don’t show her that you want her or anything like that. Watch her gesture quietly. Smile when she says something to you. the more mysterious you will be to her..she will be dragged towards you. This is a secret to make a girl mad about you…try it and you will win for sure..