Have you been mansplained to? Are you guilty of mansplaining? How much does it bother you?

One of my “friends” (using that term pretty loosely there) just mansplained to me the other day how, you know, rape is bad. But you know what’s even worse? Women who accuse men of rape falsely!

My former boss was like that. It was a research company and on occasion he would insist that some idea had been published about and he was positive it came from wherever. So the staff would rush around for days trying to dig up the source and come up with nothing.

This happened more than once and since he was knowledgeable in general and the boss, we would believe him and run around like chickens with our heads cut off because no one was willing to tell him he was bullshitting.

Gradually, over the years, I learned that he had this tendency, so I would start questioning him. It helped because it made him refine his “knowledge” which made it easier to track things down.

Sometimes I catch myself doing that. Usually I try to offer sources for the information I am providing, but there are times when I just assert something is true. Sometimes I get away with it.

The thing is that in many ways, facts don’t matter. Whoever comes to the scene first and states it is so—that’s the person most people hear. The people who come along later to correct things are like voices in the wilderness.

If I listed all the ”‘splaining” I’ve allowed to go on in my presence, we’d be here for a few months.

Oh Jeez – how many years have I lived?

Just wondering if there is a term for women who automatically interpret any man who expresses an opposing opinion as a “manspaliner” simply because he is equipped with a Y chromosome. (and thus not worthy to participate in discourse)

@YoBob Yours is a valid comment; it is a very sexist term. I’ve actually not heard or used it before.

@YoBob I’ve actually only heard the term in regards to discussing women’s rights/gender studies/feminism – ie “Well, that’s not sexist, and since I’m the man, I’m The Decider on what’s sexist and what’s not”.

@YoBob: Please read the articles I linked and the definition I pasted in my initial question. This has nothing to do with expressing opposing opinions.

Sure, my father was like that. He was wrong.

I just sit, listen and snicker to myself. It’s kind of amusing, sometimes.

I’ve had both women and men mansplain to me.
Not usually as blatantly as @MyNewtBoobs‘s examples though!

It happens though… It’s hard to have conversations, or discussions with those folks.
I don’t think I’m guilty of mansplaining. Correct me if I’m wrong, though. :D

An alternative term for this could be “Clavining”, referring to Cliff Clavin of “Cheers”.

Isn’t it interesting that behaviours IRL that make you want to punch out the person are cute little peccadilloes on TV? Especially on sitcoms.

The article “Men Who Explain Things” made me angry. I’ve definitely encountered men who did this (usually at work), where if I did not have concrete facts and proof to back up my argument, they just assumed that they knew more about the subject at hand.

On the other hand, I’ve done it. I’ve been called out on it by friends and S.O.s and felt like an ass.

@nikipedia—when I have more time, I’ll explain to you why this altruistic behavior arises naturally from the structure and function of the human brain.

Unfortunately and I haven’t really thought about how annoying it was til now, but I seem to be around a lot of people that mansplain often. Sometimes I wish it was legal to rightfully smash people up with Baseball bats.

I am a woman who has been guilty of (wo)mansplainin’ though I try not to. It is a terrible habit.

My kids’ father remarried and the stepmother ‘splains things. My son has the encyclopedia britannica tattooed on his arm is our joke, so the 2 of them get to ‘splain to and over each other, except my son has actually researched before he mouths off. I knew step mom years ago and she’s a one-upper whether she has any facts at all. I had a man tell me Chernobyl is still burning through the earth, can’t be stopped, in that way that denigrates my brain power completely. Fortunately the band started playing.

Ah, my husband. I love the man tremendously, but… he’s nine years older than I am (he’s in his early 50s, I’m in my 40s) and is more like a man from the generation prior to his own. Maybe even two generations. Modern day John Wayne. He’s very open-minded for the most part, but every once in a while he truly expects me to just, I don’t know, accept his superior wisdom? Act like ‘the little woman’? Something like that, and it has to do with this ‘mansplaining’ thing. I think he’s repeatedly surprised that I won’t comply. ;) The good news is, that’s one of the things he likes best about me.

I know I’ve been guilty of this behavior a time or two, but nowhere near as often as I’ve been the recipient.

Yes, I’d say I’d been ‘mansplained’ to by men and women alike. Dismissive behaviour knows no gender boundary. any sort of implied hierarchy or superiority seems to authorize it in some people.
There are women out there who will insist that ‘men just don’t get it’ and most of them won’t deign to explain whatever that means (some will). And if you do care and intend to treat the other person with respect, getting dismissed like that is a big incentive to stop.
Certainly in the workplace whether the boss is a guy or not, a lot of people expect the boss to behave like a nightmare guy. Or unfortunately for a lot of us that’s the only way we’ve seen it done and when we get to management look out below.