Is raising a child best done with a husband and wife? Or with two members of the same sex?

both can be done…..sexual orientation and marital status do not determine parenting skills.

Obviously with oppositely sexed parters. A child needs to know how to be a man if they are a young boy, and how to be a woman if they are a young girl. Only heterosexual parents can achieve this. Otherwise, your child will learn from television. Which is NOT good.

Husband and wife are my favorite. However I have net many good homosexuals that I felt could do the job. I’m just not sure if that is a good setting for a child to be raised in

umm…..there’s a lot of people ‘raised’ by hetero, married parents that learned more from the TV than their mums and dads….

I think it could be done by both. I used to think that same sex couples shouldn’t raise kids but then changed that thought because most same sex parents will be aware of the social issues that they need to address their children about. Like it was stated by wildflower your ability to parent your child has more to do with your education, patience and communication skills then gender and sexual orientation.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the sex of the parties involved – I think it has to do with the parenting skills of the individuals involved. I’m sure there are exemplary examples of both, as well as horrific examples of both.

I think we can agree that both types of parents are capable of doing a good job. My battle with the question is, is homosexuality right?

i do not believe that it is. Im actually currently writing a paper about (should same-sex marriage be legal in colorado) my answer no. 1. God, i am religious and most Americans claim some Chrisitan religion. 2. The country was founded upon laws. If we chance laws to what a small percentage wants then when will that stop? The country does have a foundation, why are we trying to change it? 3. I believe that a child rasied by a loving Husband and Wife will turn out better than a child raised by two members of the same sex. Even if they know the about the world. That does not mean they can provide the skills and love that a normal family can.

Just my opinion. Feel free to tear me apart now.

@qwertqwert3
My dad was killed when I was ten and he was never really around when he was alive. I consider myself a “man.” Whatever the fuck that means. And somehow I still figured out how to BBQ and drink beer. So it can be done.

i dont think he was saying people are totally lost. Just the norm, the best way for things to be. The ideal situation really.

That is like asking whether it is unnatural for heteros to misspell and mispunctuate.

like I said. It can be done by both. I rather a child be raised by loving homosexuals than abusive straight couples. My beef is only I feel it goes against nature. I know others dont feel this way. But oh well. That’s why we live in a free country

Basically if people did not have standard relationships none of us would exist. Nature is set up a certain way. I believe we were created in God’s image and part of that is to reproduce. Homosexuality does not allow one to produce. I in turn do not believe they should raise children then.

Illegitimate children, children born by rape victims, children raised by widows or widowers, IVF, surregate mothers, adoption (cross-race and cross-cultural)...love and nurture comes in many forms…as does abuse and neglect.

yes your right gail, there are other cases, but we are not looking at those in this question….thanks

Is the problem that it’s against nature or christianity? Then doesn’t that raise the whole creationist vs. evolution debate?

i personally believe its against both.

My answer is either should be fine. Raising a child is best done in a supportive environment, and either heterosexual or homosexual couples can do equally good of a job in my opinion.

Does it really matter whether someone’s sexual orientation is a certain way? Does that influence the child in some kind of poor manner? I don’t think so.

The only real argument here should be whether the lack of perspective from an opposing gender in a homosexual upbringing would hurt the child (over a heterosexual one). But I think as we’ve seen many, many times in the past, many growing up with a single parent turn out perfectly fine…

The only downside I can see to having homosexual parents is the social implications of growing up with something that isn’t completely accepted in this world by everyone. But hey, those that think it’s a bad thing are the ones that make it a bad thing.

I’m not a Christian, and not even sure if I believe in a “God.” But, if we are created in God’s image does that not include homosexuals as well? Explain the logic to me.

God created Adam and Eve 1 male and 1 female. Why would he have created it that way if he intended the race not to reproduce.

So basically from what i can tell, most of the internet does not believe in God. Kinda sad if you ask me. Yet when someone has a tragedy in there life they begin to pray.

So, God created alcoholics, pedophiles, tall people, short people, blacks, whites and Latinos, hearing impaired, et al, but did not create homosexuals in his image?

By the way, I don’t pray when life goes down the shitter. I just look for someone to blame.

Remember this when referring to good and evil, there is always opposites on one side God being good and the other Satan being evil. God dosent create evil, he allows things to happen to us so that we can learn and grow. Satan only has as much power over this world as God allows. This life is a time to prepare to meet God once again. But this time its our choice weither we will turn toward him and meet him with open arms or if we will choose the way of the world. And turn against God and when we meet him be in shame. Our choice.

personally I take responsibility for my actions, whether good or evil…....I don’t say it’s god or satan that made me do it…..

never said God or Satan makes you do anything. You have free will. Its your personally choice to do something. They can give suggestion (thoughts, feelings, promptings). But in the end you choose to do whatever it is you do.

well, I don’t believe we’re created by a god and told to behave in a way that is against the nature that we were created with…...that’s just me, and my belief, you’re entitled to yours.

I suppose it’s only natural for this to turn into a religious debate, and maybe that’s where the hatred (probably too strong a word) for homosexuals originated in the first place.

