What kind of useless talents do you have?

I can turn my left eye inwards independent of my right.

I have the ability to remember useless facts.

I can light a cigarette lighter by holding its bottom with my pinky finger, turning the wheel with my thumb, (the rest of my fingers aren’t touching the lighter) lighting up the cigarette, then sorta snap with my thumb to make the lighter fly in the air and catch it in my hand.

It impresses people a lot, although half of the time, I fail to catch it lol.

I can bend my babby baby toe backwards to touch the top of my foot.

@dxs I have that one too. It does impress others sometimes!

I can lick my eyebrows.

I can lick @Blondesjon‘s eyebrows.

Can anyone else press their stomach inwards so much that it causes the rib cages to bulge out and give the stomach area a less than one-inch diameter like you look like a starved person? If not, then that too along with being able to pick my nose with my tongue (not literally)...but I think that’s just genetics, not talent…
@KatetheGreat It gives me the comadian points
[Edit]: dangit @Blondesjon you 1upped me…
haha, got the perfectofish on this one…

I can write sentences composed of words starting with the 26 letters of the alphabet, in alphabetical order, lol!

I can watch @Vunessuh lick @Blondesjon eyebrows.

I can blow air rings underwater. Did 7 in a row once…honest!

Ladies, please!

My eyebrows are already promised to another.

Ahh, I love you guys.

I can bite my tongue.

I can bite @jonsblond‘s tongue too.

I can bend my fingers back really far to the point people look away in disgust!

I can watch @KatawaGrey bite @jonsblond tongue.

I make the funniest Play Doh faces ever.

I can pick out tunes on my wierd asian string instruments, very impressive! lol

I can make amazing snow men, animals.

I have an uncanny knack for guessing peoples professions at a glance.

you all let me know when you’re done chewing on @jonsblond‘s tongue. i have something else in mind for it.

@chyna can watch for a modest fee

Obviously, I’m a voyeur. That’s pretty useless.

I can write upside down

I remember movie quotes very clearly, but not much of anything else.

I know the greek alphabet, but it’s kind of useful because I use it at times to write things that I don’t want other people to see at the moment…just hope they aren’t greek…

slugs have four noses
oh and their butt is located just behind the head.

Write with both hands simultaneously: Right hand – frontwards cursive. Left hand – backwards cursive. Neat talent with a rating of zero on the applicability scale.

I can also watch chyna watch KatawaGrey bite jonsblond’s tongue.

I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue, and I can move my left eye while my right eye sits still. I have also finally learned how to recite the alphabet backwards.

@rpm_pseud0name
President Garfield could write with two hands, so he could write two documents at a time, saving much time.

@Joker94 Some people might find that sad, but I think it fucking rocks. :)

In addition to being able to wiggle my ears, I know the complete lyrics to the Addams Family, Gilligan’s Island and Captain Nice.

Yeah, @Joker94, you think that you can remember quotes well? Try looking at @Symbeline‘s profile and guessing every movie that the quotes are from. I’ve done it!

I can write in this font.

I share @dxs ability to remember random useless facts. I can also touch my nose with my tongue and I don’t mean the amateur version where you stick your tongue directly up to your nose either. I can stick it all the way straight out and then curl it all the way back, like a tongue back bend. I have really flexible ab muscles and can make them protrude enough to fool people into thinking I’m pregnant, then snap them back flat.

@dxs: Τηε ςορδ _Γρεεκ_ρε;θιρεσ α ψαπιταλ Γ.

@dxs I can write really small

Ты ревнуешь?

@gailcalled
what?
“The sord [ending sigma at beginning] _Greek_re;thires a psapital G.”
?
: Do you mean “The word Greek requires a capital G.”? If so, then yes, but my correction to you is your faulty Greek spelling.

I have this talent of being quiet around noisy people. Most people might think I’m shy and non-contributing to the “social group”, but I just find all the “social status blabbering” at cocktail parties insignificant (eg., “So what do you do for a living?” “My son goes to Princeton. What university does your child attend?”, etc. blah, blah, blah…” Lol.)

@Symbeline Aw, thanks gurl ^.^
@KatetheGreat Oh, believe me I’ve tried…I know my fair share of quotes, but those ones still elude my grasp…one day, I will…I promise!

I can bring home the bacon,
Fry it up in a pan,
And never let you forget you’re a man!

(Is anyone old enough besides me to remember this?)

@yankeetooter Because I’m a woman! Anjoli!

of course, this means we are also going to have a Aviance night lol

Yay! Someone who remembers old commercials! Yay @diavolobella !

@yankeetooter I LOVE old commercials. I have several DVD collections of them! :)

I can wiggle both ears, or I can just wiggle my left ear. (I can’t just wiggle the right one for some reason)

- Memorize tons of useless trivia (mostly about cars, computers, and role-playing games).

- Flick open a Zippo with my thumb and have it lit before the lid even clicks fully open; just one quick, smooth motion.

- Insult people in four languages. I can’t start a conversation in any of them, but I can start a fight!

-I speak about five words each of Italian, Korean, French, Turkish and Chinese. I have all the phrasebooks around and wanted to teach myself the languages, but forgot almost all of it. At least I can say, “Parla Inglese? Ni shuo yingwen ma? Yeongorul haseyo? Parlez-vous anglais?” et cetera.

-I once worked in an adult toy store, so now I have all this random knowledge about sex toys, lube, and bachelorette party favors.

-I’ve spent way too much time on TVtropes and reading stuff like “The 7 Basic Plots,” so I say what’s about to happen in predictable action movies, two seconds before it happens. My boyfriend hates watching movies with me now.

-Gold farming in WOW

USELESS talents, people; you’re making me look bad

I can balance M&M’s along the shaft of my penis (when erect) & watch unmoved as my dawg licks those buggers off. Nerves of steel boy, nerves of steel. For the record, this is a piece of fiction, pure fabrication. Any resemblance to real persons & actual events is entirely coincidental.

@ucme

If you ever come to my place I’m locking up the sheep! Baaaad boy!
I don’t want any freaky crossbred lambs on my mountain. lol

@Coloma They’d probably tell me to flock off.

I can play spoons, but no one cares.

I can hang a spoon off the end of my nose…

@dxs: I got too clever by half. How do you transliterate a “w’”? And it is odd about the ending sigma, which I do understand. Also, a hard “c” should clearly be a ’Κappa” (κ).

I remember an American friend of mine who was frantically looking for this…ταμπαχ

@gailcalled
A “w” is Omega, as is any “ooo” sound (To the best of my knowledge). The vowels are where things get a little different between Greek and English. I am not a pro at Greek, I just know the basics. There is no “C”, its ether kappa or sigma, depending on hard or soft.
Oh and the chi should technically be lowercase (looks like a really fancy cursive “E”)
[Edit]: correction, you’re right, I’m thinking of Xi, which is Q. It’s all Greek to me :P

@dxs: Hellas; it is a difficult language to learn

I can make my eyes wiggle and bend my thumb back so it touches my wrist.