Should I stay or should I go?

If you are going to continue living together, you definitely need to have your own space. If you have multiple bedrooms in your place, you should each have your own room. That would be your own, personal, private space that is off limits to the other person. Personally, I don’t think I could continue living with someone after breaking up with them, but if you think you can do it, definitely move into your own room.

Also, breaking up would mean no more sleeping together. No more affection, no more anything. If he wants to be with you, then he needs to be with you, not be with you when he wants to sleep with you, but be on a break so he doesn’t have to be affectionate.

“Too much of one person he says.” I think the “one person” part is what I’d notice and I’d take the hint. If you live together you will remain one person, he will probably start pouting that you’re just “one person” and you won’t even be able to date anyone else?? Someone who is just fine with your being just one person?? Do you cook and do laundry and clean?
I’d leave.

I’d leave. Not only will you two be in the habit of having each other’s comfortable relationship to fall back but it might stand in the way of either or both of you looking for a “full” relationship that won’t be annoying with affection involved. If a lover is uncomfortable with affection, that’s a deal breaker for me.
So many years of experience says these unaffectionate people are not well paired with cuddlier types.

@Aster We usually go out to eat :X It’s me, him and our roommate living in this house so we usually take turns doing dishes and such. He’s already started pouting It really upsets me. Two years ago he was so nice and would do literally anything for me to be his girlfriend or even be close to me, now that he has me… he’s got what he wanted and that’s where it ends.

@Neizvestnaya You’re really right. It’s a huge deal breaker for me too but I just keep hoping someday it’ll change. Pretty stupid on my part. Love, ha.

@Stefaniebby I’ve been through this too and it was excruciating. I’m sure our situations aren’t anywhere near identical but a few things would probably match up. The main reason it almost did me in was because of raising children together and all the trust I had built up. First came the put-downs. That went on for a couple years. Then he stopped looking at me. Then I began finding evidence in various places. Finally, he began going out at night – even when his PARENTS WERE VISITING. His mother saw the car leave; I never saw it. Next, late phone calls almost every night. I wish I had left sooner. PM me if you’d like. I’m really sorry; this is a bad spot to find yourself in.

It doesn’t sound like you are having much of a break, you still share the same bed and that just has to be confusing. I would definitely move into the other room. I am not really into the “break” idea. To me it is usually a gentle transition stage between, “we are together” and “we are not together”. If you are really going to have a break, have one. In separate places. If you really do miss each other and realise you had something worth working on, then try dating again before you move back in. Go and get some counselling. That might not be a bad idea even now. Counselling isn’t just about staying together, it can help you break up too.

I agree with Mz_Lizzy. Move out, see other people, see how he acts then. and feel your self esteem skyrocket (;

Too much of one person includes “too many in one bed”. If it’s a break, it needs to be a sleeping arrangement break, even if you are in the same house. It sounds like he wants it all from you without giving his all back. He wants the comfort of knowing you’re under his emotional control and warming his nether regions while he sleeps but he wants you on an emotional edge. Break it.

@Blueroses You hit it right on the nose.

Heres my second problem with just leaving the relationship and the house all together. We all split rent equally. Me, my ex and our roommate Martin. If I move out of the house all-together literally nobody will be able to afford it. I don’t want to screw our roommate over because he has, honestly, nowhere to go. We got it pretty cake here at our house right now because my sister owns the place and it’s cheap, but if I leave, that adds on $300 to the rent that I really don’t want to leave in this poor kids hands.

So do I continue living with my ex, because he is still my friend, or do I just say f..k it, f..k you and leave ‘em all behind, move on with my life?

So perhaps your other half should leave (since it is your sister’s house) and get someone else in to share?

@Stefaniebby Move into the extra bedroom for now. Then you can work on the details of who is moving out and finding a new roommate before they move out. A lot of that depends on if you have an actual lease, who is on the lease, and all that. Good luck.

Well, you could go out of your way to help by finding them a third roommate first.

Mz_Lzzy I agree once again. Look; he speaks as if he’s tired of you, the “same person” so why hold his hand in this?

@Mz_Lizzy Good idea!
@Seaofclouds Thank you, that’ll be much easier for now.
@Aster You’re right. I should be more concerned about myself, he got himself into this mess in the first place.

@Stefaniebby: Don’t say _”...he got himself into this mess…”. You fell in love and he went along with being together. That’s not a mess, just not a good match.

Everybody has really good advice here. At least move your body from his bed. The friend vs. boyfriend thing can be dealt with better from a distance of at least 30 feet of snoring.

ewww Moving to another bedroom. This is So creepy to me and knowing next day you won’t just have to look at his face – you’ll know he’s looking at YOURS. About a week of this and I think you’ll be outta there. And you’ll breathe a sigh of relief.

@Neizvestnaya I was saying mess as in the whole “too much of one person” talk he gives me. That’s where it pretty much broke my little heart, where I realized this wasn’t working, when I decided to ask for advice.

Which I got some really great advice! Lifted a great weight off my shoulders having people to talk to who understand, who’ve been there. Thank you all! <3

Would you be better off with or without? What about his needs?

I would find it hard to give a relationship a break if I were not able to date someone else freely (you and he have this problem now) and if I were sleeping in a bed with someone where, presumably, I get horny and can seduce him and vice versa. That, to me, is someone who says he wants a break but what is the break? Break seems to mean he puts you at an emotional distance but still has you for his convenience, and vice versa. You need to sit down and seriously come up with a plan – maybe he should move out since it is your sister’s house. It would be weird to have him stay and you go, and every time you see your sister you see him too.

Breakups are hard emotionally and physically but you guys are stringing each other along, and seemingly going nowhere. Meanwhile life is passing you by.