But seriously though, we’re not discussing the moral implications of whether it’s right to be a homosexual, we’re discussing if raising a child is “best done” by heterosexual parents or not.

Sex shouldn’t matter in raising a child. People matter in raising a child.

This is as stupid as saying that it matters if a kid has mixed race parents.

Some of this is the most homophobic BS i’ve ever heard.

As much as I hate to ruin the fun of completely unfounded opinions, here are some data:

“The results demonstrate no differences on any measures between
the heterosexual and homosexual parents regarding parenting styles,
emotional adjustment, and sexual orientation of the child(ren). In
other words, the data fail to support the continuation of a bias against
homosexual parents…”
http://www.haworthpress.com/store/E-Text/View_EText.asp?a=3&fn=J082v32n02_02&i=2&s=J082&v=32

“Recent professional literature and opinion, however, stresses the irrelevance of parental homosexuality.”
http://www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst;jsessionid=LTbbLnW4Msk2F0L3wrhPhlDG23NJPLjMRNzVvp6h2t6NyB17KNHL!633540437?docId=5000453774

“Found no significant differences between lesbian mothers and heterosexual mothers for most parenting variables. Evidence pointed largely to positive mother-child relationships and well-adjusted children.”
http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/custom/portlets/recordDetails/detailmini.jsp?nfpb=true&&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=EJ665079&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=EJ665079

The American Psychological Association (APA) finds: “There is no scientific basis for concluding that lesbian mothers or gay fathers are unfit parents on the basis of their sexual orientation (Armesto, 2002; Patterson, 2000; Tasker & Golombok, 1997). On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children.”
http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/policy/parents.html

Both male and females are not similar, males react to situations differently then women. Women by nature are more of a nuturer. Men are more providers. Men and women bring different things to a relationship. That is key when trying to raise children.

eklamor, you’re making WAY too broad of statements.

“Is raising a child best done with a husband and wife? Or with two members of the same sex?”

It doesn’t matter, as long as the parents are consistent in their sense of values, support, and love for that child.

“if you choose same-sex do you believe that child might miss out on lessons taught by a male or female figure.”

Gender-specific lessons can be taught by a community or extended family. I believe an ideal environment for a child is one where two parents (any combination of gender), along with the support of a loving extended family, instill strong values based on: 1. Love and respect for all humankind, 2. Understanding the diversity of the world we live in, and 3. Finding a true sense of oneself through tolerance.

Lastly, instilling a proper understanding of grammar and spelling is important, as the world will judge you first by what you say, and secondly, by how you say it.

@eklamor
You say it is by “nature”. So wouldn’t that happen without any external influences?

my beliefs about this subject are religious. Bottom line. I’m just trying to share my opinions. God’s stance is simple, and I’m on his side. If I am wrong then so be it. I’m with good company.

Imaginary company.. If that helps you sleep at night, so be it.

But I am happy and I don’t live in fear and with a heart full of hate.

I don’t live in fear or hate. I do not support that which is wrong.

You do live in hate if you perceive other humans as ‘wrong’.

“Women by nature are more of a nuturer. Men are more providers.”

So women should stay home with the kids, and men should have jobs, right?

Are you trolling or just completely ignorant and narrow-minded?

Try reading more more than one book. You might learn something.

“sorry your faithless and blind”

My faithless and blind what?

thats not hate. If I say something is wrong that does not mean I hate them. I do not believe in something. I believe its contrary to God’s commandments. I don’t not put my trust in the arm of the flesh for the flesh is weak. I know where my strength lies. Attack me if you want.

@nikipedia
That was directed at me.. The godless heathen.

* DEUTERONOMY 22:13–21
If it is discovered that a bride is not a virgin, the Bible demands that she be executed by stoning immediately.
* DEUTERONOMY 22:22
If a married person has sex with someone else’s husband or wife, the Bible commands that both adulterers be stoned to death.
* MARK 10:1–12
Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.
* LEVITICUS 18:19
The Bible forbids a married couple from having sexual intercourse during a woman’s period. If they disobey, both shall be executed.
* MARK 12:18–27
If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have intercourse with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir.
* DEUTERONOMY 25:11–12
If a man gets into a fight with another man and his wife seeks to rescue her husband by grabbing the enemy’s genitals, her hand shall be cut off and no pity shall be shown her.

Do you believe all that too?

Okay, then johnpowell’s faithless and blind what?

Can we flag a question as ignorant? Moderators?

We can flag as stupid…. :]

[moderator says]: okay everyone, let’s keep this one respectful and on an even keel; it’s clear there are differences of values and opinions, but unless it is directly serving to answer the original question, save your personal commentary for the chat room.

@nikipedia et. al: Please review the Fluther Guidelines to find the criteria for flagging questions and posts (quips).

I have a question for the asker. What about the mormons who practice in polygamy? Is husband and wife and wife better in your eyes than a caring homosexual couple when raising a child?

I do not believe in polygamy and the people that do practice are not members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. . They do there own thing.

Ok, but I wasn’t trying to pull your chain. I wanted to know if you thought that was better because there are 2 sexes involved in that type of marriage. I take it by your answer you feel it isn’t.

