Should my parents be able to take all the money from my settlement?

If I were you, I’d get my own lawyer ASAP!

@HungryGuy I definitely can not afford my own lawyer.

Most lawyers of that type take their fee from your settlement, and you don’t have to pay upfront.

Some lawyers will take a percentage of the settlement as payment. And most reputable lawyers will let you have an initial consultation for free. It’s worth it to ask a few, at least…

Your parents may be entitled to the actual damages if they paid your medical bills, but you are the only one entitled to your pain and suffering. Get your own lawyer, but be prepared to have to pay your own way from then on.

I would say it will depend on who the settlement is assigned to. If it is you, the check will come in your name. If you want the money for yourself, move out, get a job and pay for your own college. If the settlement is enough you will be fine. If not, you will be broke and your parents will be pissed at you.

@naivete

No upfront MONEY. Get your own lawyer.
Let them get the percentage at the end of proceedings, if they go to court 33% and 25% if settle out of court.

Find out what your approximate settlement will be from that initial consultation. If it’s substantial, do it on your own with a lawyer who will take a percentage. If your parents really disown you for that, they’re evil and you’re better off on your own anyway. If the lawyer tells you your settlement will be small, then fuggheboutit, and your parents never need know you investigated your options…

@WestRiverrat They only payed for 3 sessions of physiotherapy. Which cost approximately $150 dollars. I live in Canada and I only saw the doctor about 3 or 4 times.

@HungryGuy It all seems a bit risky. Perhaps I should just come up with a verbal agreement with my parents. If it’s x amount of money, I’m entitled to x amount and they can keep the rest. Verbal agreements don’t always end up well either…
I don’t think I’m ready to be “disowned” ... They’re not necessary evil. My father is just a money monster and my mother feeds off his views… which I guess can be viewed as evil. Sigh.

@naivete You may luck out and have the court order the settlement put in trust for you. Then you will get the money but only when you meet the conditions ordered by the judge.

If you were under age 18, the money would be paid to them as custodians for you. As they have waited until you were 18 to settle your interests, most likely they were waiting to assess the long term effects of the accident on you. If you have no long term issues from the accident, then most likely you will not receive much of a settlement, if anything at all. Call the lawyer representing you in the case, and go down to his/her office to see them on your own, and ask him to explain the lawsuit to you.

Based on the fact that you haven’t had medical issues, would construe “You’re not receiving money” to mean that you did not have the impact from the accident that your mother had at the time, and you are not entitled to money because you did not have any longterm damage from the accident. I would not construe it to mean that you’re getting lots of money and your parents are going to keep it.

If the money is to cover pain and suffering then it should go to you, except maybe money that would be reasonable if your parents missed work to care for you regarding the accident. If it is for medical bills related to the accident, I would assume you did not pay any bills out of your own pocket. If it is for expected future medical bills, then the money should go to you once you are financially independent of your parents (but that should be in writing somewhere somehow if you don’t trust your parents will set aside the money for you).

What exactly are you going to be getting money for if you win? Were you injured?

Not at all unreasonable. I’d deduct the money for the lawyer and the medical costs, give that to your parents and keep the rest.

@JLeslie The accident significantly impacted my back. Lower back pain always acts up when I try to do physically intensive work for extended periods of time. The accident occurred during the summer months, so I did not miss any school and my parents did not have to take care of me. I don’t have any plans for the money. I just want it to be in the bank there for me for the future (Future education, unforeseen expenses etc). I was actually hoping the money would help me in moving out sometime in the future.

You are being very reasonable. I would contact the lawyer about changing the arrangement so he or she is working for you.

You live with your folks, and they are paying for your college. The accident happened while you were a minor.
I would say that if you try to get your own lawyer, you will risk your college meal ticket, and might end up out of the house. I wouldn’t, but I think fighting over money is vile.

You are 18, an adult.

If you stop to think about it, your parents have paid and are paying out a lot of money for you for your education. Are you paying rent? Are you working a partime job? Are you doing anything to contribute your staying at your parents house free of charge?

As a parent that has gone through this with two children and two grandchildren, I say the money belongs to them and rightly so. I did not read where you said you would give most of the money to your parents for all they have done for you or did I miss this?

Sorry, but I believe you are being unreasonable. You will undersand my answer one day when you have a child of your own.

