How do you poop?

I’m like you – once I’m done, I’m not going to sit around in there (unless I’m having tummy problems). I don’t know about 20 seconds, but I’m rarely in there for more than a couple of minutes.

I’m a present pooper. I like to relax and read a bit, always keep something interesting on the little vanity table in my bathroom. Sometimes there is a ‘second’ round…but…one should fully allow their pooping to be a relaxing event. haha

This is great! I’m working 14hrs today so I really needed to laugh about poop. This should be the question of the day :D

I sit down on a toilet seat instead of perching above. That I can recall, it happens or it doesn’t and there’s no need to stew.

Endometriosis often causes poopy problems, so I usually take a book with me and sit in the bathroom for about 15–20 minutes. On really bad days, I have been known to stay in the bathroom for about 45 minutes. I hate it.

I have magazines in my loo but I am usually in and out. Like @deni I know I want to go, I go and I leave. My husband is more of a stewer and I don’t get it at all. He also says he has to wait for the second round.

I saw the thing about squatting on one of those awful “you are what you eat” programmes and the person was very constipated and didn’t have healthy bowel movements. She had to squat to get things going.

I wait until I really have to go and then I just go to the bathroom. I hate sitting in there. I feel that there is so much more to do in life than sit on a toilet and waste away.

I see no reason to linger. I go in, do my business and get out. I don’t find sitting on the toilet comfortable. If I’m going to relax and read, it’s not going to be on a cold, hard toilet seat.

Despite having a mild case of Hirschprung’s, I go in under a minute. Let it out, and if it doesn’t feel like any more will be coming I wipe up, wash my hands, and it’s over.

I’ve been meaning to do more squatting, but living in an apartment with a small toilet that won’t support a large man doesn’t allow that. And surprisingly, despite being a wilderness skills instructor I don’t really end up pooping outside. Just don’t end up getting the urge. Probably because I drink less coffee at those times.

I like to stay seated until I have destroyed every one of those thieving green pigs and their flimsy structures. They’re so smug!

How intimate yet mundane!
In the morning I relax and wait for whatever is ready. With an electric shaver I take care of that while sitting around. I get some serious magazine reading done too.
I don’t do that because I like stewing in there ! But otherwise I’ll be back in there before I’m out the door.

I see a lot of uptight poopers here…chill…make pooping a spiritual experience! lol

Anal is as anal does, retentive now and always was…forgive me, it’s just too tempting to get into the flush of verbosity.

@Coloma ” ... the flush of verbosity” if I weren’t trying not to wake anyone I’d have lol for sure.
Oh, and I used to pee as fast as possible. Then I had a girlfriend who took her time and let a few waves out. That never occurred to me to not rush.

I have been called “The Fastest Pooper in the East”.

@syz Ohhhhh very interesting. Some have called me “The speed shitter of our generation”....similar!

I have never understood why people linger in the bathroom. It has always baffled me. Why in the world would I sit there for 20 minutes if I’m done in 30 seconds?

I guess I’m more like your boyfriend; I tend to be a “lingerer”. It’s funny that you mentioned the concept of a “next round” because that does happen to me sometimes. But I often am in there longer, I just poop more slowly I guess.

And it’s not that I’m in there reading magazines or anything either, just more a slow pooper ;) But not always, it depends. My roommate on the other hand is in and out in like 20 seconds. It’s so fast it’s freaky.

As for innovative positions, I don’t really do anything like that…though I have read that squatting is the “natural” way to do it. :P

I take my time, but not if I need to get things done. I appreciate the time to contemplate.

Have you ever pooped in Korea? They have basically a hole in the floor (well the traditional toilets anyhow). As has been said squatting apparently facilitates the operation, I guess gravity comes into play there. Anyhow, it is not so bad unless you have bad knees and cannot assume the position easily. If I went there now I would need a trapeze above the opening so I could get up, hehehe.

Well strap a penis on me and call me a man! I am like you bf! haha

So THIS is what a Friday night is like on Fluther!
@rooeytoo : Yeah, me and my poor knees had a helluva time in Japan! That was a few decades ago, I’d be in real trouble if I tried that today! :-)

Hey, you asked.

My pooper has been sick for quite a while so I am not normal in this regard. I can’t remember the last time I needed to “push” – it’s just a matter of relaxing and letting it happen for me. I have been known to bring handheld games, books, and even homework in with me. There is often more than one “round” because I rarely feel done after the first.

This was presurgery. Post-op, I have no colon and poop through my small intestine. Because there is no muscle there, I can’t control when it happens, so I wear a bag over it, and “pooping” for me now entails emptying the bag. Kinda weird to adjust to, but not such a bad deal!

Once I’m done I wipe, flush and go (obviously aftermaking sure all my clothing is in the correctplace!). I don’t like to sit there for any longerthan I have to. I do sometimes put my feet up like your brother does as I sometimes sufferfrom constipation and that makes it all slightly easier.

@Leanne1986 no hand washing?

@FluffyChicken Of course I wash my hands, I also unlock and open the door.

@rooeytoo – The traditional toilets in Japan are like that, too, and I encountered a couple like that in Italy as well. I didn’t have to poop in any toilets like that, just pee, but it is a little weird. The hardest part is keeping your pants out of the way without falling over!

Yeah..those chinese toilets…it was always SO nice to find an american toilet in my travels. I’d scan the bathrooms in every establishment 1st thing and rejoice when I found a regular toilet. lol Peeing on moving trains was the worst, rocking side to side and trying to stay centered over the basin in the floor. lol

The offending projectile slides outta my arse like an eel from a velvet glove. All docile & placid, no drama here. On the other hand, if I just ate a curry, well…...I shit like a sten gun on steroids XD

@ucme

Your descriptives DEFY even MY ability to manufacture sharings in technicolor! Good GAWD man! ” like an eel from a velvet glove” freaking SUPERB visual, thanks for that! lol

@Coloma I aim to please, same with pooping really.

@ucme

I had a ‘quickie’ this morning. 3 Coronas, a yogurt and a banana for dinner last night….instant purge! lol

@Coloma No shit? :¬)

@Coloma “Anal is as anal does, retentive now and always was…forgive me, it’s just too tempting to get into the flush of verbosity.”

Well… aren’t you just the life of the potty? Such a commodian.

Oh my little chocolate friend…you be so crackin’ me up!
Wanna co-write some improv routines? ;-)

I’m afraid I’m a little too wiped at the moment, but please don’t raise a stink about it.

You are so Charmin darlin’...this too shall ‘pass’.

@rooeytoo, similar facilities in Lviv, Ukraine. I ended up with heat sickness in the middle of the city, hours away from where we were staying. It was… interesting.

Tootsie roll anyone?