Or it is a really bad dodge.

regardless what you think I know what I believe. Please stop attacking me.

eklamor, when you state your opinions and beliefs in such an absolute fashion as you did previously in this thread, it’s only to be expected that others will respond in the same way with their views…....and correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you invited it in your first post.
You don’t display much tolerance for ‘non-conformity’, so why should people show much tolerance of your views? And please don’t respond by saying because you’re right because that’s the whole point here…....you live your life with your tunnel-vision, whilst others try to see the full panoramic picture.

Even tho in a previous post you invited people to “tear you apart” I was not attacking you, I was asking a serious question. Maybe you should have included religious belifs in the original question. That didn’t come out until later in the thread. Your original question asked about the sex of parents, and whether people thought same sex parents would make children miss out on certain lessons in life. You were asking for opinions and you got them. That doesn’t make anyone here right or wrong. It is their personal opinion. Did you really want to discuss this, or were you baiting people into a religious debate?

Ahhh.. The victim card.The anchor of Christianity.

After reading through this thread again I began to wonder if the poster was truly looking for an “answer,” or just an affirmation of their beliefs.

And BirdlegLeft wins this question..

I feel the premises of your arguments as to why same sex marriage should not be legal is faulty. 1. Marriage is a civil legal contract. Any two consenting adults are free to enter into any legal contact with one another at anytime. 2. I am married and have chosen to NOT procreate, does that mean I should not be allowed to marry? Procreation is not the only reason for marriage. The basis of your argument claims it is. 3. We are ALWAYS changing laws. That is what our Country is founded on. It’s called Congress and it is why there are three branches to our government to ensure that the will of the majority does not interfere with the rights of the minority. Specifically, this is the job of the Supreme Court. Finally, just because you are homosexual doesn’t mean u can’t have children. Most homosexuals have the working plumbing should they choose to deviate from their norm & procreate. Again, ability too & desire are completely different. By your arguments all infertile people should divorce.

I hope you can come up with more compelling arguments for your paper. You will surely fail if this is your logic.

PS-I don’t believe in your God. My God says homosexual marriage & parenting is okay. I believe my God is superior & correct. Therefore, your God is wrong & just based on that fact alone we should allow same sex marriage. Since my God is the correct God.

@Luna, I always wondered what would happen if God were actually on opposing sides of a conflict. How messed up would that be? Thank you for getting a smile from me.

@birdleg—glad I could make you smile. For some reason I don’t think God really sweats the small stuff. And in the grand scheme of things this falls into the small stuff category for me. What’s so wrong with people loving one another?

A parent’s sexuality does not affect their ability or capacity to provide a nurturing and loving home. Both heterosexual and homosexual parents can do great jobs.

A parent’s sexuality, however, does not go unnoticed by children. Children learn how to love and how to be loving by way of their parents. Homosexuality is a condition of both nurture and nature – and the combination of nature/nurture. Because of this, the question arises about whether a child’s preference is driven by what is “normal” in their environment.

Regarding those who are Christian, and simply do not believe homosexuality is something built in by nature – they do not hate simply because they do not believe. And just because they do not believe does not mean they take every obscure text in the Bible as law.

Homosexuality is strange for every society outside of Christianity as well. While it has existed forever, and goes back as far as human history, every society has considered it taboo. From the backwoods villages to the mountains of Tibet, the adobe buildings to the tea houses – it has always been the hush-hush topic. When people automatically label those who have not come around to accepting homosexuality as normal “Christians” and “bigots”, it is disparaging and incorrect.

Take a realistic look at what is happening. Society is changing. It takes a long time for old ideas and ways to wear off. The human society, for the length of its existence, and for its existence, has revered heterosexuality. Only in recent history have homosexuals demanded recognition as normal. It will take time. This is a major societal change, in every society. Give it time – and do not call those who are slow to accept, “hateful” or “bigots”. Give it time.

A person is not hateful, or a bigot, until they speak or act in such a way.

This thread runs around in circles.

husband and wife!

Gender doesn’t matter. Also, think about this. There is a straight couple that hates eachother that is married. and a gay couple that loves eachother that are married. Love is the more important thing, and so I say that gender is the least important thing, furthremore skill is the most important thing in this situation. It doesn’t matter what your gender is seriiously. What kind of homophobia question is this?

Who let bigots use the internet?

From Slate magazine:

A year and a half ago, Mary Cheney, the vice president’s daughter, announced that she was pregnant and that she and her lesbian partner would raise the child. Conservatives protested, arguing that gay parents are bad for kids. But dozens of studies compiled by the American Psychological Association showed otherwise.

If you analyze the parenting data that’s been presented by opponents of gay marriage, it actually indicates that men, not homosexuals, are the problem group. Men are overwhelmingly responsible for crime, domestic violence, and sexual abuse. In fact, in some studies, lesbians score better than straight parents on affection, active caretaking, and parenting skills. It isn’t because they’re lesbians. It’s because two moms are better than one.

Hmm as part of a mixed sex parenting team I could only suggest that you need at least 4 people per child/