Want to play the "If celebrity x were y, then he/she would be z" game, part 2?

It sounds way more complicated than it really is.

Here’s an example.

So, if (celebrity) Tom Hanks (x) was a piece of wood (y), he would be Tom Planks (y).

Get it? You can use any celeb that you want!
Catch: the names have to rhyme!
Oh, and the person who posts has to finish with a name and the person below them makes up a post about the celebrity.

I’ll start with one: If Tom Cruise was beat up by a gang, then he’d be Tom Bruise.
(Bill Clinton.)

And then the next person would say, “If Bill Clinton smoked marijuana, he’d be Chill Clinton.”

this is because @queenie requested this thread again, and because the other one kind of died after 300 some replies.