Should I have gone back to apologize?
Today I got in a fight with an authority figure where I said some pretty mean and arrogant things. A friend was there with me, and on the drive home I told her how bad I felt about it. She suggested I immediately go back to apologize, but I didn’t think that was the best decision, what with both of us still being pretty upset. Instead I decided to go straight home and e-mail my apology. What do you think would have been the best decision? In the future, is it better to make an immediate personal apology while tempers are still high, or to wait for everyone to calm down?
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11 Answers
I;d let things cool down a bit and then offer a voice to voice apology.
Maybe tomorrow, or within the next 48 hours or so.
An email is cowardly and the chickens way out.
A genuine apology states very clearly that you recognize and acknowledge your part in the conflict, and this is KEY….use absolutely NO…” if’s, ands, or buts” about it.
I would write out your script and follow it, ad libbing as you see fit.
Good luck, take a nice big spoonful of humility and feel good about being mature enough to make the gesture.
I do think it was a good choice for you to continue home and wait for your anger to die down, however I think you should go back tomorrow and apologize in person rather than by email.
Best to let things calm down, while tempers are still frayed they may well have told you stick your appology, and the argument could well have just started all over again.
I think it’s always better to let things cool down a bit. That way both parties get enough time to reflect on whatever happened. And that’s usually the time when people start realizing things and the best things come out. A personal apology would be much more appreciated. But, I’d say email is still a good start and you should meet and tell in person.
You should definitely make an attempt to apologise face to face, or at the very least, over the telephone. Email would come across as being insincere and cowardly.
Cool down, first. If this is a person you have a personal relationship with, I’d also opt for a face to face (or at least phone to phone) apology.
I woudl say let them calm down but then apologise face to face, not via an email.
listen to those above, face to face is the way to go
Gosh… there was a time when a written apology counted for more than just words said, but that was before the days of email, I guess. I remember when I was a kid and having to say sorry to the other kid’s face AND write a heartfelt message to the person. I guess I would follow up your email with a face to face because looking someone in the eye so they can see your sincerity is important. But I don’t think it was stupid or wrong to send an email while the issue was still fresh in your mind.
I think you should wait, but do it in person.
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