Am I being used?
I was really close to this guy and we liked each other heaps, then he called me some pretty bad names, so I went off and called him some names. We hated each other for ages. We would be sorry and loved each other as mates again, then have another fight. The same things happened over and over again and I kept falling for it. Eventually I gave up.
4 months on after not talking, he sent me a text saying we needed to talk and he would call me in half an hour. Half an hour later he called me and said he was sorry for being such a loser to me and that after hours of thinking about it, he finally woke up to himself and he knew I was worth it. He says that he likes me and wished none of that stuff really happened. But as we keep talking he says he wants me to give him head and send photos of me to him. Every time I ask why he wants photos, he says ‘because I like you and I need you’.
Everytime I say if you like me and need me you don’t need photos and for me to do that stuff, he says ‘please babe’.
He has never said he likes me before and that he needs me and that he has woken up to himself and that I’m worth it, so I don’t know if this is just one of his little games or if he is serious.
He is a really nice guy when you are on his good side but otherwise a complete loser when your on his bad. He is being really nice except for the things he is asking for…
Am I being used?
Is this one of his little games?
Should I fall for it and see what happens?
Help me?
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18 Answers
I don’t know you or what you are looking for in a mate…but a guy who after 4 months of no contact calls you up out of the blue and ask for “photos” sounds like a selfish self-centered user. If he is really a nice guy….IMO take it slow and let him prove to you if he is this nice guy or a complete idiot.
I think I’m the one who’s being used.
I definitely think you are being used. He just wants to use your photos as free porn. Tell him to buy it elsewhere, like everyone else does.
@takeachance I’m sorry, I answered incorrectly – I was thinking of another question. When I see questions like this, I can’t tell if you want an honest answer, or just some support.
both? 2 different answers if possible (:
The honest answer is that if you have to ask, something is very wrong – so you are probably correct. The supportive answer is, what is your ultimate goal? If you want the kind of relationship you have, learn to deal with it, if you don’t, look elsewhere.
Yes… you are being used. Chalk it up to experience and find someone else.
Honey, read back what you wrote about this guy. Put yourself out of the situation for a min and then answer it. SOME men are only interested in sex, if he really wanted you, why has he not been to see you face to face, why only phone calls and texts. Tell him there are plenty of sex lines and porn on the net for that sort of stuff and move on, there are some fab guys out there who would never ask this of you. Good luck suga
With all due respect, the only help you need is freedom from denial.
There’s a saying:
“If you have to ask “how much”, you probably can’t afford it.”
Translated: If it feels like you’re being used, you probably are.
Think outside the box.
Even when you gave up you admitted his presence… what does that say to you ? maybe you enjoyed the situation [ maybe i’ve said something bad but someone had to say it ]
Yes you’re being used.
He’s not sorry, he’s horny
As soon as you “take care” of him he will become the same “SOB” again
@BeccaBoo well yesterday he was at my house, he came over and we just hung out. He pulled me aside away from my family so it was just us 2 and he said that he wants a relationship with me and that he needs me, etc. But I made him promise me that if he keeps bringing up and asking for the photos or for me to do stuff I don’t want to do, that I will never talk to him again and have nothing to do with him.
I have made it clear that I dont want a relationship with him right now and he is cool with it, as long as we are still mates, is what he said to me.
Would any of your other friends/mates pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with? Probably not so why would someone who supposedly cares about you do that? Ditch him and don’t give him pics.
there is a reason you are ex. Try to remember that. It’s easy to get caught up in the nostalgia of the good feelings.
IMHO, keep him an ex, but if you do walk this path, do it carefully and watch for red flags
He isnt my ex. I have never gone out with him, but at one stage last year we both liked each other but never went out (:
If you take a risk and make a go of things, anyone is going to tell you without even knowing you both that your going to get hurt. But relationships are all about risk. However all the while your pouring your energy into liking this guy and thinking over this guy, your missing the others out there that could be good for you. Get out there with your girlfriends, meet some other guys, date them. If you still feel the same way after a few weeks then your gonna have to give it a go, because you will always regret it if you don’t. But if you do, do it with caution and watch your back, and never ever put yourself in a situation that you will hate a few months down the line. Again good luck x
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