@john65pennington

If I were to give money to my parents for all they have done for me, I would be in debt for a long time… a very long time. I’ve worked a part time job, and I am currently in the process of looking for a new one. Yes my parents are paying for college, and yes they are letting me stay at their house free of charge but If I were to leave their house, they would probably never talk to me again… in other words they’re blackmailing me into staying at home with them and WANT to pay for college etc.

Anyways, I’m not too obsessed with this issue. I just wanted to know about my options and I appreciate everyone’s help. I know if I’m reasonable, my parents will also try to be reasonable.

@naivete Are you sure your parents plan to keep all of the money?

@JLeslie I’ve talked to my mother about the money. She usually says things from @john65pennington ‘s view. She believes they’re entitled to all of the money.
I’m trying to get them to understand that maybe I should get even a little bit of whatever I receive… The convincing process is going to take awhile.

@naivete: I think you are being very reasonable. This isn’t as if you want to use the money for frivolous stuff. It sounds like you want it for a mature reason: moving out. I’m sorry you’re having such issues with your parents. It sounds like they are trying to stunt your maturity by keeping you dependent on them which is hard and not very nice. Since you are a legal adult, you might be able to get the money yourself, but I would check the laws and regulations about that sort of thing in your state.

@john65pennington: Anyone who expects their children to pay back all of the money they’ve spent in raising them over the years should never have been a parent in the first place.

I kind of think you should get some of it. Considering you still live with some pain.

A separate topic really, but I am curious since it is mentioned, will they stop paying for college if you move out? You say they will stop speaking to you. Can they afford to pay for you to live on campus? This is really personal, but are you from some cultural background where it is expected for children to stay at home well into their 20’s or once married? Why are they threatening to cut you off emotionally like that?

I actually worked on a case exactly like this some years ago. First of all, any decent lawyer who would take a case like this would do so on a contingency basis, meaning they don’t get paid unless you do and they take their percentage out of the settlement. You only pay for court costs and depositions (and the lawyer will usually let you pay that out of your part of the settlement, rather than upfront, too). That’s why accident attorneys only take cases that they think have merit.

At the time of the accident, you were a minor, but at the time of the settlement you are not, which is what matters. Your parents could certainly make a case that they should be able to recover from your portion of the settlement the amount of medical expenses they paid for you that were not covered by insurance and you should give that to them willingly because if you make them have to sue you for it, it will ruin your relationship and the attorney’s fees defending the case will eat up a large portion of the settlement. The court may rule that, since you were a minor, your parents would have to pay for your out-of-pocket medical care regardless of an accident, and that is part of the cost of having a child, but I wouldn’t begrudge them that reimbursement. Once you reimburse them for what they paid for your medical care after the insurance, the rest of the money is yours and will be for pain and suffering and any permanent impairment you may have suffered. Your mother cannot keep your settlement money. It’s yours. It will not be given to your parents in trust for you because you are not a minor anymore. It doesn’t matter if she paid the lawyer or not, it’s your settlement – it’s your money and the court is going to award it to YOU, not your Mom. The check will be made out to you, and you will be the one who has to sign the Settlement Agreement, not your Mom, so it’s not her call. I question your Mom’s judgment in hiring an attorney that didn’t take the case on a contingency basis to begin with. That was a mistake.

The big question you have to ask yourself is whether or not your relationship with your parents is worth X dollars. It’s your money, but is the relationship more valuable to you? Are your parents threatening to cut you off because they know that they can’t keep the money unless you let them (probably, if their attorney is worth a crap, because he or she should have told them that)? Is it emotional blackmail? The biggest question is whether you want to maintain a relationship with them and under what circumstances.

@diavolobella Very interesting. You are in the US right?

@JLeslie Yes, I am.

The sad footnote to this particular case that I worked on is that the girl is now in her late twenties, doesn’t speak to her parents, is still battling them in court and they have grandkids they’ve never met. Money can be a really bad thing.

Oh, and in her case her parents weren’t even IN the accident. Her boyfriend was killed and she was gravely injured and suffered permanent impairment. Her parents just decided that since she was a minor and they hired the attorney, they should get all the money. They got reimbursed for their out-of-pocket expenses, but wanted all the rest too. Sads.

Really quickly:

There is an issue of attorney ethics here. It is incredibly important that you clarify who the attorney is representing. In the case of parents and children, this often comes up. Whoever is paying for the attorney fees at this point, the attorney is representing you. And the award is for your damages.

That needs to be clear. It’s your lawyer, your case, your settlement. Work out whatever you want to with your mother after that, but she needs to understand that legally it’s about you.

@diavolobella I think we need the OP to confirm where she lives.